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  1. #1
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Question Describe INFJ manipulation

    I have read allusions in certain posts to manipulation performed by INFJs.

    I don't like manipulation. My ESTJ mother is good at it when she wants something and I don't want to be manipulative myself. One of my church friends was telling me about how manipulative she was as a child (she's a TJ of some kind) and I asked her to explain and describe it. I couldn't relate.

    How would you describe INFJ manipulation with concrete examples so I can detect it and stop doing it if I am? Because if I do, it's not intentional.

  2. #2
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    How would you describe INFJ manipulation with concrete examples so I can detect it and stop doing it if I am? Because if I do, it's not intentional.
    That's easy.


    "You can't have sex with me until you listen to me talk to you about how I feel, and then repeat back to me what I said so I know you were listening."

    :yim_rolling_on_the_

    OK, I will offer the ESTP equivalent so you know I am playing fair and mean no harm:


    "I'm not going to listen to you tell me that what I did was inconsiderate because I am a person of good intent and when I act on my impulses I have already thought through the ramifications of my actions on a number of different levels."

    We're all crazy, don't worry about it!
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  3. #3
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post


    "You can't have sex with me until you listen to me talk to you about how I feel, and then repeat back to me what I said so I know you were listening."

  4. #4
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    I was SOOOOOOOO kidding!

    Relax!!!
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  5. #5
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    i don't think i am manipulative. i feel i'm direct in my requests but most people don't listen to what i want then they feel what i say is being manipulative. i don't think i'm conditional either. everyone has free will.

  6. #6
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Semi-Related Question: how true is the following for INFJ?

    "Hi there. Today our feeling will be *this*. See it, know it, love it, be it. Oh, you don't want to? Gee, that's too bad, I thought you were a good guy. No, I'm not causing you distress, you're doing it to yourself and it hurts me too, but we can talk about it if you like. The terms under which we talk will include that the feeling is *this*, so see it, know it, love it, be it, we'll adapt it as we go. Get ready."
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

    Boy meets Grr

  7. #7
    Member Goodewitch's Avatar
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    Bah!! I wish I could manipulate people, how does one do that? Ive never been able to work out how sneaky minds come up with that sort of cunningness.
    I'm coming up to 40 and stil havent worked out how to do it. Not that I'd be hapy manipulating folks, even if I could.
    I dunno, maybe some INFJ's are whiney, ok, I can concede that maybe, some will be voiciferous in trying to convince you to their way, but overall, (of course I dont speak for every INFJ, only myself,..) I may be going on and on and not really being heard, but it does seem that i have to be a bit repetitive and whingey to actually get someone to lisaten sometimes...yes, i can nag and rant, and even try to wear someone down to coming round to my point of view, but its very much an out in the open, obvious tactic,... nothing manipulative about it. More often than not, my open methods of confrontation or asking people to do things a certain way, do not suceed, so i'm at least one INFJ that couldnt manipulate to save her life.
    I just dont seem to have that paralell type thinking going on.
    G. x
    My INFJ license is regulary revoked,.. I am a sometime refugee in the INTJ holding centre.

  8. #8
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    I'm not saying you guys are wrong about what the feeling will be. I'm saying the movement toward it is purposive.


    Or asking if it is, anyway.
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

    Boy meets Grr

  9. #9
    Senior Member wedekit's Avatar
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    I can predict how particular individuals will react to various ways I could phrase a statement/request. I simply choose the way that will give the best results... well, the ones that are best for me, usually.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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  10. #10
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    I think you mean emotional blackmail

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