User Tag List

First 345

Results 41 to 45 of 45

  1. #41
    Member Prime's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    61

    Default

    While I'm not a big fan of manipulation, sometimes it's necessary in order to result in a desirable outcome. Manipulation can be used for good.

    I hang out with an INFJ-ESTP couple and sometimes I manipulate situations that would yield results that make everyone happy. For a simple, non-serious example: picking restaurants.

    This INFJ woman manifests her indirect nature as indecisiveness, whereas this ESTP man is genuinely indecisive. Outcome: nothing ever happens. However, when ESTP dude makes a suggestion, I'm able to pick up the vibes of INFJ girl. I can tell when a "yes" means "hell no." If it's going to bother her, I'll turn into a tyrant and demand on going somewhere else (somewhere she would prefer to go). Basically, I'll flip my personality around in order to E her I and J his P.

    Why? Well, if the restaurant sucks (they never do), the ESTP can blame me for making a bad choice while the INFJ wouldn't have to feel any guilt. On the other hand, if things go well, everybody's happy. It saps a lot of energy from me, but so does cold INFJ silence.

    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    Because if I do, it's not intentional.
    Just by asking that question, any manipulation you may do is probably not malicious. Being conscious of an action you associate a negative connotation with may mean you already approach people and situations with a lot of thought. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

  2. #42
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Posts
    595

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by wren View Post
    and the little girl approaching the haunted house avatar
    It's not a haunted house, it's the green house in The Shipping News. The little girl has a vision of the storm destroying the old building. She's quite psychic (possible INFJ).

    About your apologies... If you are so sorry about being manipulative, I think you're on the right track.

  3. #43
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    37

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Goodewitch View Post
    Bah!! I wish I could manipulate people, how does one do that? Ive never been able to work out how sneaky minds come up with that sort of cunningness.
    I'm coming up to 40 and stil havent worked out how to do it. Not that I'd be hapy manipulating folks, even if I could.
    I dunno, maybe some INFJ's are whiney, ok, I can concede that maybe, some will be voiciferous in trying to convince you to their way, but overall, (of course I dont speak for every INFJ, only myself,..) I may be going on and on and not really being heard, but it does seem that i have to be a bit repetitive and whingey to actually get someone to lisaten sometimes...yes, i can nag and rant, and even try to wear someone down to coming round to my point of view, but its very much an out in the open, obvious tactic,... nothing manipulative about it. More often than not, my open methods of confrontation or asking people to do things a certain way, do not suceed, so i'm at least one INFJ that couldnt manipulate to save her life.
    I just dont seem to have that paralell type thinking going on.
    G. x
    Why the long-winded answer? Feeling a little stubborn against possible guilty feelings?

  4. #44
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    37

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by wedekit View Post
    I can predict how particular individuals will react to various ways I could phrase a statement/request. I simply choose the way that will give the best results... well, the ones that are best for me, usually.
    Could you see an INFJ doing this for the reason because...He or she is sooo hurt from being unhappy for so long...and do this to the level of it being an ingrained habit after becoming so mentally tired from all that is wrong in their life being unhappy that there appears little other way to respond through their exhaustion?
    And then it sabotages an entire relationship because the person on the receiving end of the 'manipulation' conditions or ends up conditioned to believe they are actually doing something wrong and after awhile of this never knew what is really going on so they respond from a visceral place and react, saying and or doing hurtful things back...

    The whole thing snowballing downward?

    In other words, is it possible nearsightedness isn't apparent to an INFJ?

    That the INFJ wouldn't know what they were doing out of insecurity and not coping or sorting through problems and troubles through life, ending in a place of unhealthiness like this? And it just so happens another person in a relationship gets dragged into it to...not having a clue what is really at work...the relationship ending because it is believed the relationship is to blame but it's really not the relationship but unhealthiness of the INFJ and they couldn't see it?

    I know...it's long winded.

    Comments?

  5. #45
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    37

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CrystalViolet View Post
    This MY experience with INFJ's. You've just discounted my truth, because it isn't congruent with your perception, reinforcing my point. Again INFJ's either don't listen, or dismiss input because it doesn't align with thier reality. No, it's type specific, but in my experience, INFJ's do it far more consistantly then any other type. Occasionally, I wonder if the INFJ's that are currently in my circle have any grips on reality at all.
    Communication starts with listening, if you have already discounted what I have say because it doesn't fit your vision, then that two way, give and take aspect of communication isn't happening, you've let your side down. I can't comminicate if you've stuck a wall up and said that can't be.
    This thread is really interesting, and especially your comments and some others..I'd like to add to this...

    Can this INFJ refusing to accept anything that doesn't align with their vision could come across to another as refusing to be loved? Wouldn't there will be little or not enough growth. Then if this is repeated as a habit, the relationship goes downhill and ends because of some blame game wherein the INFJ really concludes inside that they aren't really loved?
    All because of not aligning to the vision?

    Wouldn't this seem really immature? Or could it be unintentional manipulation? or intentional I suppose?

Similar Threads

  1. [INFJ] Why are INFJs so Manipulative?
    By StarFollowed in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 64
    Last Post: 05-21-2017, 06:44 PM
  2. [INFJ] The way INFJ's should be described imo
    By iNtrovert in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 04-19-2014, 04:19 PM
  3. [INFJ] INFJs: Describe Yourself
    By Usehername in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 07-30-2011, 12:36 PM
  4. [MBTItm] who're more manipulative? entp or infj
    By Riva in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 290
    Last Post: 03-16-2011, 04:55 AM
  5. [INFJ] Any INFJ girls?
    By findthejake in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 157
    Last Post: 05-11-2008, 04:58 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO