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  1. #1
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Default Complimenting ENFP's (Male/Female)

    What kind of compliments make you ENFP's swoon/gush/melt? What are some of the best or most memorable compliments you've received? Compliments about appearance? About your talents?

    Would love to hear from both Men/Women.
    ---

    My experience:
    A male ENFP was inviting me to play tennis with friends, and I said, "but I dont know how to play". And he says: "That's ok, neither do I!" I said "You always say that, but then you're actually good at it!" He totally gushed at this compliment. I guess he was insecure about being good at sports and this made him feel good.

    On another occasion, he was going on a trip to a foreign country and was trying to learn a bit of the language. I said: "You'll be fine. You'll just charm your way through." He major gushed!

    Ahhhh...It's so nice to watch this seemingly confident and macho ENFP squirm with insecurity like a cute little kid when he gets complimented.


  2. #2
    Senior Member chatoyer's Avatar
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    Something unique in any of those areas. NFs are obsessed with having a unique identity (and a unique relationship with you!), so the compliments that really get to us are ones that show you noticed something unusual about us. With your friend, you made a general pattern-like compliment that he could apply to more than just tennis, so that's probably why it had that powerful effect on him.

    I get shy and embarrassed when getting a compliment, especially from an NT, because the compliments are rare and you guys are usually hard to impress. But I really treasure those compliments, even if I act all flustered or don't take the compliment well in the moment.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chatoyer View Post
    Something unique in any of those areas. NFs are obsessed with having a unique identity (and a unique relationship with you!), so the compliments that really get to us are ones that show you noticed something unusual about us.
    absolutely. anything that has to do with a "i-have-never-met-anyone-like-you" feel.

    sometimes i don't know how to express how much a compliment has meant to me outwardly, but i secretly treasure it.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Heart&Brain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chatoyer View Post
    Something unique in any of those areas. NFs are obsessed with having a unique identity (and a unique relationship with you!), so the compliments that really get to us are ones that show you noticed something unusual about us. With your friend, you made a general pattern-like compliment that he could apply to more than just tennis, so that's probably why it had that powerful effect on him.

    I get shy and embarrassed when getting a compliment, especially from an NT, because the compliments are rare and you guys are usually hard to impress. But I really treasure those compliments, even if I act all flustered or don't take the compliment well in the moment.
    Oh yes, yes +1!

    Especially the bolded part: this kind of compliments will be recieved completely different from a compliment for a specific performance in tennis or whatever field in question. We blush because you've SEEN US. And that's kinda intimate...

  5. #5
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    You still into the same guy?

  6. #6
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    You still into the same guy?
    I'm completely smitten It's so complicated. He's showing signs of being enamored with me all over again. It seems so genuine this time. But neither one of us is being completely vulnerable yet.

    I've just always known he's truly liked me

    Alas..he leaves in a few months and it'll all be over soon....

    First time I've ever experienced feelings this strong for somebody. Its been a hell of a rollercoaster. sigh...

  7. #7
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Aw that's rough What is he leaving for?

    A compliment counts when it is actually real so it's hard to "plan" one. I imagine you actually meant what you said about the sports.

  8. #8
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    Aw that's rough What is he leaving for?

    A compliment counts when it is actually real so it's hard to "plan" one. I imagine you actually meant what you said about the sports.
    He's moving away to another state. He never seems to stay in one place. Wants to make it big in the arts.

    Yeah, those were spontaneous and genuine compliments, in a very serious INTJ manner.

    Thread was just out of curiousity to know what makes you guys tick. Cant get enough of your type

  9. #9
    Obsession. Lethe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    I'm completely smitten It's so complicated.

    Its been a hell of a rollercoaster. sigh...
    Oh, how familiar.

    The raw, intense passion they stir feels utterly uncontrollable and foreign, yet... rather addicting. I must admit that after my own ENFP experience, it's been very hard to capture anything like it again.

    So enjoy the rollercoaster ride while you can. Embrace the moment.
    "I cannot expect even my own art to provide all of the answers -- only to hope it keeps asking the right questions." -- Grace Hartigan

    Enneagram: Tritype - 1w9, 5 (balanced wings), 2w3; Overall Variant: So/Sx
    SLOAN: rCoa|I|
    Functional Preferences: Ni, Te/Fi, Ti, Se, Fe, Si, Ne


    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Looking into the eyes of a [Ni user] is like peeking through a portal into a parallel universe.

  10. #10
    Senior Member bighairything's Avatar
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    Have no idea how typical of ENFPs I am, but in term so what makes me (male ENFP) tick...

    First thing that popped into my head: sometimes it's the silly, non-serious compliments that can mean the most. One morning after I had spent the night at my girlfriend's place I needed to go to the toilet, and babbling incessantly as I am wont to do I commented that I better put some clothes on as her flatmate and her flatmate's sister were around. She said yes I should, as otherwise they'll steal me from her. After laughing at this I passingly commented that if I were to wander out naked the last thing they would want to do would be to steal me (on account of the fact that I would come across as a creep). After seeming to give this a moment's consideration she said: "No, they'll steal you." I absolutely adore my girlfriend, but at that moment I adored her even more than ever. Not sure how much that counts though because it wasn't really the compliment itself -- which was nonsense -- but the sentiment behind it that moved me.

    Apart from that I would say that I might not seem to be very good at taking compliments, but -- echoing what has already been said -- the ones that show someone has noticed something I am good at are the ones that mean the most. I'm generally not one for false modesty when it comes to abilities, so if I say I'm crap (or not so good) at something it means I think I'm crap (or not so good) at it, and it doesn't move when someone says "oh, but you are good at it" because I'll at best disagree with the compliment and at worst disbelieve its sincerity. Conversely, if someone compliments me on something that I know to be a strength, or have done well, my initial reaction may come across as a little too matter-of-fact (i.e. "yes, that is a strength" or "yes, I did do that well"). However, once the fact that I have been complimented has sunk in, it does mean a lot to me.

    Most flattering thing that anyone has ever told me: some years ago a clothes designer that I met that previously that evening told me that there some people that can wear anything and make it look good and that I was one of those people. I think I'd be too embarrassed to ever tell anyone about that IRL -- and I don't think it's true anymore if ever it even was true to begin with -- but I doubt I'll forget that compliment to my dying day.

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