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Thread: Are NFs Clingy?

  1. #41
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    I think I used to be clingy (codependent with my mate), but not anymore. I'm not sure why. I think I've experienced rejection so much in my life that at some point I learned to just withdraw into myself until I felt better, or work through things myself; that clinging to others never worked anyway, or just made me feel worse. I am very attached to the people I love though.
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  2. #42
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    I was never clingy 'till I hooked up with a T.
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    "In my soul rages a battle without victor. Between faith without proof and reason without charm." - Sully Prudhomme

  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by toast View Post
    I was never clingy 'till I hooked up with a T.
    i better not know you in real life

  4. #44
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    If I'm feeling especially lonely or insecure I can be, but I try to keep a lid on it because it's counter-productive.
    ^This is true for me.
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  5. #45
    Member BMEF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    I've been criticized for it, and I've wanted to criticize my own type friends for it from time to time, so ... yes, in my experience.
    What a very unique response! I was only criticized once for being clingy back when I was in 7th grade. I was labeled as clingy by two of my closest friends (that time) probably because I showed too much emotions towards them.

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I can be. Especially if I'm scared, insecure, or stupidly in love.

    However, I can also pull away and be distant. There is such a thing as "too much togetherness." I need space and I realize that other people do to.
    Based on my high school observations, I've noticed that many students that have crushes on their teachers act very clingy. However, other students that have crushes on their teachers might act aloof and cold.

    In my opinion, realizing that other people need space is really essential in order to receive someone else's respect.

    Thank you all for your deep, sincere thoughts!

  6. #46
    Member Goodewitch's Avatar
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    Well for me, a distinction has to be made between being clingy, and being intense.
    I am always intense when I'm with someone, but this doesnt equate to needing to be around them, in terms of time spent together.
    I am fine with having space and time on my own, but I do tend to want to 'check in' a lot, to see how things are bewteen us,.. I never assume everythings ok because theres no apparent problems, I prefer to talk, and ask.
    Is that clingy?
    Dunno, I dont think it is, its intense maybe, or even annoying, but clingy in the sense that I'm clinging onto their leg everywhere they go? Nope.
    G. x
    My INFJ license is regulary revoked,.. I am a sometime refugee in the INTJ holding centre.

  7. #47
    Senior Member HollyGolightly's Avatar
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    Others would probably say that I'm the opposite of clingy. I have been critisised for being too aloof. But inside I have a lot of love but I don't know how to express it without coming across as too intense and well...clingy
    If I didn't care so much about what people think and wasn't ablt to keep my emotions in check I'd probably be clingy. Secretly, I'm insecure and expect people to leave me so sometimes I wanna just hold onto them...but that pushes people away so I sort of go in the opposite direction and become rather distant and aloof....which also pushes people away.....*idiot alert*
    But the more aloof I appear, the more I love ya =)
    And as for types that are more clingy than others...I don't really like to generalise. I knew an INFJ that was very clingy and possessive with her boyfriend...I'm INFJ and I don't behave like that. I actually require a lot of alone time and find it hard to be joined at the hip with someone. But this INFJ wanted to be with her partner all the time, so it's down to the individual really. Past experiences can make you "clingy" due to feelings of insecurity. And sometimes when you think you are losing someone it can make you act clingy even if you're not normally that way.
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  8. #48
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly View Post
    Others would probably say that I'm the opposite of clingy. I have been criticized for being too aloof. But inside I have a lot of love but I don't know how to express it without coming across as too intense and well...clingy

    If I didn't care so much about what people think and wasn't able to keep my emotions in check I'd probably be clingy. Secretly, I'm insecure and expect people to leave me so sometimes I wanna just hold onto them...but that pushes people away so I sort of go in the opposite direction and become rather distant and aloof....which also pushes people away.....*idiot alert*
    But the more aloof I appear, the more I love ya =)

    And as for types that are more clingy than others...I don't really like to generalize. I knew an INFJ that was very clingy and possessive with her boyfriend...I'm INFJ and I don't behave like that. I actually require a lot of alone time and find it hard to be joined at the hip with someone. But this INFJ wanted to be with her partner all the time, so it's down to the individual really. Past experiences can make you "clingy" due to feelings of insecurity. And sometimes when you think you are losing someone it can make you act clingy even if you're not normally that way.
    Good post.

    I think because I dislike clingy-ness or fear seeming pathetic/annoying because of it, I also tend to go to the other extreme (aloof). Finding the middle ground in showing a healthy attachment is hard for me (same as expressing positive feelings - difficult for me find the "right" way). I tend to play it safe so I'm not left "vulnerable".
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  9. #49
    Senior Member Lightyear's Avatar
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    Not in my case. I am sometimes so careful not to appear clingy or like I am bothering someone that people find it difficult to get to know me.

  10. #50
    Senior Member scortia's Avatar
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    I'm as far away from clingy as you can possibly be. I don't have a single friend who is less clingy than me. And when it comes to insecurities,.. meh. Most insecurities are about myself strictly and those stay within... so no related clingyness. I constantly have a leader-mindset towards friends so I don't get enamored with people or latch on. I either conduct the group or am rather detached in general. I've never cared about acceptance or having a huge number of friends so I've never feared losing them either. No need to cling at all.

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