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  1. #21
    Junior Member LiLyLemon's Avatar
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    Would you say you have learned to laugh at yourself? I think the expression "Mieux vaut en rire qu'en pleurer" ('Tis better to laugh than to cry about it) has been very salutary at certain moments in my depression. Learning to take a step back and observe the intense, hard-to-read INFJ character with humour is a good thing.
    Beautiful quote, and a running theme in my own life I find. I have often struggled with long periods of depression. I think a lot of unfortunate events have occurred in my life which I've felt are beyond my control. Other types may have used pure hard logic to overcome or block out feelings in this situation. But, I embrace how mood reactive I am. The highs are so high and the lows are indeed very low. I think it only becomes a problem because others misunderstand this intensity of feeling, and regard it as futile. Undermining the way you see the world, although you know you often see things more clearly some would ever imagine.

    Thus bringing me back to the seemingly paradoxical ways of being INFJ. Being empathic denotes understanding. So I do understand at times that this over feeling of things might appear pointless or a waste of energy, which is when the laughing instead of crying comes in. I think this isn't a cover of true feelings though, but a mere form of release. To laugh or cry they are both ways of truly expressing emotion.

    I do not think anyone should feel belittled or wrong for being sensitive, or even over sensitive. Repressing feelings in my opinion can be extremely detrimental to a person's wellbeing. I have seen the damage caused when a person shuts down, to the point of being unable to say or show what they are honestly feeling. I admit to finding it a burden at times, the extremes of my emotions. But I would rather stay true to them, along with the problems this sometimes brings, than attempt to keep them at bay and mentally implode.

  2. #22
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Oh yeah...the art thing too. Sensitive people are inclined to create things like paintings and poetry in order to communicate their own feelings and make others feel.
    I do that...

    This thread is making me feel INFJ...

    I may not be sensitive to a lot of things as INTJ, but when it comes from someone I really love or have a high opinion of, I can feel so intensely it rips my soul apart and I dont know what to do with myself. Damn you Fi.

  3. #23
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    Yeah, I don't know how to describe it, but I'll give it a shot.

    It's one thing to understand or comprehend something--a concept, an idea, a theory, another person. But to actually connect to it? That's a completely different game altogether, and it takes the capacity to feel deeply.

    It can be emotional movement from a piece of music that signifies that you've truly been spoken to. It can be a sudden shocking feeling and a resultant, fleeting mind-blanking that comes with touching a loved one. It can be a catharsis after some grand epiphany. Whatever it is, it's all a part of the same phenomenon.

    When you actually connect in such a fashion, you're truly feeling that you're part of something much larger than yourself, caring about and encompassing things that are so far removed from your own scope.

    It's subjective, yet very far-reaching at times. If channeled correctly, it has the ability to not only significantly impact others' lives, but also make your own life so much more enriching and.. just meaningful.

  4. #24
    Member Goodewitch's Avatar
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    Whats the purpose? Buggered if I know,..
    I imagine it has something to do with needing a few people in the world to be the tortured artist, the poet who falls to the depths and scrapes the heights with inspirational insight.
    Without the awful depth of feelings, or the pain of sensitivity, the world wouldnt have those moments of spiritual inspiration, that sensitive NF types seem to bring for all our edification.
    You gotta go through the furnace, supposedly ,to come out as refined and pure.
    Deep emotion and sensitivity can be transformative, for the individual, and sometimes for whole cultures.
    Think Jesus Christ, other religious figures, great artists, great musicians, some take their pain and produce beauty and truth, for us all.
    Thats the ultimate purpose I suppose,.. transformaton.
    It doesnt always get there, most of us just end up hurt and depressed,.. and trying to heal for the next round,... but sometimes, in special cases spiritual transformative beauty and truth can be made.
    Its a philosophers stone,.. gold from lead. Alchemical in nature,.. and blesses and transforms those who are touched by it.
    G. x
    My INFJ license is regulary revoked,.. I am a sometime refugee in the INTJ holding centre.

  5. #25
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goodewitch View Post
    Whats the purpose? Buggered if I know,..
    I imagine it has something to do with needing a few people in the world to be the tortured artist, the poet who falls to the depths and scrapes the heights with inspirational insight.
    Without the awful depth of feelings, or the pain of sensitivity, the world wouldnt have those moments of spiritual inspiration, that sensitive NF types seem to bring for all our edification.
    You gotta go through the furnace, supposedly ,to come out as refined and pure.
    Deep emotion and sensitivity can be transformative, for the individual, and sometimes for whole cultures.
    Think Jesus Christ, other religious figures, great artists, great musicians, some take their pain and produce beauty and truth, for us all.
    Thats the ultimate purpose I suppose,.. transformaton.
    It doesnt always get there, most of us just end up hurt and depressed,.. and trying to heal for the next round,... but sometimes, in special cases spiritual transformative beauty and truth can be made.
    Its a philosophers stone,.. gold from lead. Alchemical in nature,.. and blesses and transforms those who are touched by it.
    G. x

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    I do that...

    This thread is making me feel INFJ...

    I may not be sensitive to a lot of things as INTJ, but when it comes from someone I really love or have a high opinion of, I can feel so intensely it rips my soul apart and I dont know what to do with myself. Damn you Fi.
    Tertiary Fi is awesome. ENFPs love it.

  7. #27
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greed View Post
    If channeled correctly, it has the ability to not only significantly impact others' lives, but also make your own life so much more enriching and.. just meaningful.
    But how do I use it to be rich and famous?
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    When I tell my story to people, they only see it as a misunderstanding, something I'm taking way too personally, I'm megasensitive, etc.

    And at some moments, I see clearly and understand it is not so tragic as I take it.

    Why do NFs need to feel upset so easily? What is the purpose of this, what's its usefulness?

    The only logical answer I find is compassion and empathy. When an event has wounded us, we remember the feelings so vividly that whenever we see someone else suffering, we want to help and listen. Does this makes sense to you?
    What is the purpose of emotions?

    Emotions tell us what hurts, where it hurts...

    Imagine touching a HOT stove. Nerve endings and pain receptors tell our brain OOOOUCH MOVE HAND!!!!!!!!

    Imagine experiencing a deep sadness. How would your brain tell you to respond?

    Hot Stove Analogy
    The better your reflexes, the more equipped you are to react properly.

    Applied to Emotions
    Emotions tell us how to behave in the future, how to interact with the external environment. Emotions are crucial to learning from past mistakes.

    Event:
    You are talking to a friend who suddenly begins to look very sad. You immediately recognize the sadness and begin to feel sad yourself.

    Action:
    Which would you choose
    1. Ignore sadness
    2. Examine sadness, figure out origins, do nothing
    3. #2 + do something abt source of sadness

    Which choice will lead to the best outcome?

    Emotional intelligence weighs heavily in determining a successful outcome, however one may define "success."
    Emotional intelligence is not only how well/intensely/quickly we experience & process emotions. Its also how well those emotions motivate us to act.

    I understand what you mean, and I agree that a lifetime of experiencing emotions very intensely and naturally finding great relevance in emotion can be... uncomfortable at times, to say the least However, the true tragedy lies in having no sensor for emotional pain. At an even greater loss is possessing the sensors while neglecting developing a skilled use of that sensor.

    Intense negative emotions provide an even greater motivation to remove whatever stimulus triggered the negative emote, no?

    The complexity of human emotions when paired with our higher level thinking abilities are like unto a sixth sense when compared to other mammals.

  9. #29
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Tertiary Fi is awesome. ENFPs love it.
    Then why doesnt my ENFP love me?

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    Then why doesnt my ENFP love me?

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