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  1. #11
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I need a lot of time every day to myself to stay sane. But I also need people very much. I would wither out in the middle of nowhere.

    I have a broad dark streak. I didn't know what to make of it when I was younger and feared it. Since then, I've learned what it really is, and am no longer afraid of it. It seems paradoxical to have such deep feelings of kindness and care for my fellow man, and revolve around humanity while naturally having wrack and storm rolling across my plain, over and over in succession.

    Light and shadow, bound together inextricably.

    I use my Se as a relief valve too, Yloh.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  2. #12
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    I swear our heavy emotional intensity is in place so we can empathize and take on larger hoards of people, but our heavy emotional intensity makes us less likely to manage all of that empathy and all of those people. It can cause our greatest imperfections, especially if we can't embrace and understand it.
    You're not kidding, sister.


    Fe dom and Ni aux certainly affect the hell out of me, but i don't find that my basis is as externalized as most other ENFJs. I focus intensely on the people i am close with in my life and don't really care about my ability to affect the rest.
    My Ni and Fe tie me to a chair and do what they like. There's not a single bag of chips or cabinet unopened while I'm trying to free myself. The other day, my Ni spat up almost 8,500 separate words. "Look look! I'm a pocket dictionary!"

    My Fe was delighted by this, clapped it's hands and shouted, "Do it again!"

    By the time I got free from the duct tape, my brain was on fire and the house was a mess.

    I internalize events/actions/words automatically. I don't know how NOT to. It's automatic. Then again, I don't live very externally. I keep myself under wraps. I wear flashy clothes because it suits me, but I'm neither confessional nor free-wheeling.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  3. #13
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    Your words are so tantalizing to the intellect, and remarkably thought provoking.

    /is envious

    I can relate to quite a bit of what all the above posters said, with some variations of course.

    I particularly noticed the other day how much I enjoy using Ni to surmise hypothesis and theories, systems. The inner Ti of puzzle solving too. BF seems to completely lack both, thus my consciously noticing them.
    3w2


    Those who are content being normal lack the depth and passion to rise above mediocracy.
    To push beyond their natural abilities and create a reality from their dreams.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yloh View Post
    For me, I love people in general. I want to learn all about them, be a part of them, help them, and just all of that awesome stuff. I often think of ways on how to make our world a better place. What makes it hard is I often come to a conclusion of "If everybody did things this way, things would be better" attitude. Also, thinking about stuff at a global level can make one realize how unfair the world can be (good people not getting their share).What happens is those realities and expectations come pouring in at me. ... Rather on a larger scale or a smaller personal level, the drive to help combined with the harsh reality can be really hard. The worst part is realizing that I can be part of the problem sometimes.
    I get into this rut too. Yet we both still know that if everybody did things "this way" there would be negative consequences. How would people learn, for example? I know when I start to think like this its a red flag that i need less Fe.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yloh View Post
    This cause me to hate people in general.
    I know what you mean. This means RETREAT FROM THE WORLD and get your head on straight!!! for me. Is that what you've found?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yloh View Post
    Being an ENFJ Se is my relief function. In my case, it helps me realize I'm making things too hard on my self. No expectations, no motivations, no worries. Doing things I enjoy doing for fun, here and now, also helps takes things off my mind. Se is a function I truly want to make a larger impact in my life.
    Omigosh Se is THE BEST for this. I think sometimes I at least appear to be ALL Se bc its such a preference. Its SUCH a relief. There are of course consequences that come from being too Se heavy, but still...

    Quote Originally Posted by Yloh View Post
    Sometimes I feel alone in this world and was wondering if anybody in here could relate.
    Absofriginlutely.

  5. #15
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    Help.

    I'm loosing my faith in humanity.

    Anyone?

    Anyone?



    Seems like all the people I've gotten to know as friends recently have seemed perfectly normal like you and I and wonderful smart, intelligent friends... Until I've gotten to know them better after several months. Then I find out either they are really slutty doing inappropriate stuff with superiors at work, or they are secretly so depressed with life that little things overwhelm them, and they resort to crushing their anti-depressants and sniffing them off the table several times a night while we're hanging out.

    Not that I'm going to judge, actually I feel sorry for them, but...

    When they start talking about bringing the heroin over, I mentally go (uh wtf?) we are intelligent aspiring business people here...

    I'm almost afraid to get to know more people at school/work personally now.

    I like my rosy make-belief view of them being normal.
    3w2


    Those who are content being normal lack the depth and passion to rise above mediocracy.
    To push beyond their natural abilities and create a reality from their dreams.

  6. #16
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nynesneg View Post
    Help.

    I'm loosing my faith in humanity.

    Anyone?

    Anyone?



    Seems like all the people I've gotten to know as friends recently have seemed perfectly normal like you and I and wonderful smart, intelligent friends... Until I've gotten to know them better after several months. Then I find out either they are really slutty doing inappropriate stuff with superiors at work, or they are secretly so depressed with life that little things overwhelm them, and they resort to crushing their anti-depressants and sniffing them off the table several times a night while we're hanging out.

    Not that I'm going to judge, actually I feel sorry for them, but...

    When they start talking about bringing the heroin over, I mentally go (uh wtf?) we are intelligent aspiring business people here...

    I'm almost afraid to get to know more people at school/work personally now.

    I like my rosy make-belief view of them being normal.
    This is something you have to come to terms with and better sooner than later.
    Humans are dysfunctional creatures, riddled with issues and bad coping skills. You're going to want to save them, but you can't save them from themselves. You're going to want to withdraw and do so if you must, but realize that dysfunction will resonate in so many of the people you will meet. You don't need to be around that sort, but don't be surprised when you can open your eyes and it is there in front of you.

    If you sift through them all and far too quickly, you'll surely miss some that will inevitably pick up their own pieces. You may end up sifting through everyone, but who is to say.
    Keep your faith in the fact that people are people. They are amazing by default based on their ability to make choices. It doesn't mean you have to stand by their choices.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  7. #17
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    I just haven't gotten to know people personally with so much shit until recently. Yeah, everyone has the usual I-don't-get-along-with-my-family story, divorce, or insecurities story. But this is different.

    I'm just trying to make some normal intelligent business friends that I can hang out with. /sigh. I can't be the I'm-going-to-make-you-feel-good-about-life-because-I'm empathetic friend all the time.


    I don't need to save people, I just need hope that there are more people like me out there? Or just who don't turn to drugs and flirting with everyone while married to fulfill their self esteem?

    If I'm feeling bad about my life I climb in a hole and over-analyze my life then find actions I can force myself to do Ti "fix" the problem. Drugs are just a bandaid, they don't fix anything. Yeah I've had shit too, I was anorexic at one point in HS and fucked up because my mom was given 5 years to live with cancer. But that's not who I am now.
    3w2


    Those who are content being normal lack the depth and passion to rise above mediocracy.
    To push beyond their natural abilities and create a reality from their dreams.

  8. #18
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nynesneg View Post
    I just haven't gotten to know people personally with so much shit until recently. Yeah, everyone has the usual I-don't-get-along-with-my-family story, divorce, or insecurities story. But this is different.

    I'm just trying to make some normal intelligent business friends that I can hang out with. /sigh. I can't be I'm-going-to-make-you-feel-good-about-live-because-I'm empathetic friends all the time.


    I don't need to save people, I just need hope that there are more people like me out there? Or just who don't turn to drugs and flirting with everyone to fulfill their self esteem?
    Those people definitely exist, but there are heaps of the drug-using/attention-getting sorts. I'm surprised you haven't come across them earlier.
    Were i you, i'd ask them "Why?" and then just pass through. Don't be too worried about getting to know other people. There may be some others who have already made their way through the group you're currently around.
    Don't lose all hope, basically.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  9. #19
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    Of course the good Fe person I am I try to help these people and they come to me like a magnet. I exude a depth of understanding and caring, and don't push them away after little annoyances. But if I try to help it's not like it changes anything.
    3w2


    Those who are content being normal lack the depth and passion to rise above mediocracy.
    To push beyond their natural abilities and create a reality from their dreams.

  10. #20
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nynesneg View Post
    Of course the good Fe person I am I try to help these people and they come to me like a magnet. I exude a depth of understanding and caring, and don't push them away after little annoyances. But if I try to help it's not like it changes anything.
    Eh that is how it goes. I would just find out their reasoning, perhaps call them out on it. I'm brash though and prefer to give people something to stew over that might snap them from their little bubble eventually.
    I'm sure you know you've got to focus on yourself and what you're moving toward. Maybe it will set a good example indirectly and they'll see it or maybe more like-minded people will witness that and better bonds will be formed.
    Smack the Fe down with a stick, sometimes it is just like an overly excited puppy that doesn't know what's going on and pees on the floor.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

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