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  1. #11
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    yes

  2. #12
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    If something's not OK with me, I have no issue expressing that fact until it seems like the other person is clear on what my reasons are. Some things aren't worth arguing over though, and I'll occasionally say "it's fine" when I mean "do as you wish because you're going to anyway". If I've already stated over and over that something is "not fine" and yet the person asking me the question continues to try and get me to accept what they're doing as fine, then I'll say "it's fine" as a way of eliminating the potential for an argument and also to get them out of my face.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  3. #13
    Senior Member bighairything's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by noigmn View Post
    It's an illusion. ENFPs don't like controlling so we hand control back. It doesn't mean we aren't in a strong position. If you watch carefully, we normally get our way still and don't end up doing much that we don't want to. And when the shit hits the fan we normally step it up and survive better than most.

    That is to say, they're not walking over us in our domain. We're just adapting for whatever reason and are not bound to it in any way.
    Yep, this!

  4. #14
    Senior Member bighairything's Avatar
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    It is true though what's been said that it can go down very well with ENFPs when you re-ask the question, just to check. I understand how it can be frustrating to others, but just as we're willing to forfeit our opinions on a lot of things, we do find it validating to have those opinions coaxed out of us.

    Also, whole layers of meaning are attached to the tone and manner in which we might say a simple "yes" or "no". Again, no doubt very frustrating to others, but you've got to be careful how you press the point. When I ask my xNFP girlfriend if something's wrong, I'll know instantly if she's lying when she says "no". I'll then ask her if there's really not something wrong, and more often than not she won't say anything at all the second time. If you ask somebody twice whether something is wrong, and they haven't disclosed anything, you really shouldn't say anything more at that point. At that point physical communication becomes important - touch and, particularly if you're in bed, breathing - but you have to judge the level so you're on the one hand providing them comfort and security, but on the other leaving them space. Once she's had time to think about it, she'll always then herself discuss with me what the problem was, but this is fairly straightforward for us because we speak the same NFP language. I can't help thinking it must be a total minefield for someone who doesn't.

  5. #15
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    Auxiliary Fi allows too much in the name of possible good feeling; tertiary Fi disallows too much in the name of possible bad feeling. They say, no, go ahead, it's fine. You say, whut?--are you high or something? You don't like *that*.

    Then the ENFP has the opportunity to clarify in the moment out loud with you what he or she thinks is valuable.
    Therein follows the benevolence of a benignly predisposed ENFP. They like you more because you let them be them.
    beautiful explanation. It's that recognition that we are flexing to give something up for you, and you, in those few seconds, recognizing that it may make us unhappy, thus sacrificing what you wanted. It's an Fi love circle. God we are fucktards.

    I only do this in personal relationships though, not work issues as I have grown older. I do not let my innate desire to make others happy conflict with the goal of pushing the whole company towards a more productive state.

    Flexing itself? The act of letting someone else "win" even if it makes me unhappy and not speaking up? It really depends upon the nature of the personal relationship.

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