[MBTI General] The People like Me

[briochick]

I've noticed that the more I've come to understand my own personality the more I can recognize similarities in other people. I can see like-kind often in similar ideas about life, or feelings about home and making goals, and majors. I met a soft spoken guy in his late 20's who was talking about (but hadn't yet) getting his graduate degree. He'd had a very similar major in college and also taught esl abroad. He was pretty self-effacing. I could see like-kind. Some of my proudest and worst qualities reflected back.

Here's the thing though, I often don't get along with like-kind nearly as well as you'd think I would. I find that I match with INFJs in conversations, and INTJs. They consider me a bit flaky but otherwise we have fun. I GET other INFPs but I'm usually absurdly disappointed in them. Like; so much skill just sitting there. It is a very similar sentiment that I feel about myself.

Then there are others who I get but I'm offended by. A particular ENFJ comes to mind.

Others I can have basic conversations with but it must be limited to very superficial things or offense is taken on both sides, like with my ESFP sister or an ESFP friend of mine.

There are ones I don't get, and who sometimes annoy me, but I need, and with whom there is a mutual appreciation, xSFJs are generally this case.

People are much more complicated than a simple cognative functions system. Much more. My father and I are both Idealists but he approaches the world as something to conquer or protect yourself from, I approach it as something to be cautious with and seek to understand, his anger directs outwards, mine inwards. He believes that morality changes on a day to day basis, I don't.
My sister and my brother are both Artisans but they approach life very differently as well. Thinking similarities, but attitude differences.

In addition I've been studying a bit of enneagram, which I think explains the attitudes better.

Anyway, it's been nice, nice to let go of rigid ideas and use them as general guidelines to understand people, to begin to get at their motivations, to understand myself and what I can connect to, what I can only appreciate, and what I can't stand. I find that it's not necessarily personality, but the person.

What about you?

 

[Yloh]

I've noticed that the more I've come to understand my own personality the more I can recognize similarities in other people. I can see like-kind often in similar ideas about life, or feelings about home and making goals, and majors. I met a soft spoken guy in his late 20's who was talking about (but hadn't yet) getting his graduate degree. He'd had a very similar major in college and also taught esl abroad. He was pretty self-effacing. I could see like-kind. Some of my proudest and worst qualities reflected back.

I do this a lot with others as well.

Here's the thing though, I often don't get along with like-kind nearly as well as you'd think I would. I find that I match with INFJs in conversations, and INTJs. They consider me a bit flaky but otherwise we have fun. I GET other INFPs but I'm usually absurdly disappointed in them. Like; so much skill just sitting there. It is a very similar sentiment that I feel about myself.

Sometimes the people I most despise are those with my own weaknesses. I know how to solve their problems, but I haven't even solved my own. This isn't bothering me as much now because I'm learning how to deal with myself. Sometimes I believe you can be your worst enemy. By seeing your negative aspects being reflected back at you can be a horrible reality to face.

Others I can have basic conversations with but it must be limited to very superficial things or offense is taken on both sides

For me it is when people have very closed minds and have beliefs that contradict mine. I can only really talk about simple facts with them and I often blend my personality to fit theirs so no conflict arises. I normally try to be a good friend, but when the line gets drawn I avoid these people.

Also I can feel this way with sensors sometimes. They will talk about all sorts of subjects that I have absolutely no interest in and the subjects I like to talk about they have absolutely no interest in.

There are ones I don't get, and who sometimes annoy me, but I need, and with whom there is a mutual appreciation

This is probably the case of others having qualities that you don't have. You are an NP and you appreciate SJs. SJs have a consistency and reliability that NPs really don't have as much of.

For me it is thinkers. I appreciate how thinkers can be true to themselves and offer unbiased advise. I have seen how thinkers show their love for others and it is wonderful to see. Also SPs do it for me. Sometimes it is refreshing for me to just live the moment and enjoy what I have now.

People are much more complicated than a simple cognative functions system. Much more.

Well of course, nobody can be put in a box. That is why these tests should only be used as an outline. A simple guide to help, but it takes quality time to truly get to know somebody.

Anyway, it's been nice, nice to let go of rigid ideas and use them as general guidelines to understand people, to begin to get at their motivations, to understand myself and what I can connect to, what I can only appreciate, and what I can't stand. I find that it's not necessarily personality, but the person.

 

[Eruca]

Here's the thing though, I often don't get along with like-kind nearly as well as you'd think I would. I find that I match with INFJs in conversations, and INTJs. They consider me a bit flaky but otherwise we have fun. I GET other INFPs but I'm usually absurdly disappointed in them. Like; so much skill just sitting there. It is a very similar sentiment that I feel about myself.

I have recently become aquainted with another INTP at my college. "Absurdly dissapointed" aptly describes my feelings about him. He has a good heart and is very intelligent but surprisingly emotionally/socially immature. I am amazed to see someone five years my senior still displays so many stereotypical negative INTP traits I have managed to rid myself of.

I am confident I am not being biased. I want him to be admirable. ;(

 

[BerberElla]

I know what you mean. I never really understood why I felt an instant connection with some people over others, it was just something that was. Then I learned about MBTI, and began to see that I could pick out other NF's so easily.

Not from a look, or the way they walked, but one conversation and I could be confident they would turn out to be an NF.

Online I don't get along with everyone of the NF persuasion, but IRL all of my NF interactions have been very satisfying. I think I get affirmation just by being around people like me.