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  1. #1
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    Default ENFPs and 'sadness'?

    I am an ENFP, as you can probably see and read. I have a problem with sadness. Despite being medicated for clinical depression, there is still a pain in my heart that never goes away. At times it is much more pronounced than others. It is a lonely and hopeless feeling. Even when I am extremely happy, there is always a twinge. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't sit around and mope. Infact, I am a very animate, joyful person.. But that feeling is always there. It manifests itself in my art, which is commonly dark and gloomy. Is this particular to most ENFPs? Or maybe NFs in general? (Or ALL types at certain periods of time?) Maybe it is because we are idealists, but I'm unsure. Opinions? Facts?

  2. #2
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    I feel lonely a lot when I'm not in a relationship, even though I have friends and family and co-workers, et al. It's a different kind of loneliness. I'm not sure if that's what you mean.

    I've always had a deep, deep capacity for all feelings, and of course that includes sadness. More at some times than others. I cry easily.

  3. #3
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Same as. It's as if something crucial is just broken in me, and no matter how happy I appear, or even feel, it takes a mere moment to be overwhelmed by that sadness that never goes away.

    I quit the meds, they don't really hold anything at bay anymore so it's pointless.

    Someone close to me once suggested that maybe I just didn't know how to be happy, that when I had happiness I eventually saw flaws where none were. Isn't that part of the idealist trait? nopthing ever hits the spot for long?

    No advice, just a poster reaching out to say "yeah, I feel your pain too".
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  4. #4
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I feel lonely a lot when I'm not in a relationship, even though I have friends and family and co-workers, et al. It's a different kind of loneliness. I'm not sure if that's what you mean.

    I've always had a deep, deep capacity for all feelings, and of course that includes sadness. More at some times than others. I cry easily.
    Same, very much the same. I just read another topic about ENFPs and sadness, and I think my problem is that I'm not getting enough praise and affection. I'm not an attention whore or anything, but when I go a day almost entirely unnoticed, it makes me feel very sad. I love it when people approach ME and talk to me, but that hasn't been happening very lately. I've been the one taking all of the initiative, all day long.

  5. #5
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    I wouldn't call myself sad. It's more some kind of dissatisfaction. I have to reach several goals before I can be happy and somehow it's never enough. I'm always searching for that one thing that can make me the happiest person on earth, but I never find it. And when I think I found it, it disappoints me. When I reached that ultimate happiness, it never takes more than a week. Then I somehow always find myself new goals, which make me unsatisfied again. (Does this mean that I'm NOT and ENFP anymore? )
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
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    Quote Originally Posted by HotpinkHeatwave View Post
    Same, very much the same. I just read another topic about ENFPs and sadness, and I think my problem is that I'm not getting enough praise and affection. I'm not an attention whore or anything, but when I go a day almost entirely unnoticed, it makes me feel very sad. I love it when people approach ME and talk to me, but that hasn't been happening very lately. I've been the one taking all of the initiative, all day long.
    Yes! I relate! I have no problem at all taking initiative with other people, but if I have to keep doing it I feel like I'm not really appreciated, like I'm some kind of needy loser.

    I need attention and affection. I used to love being on stage, too.

  7. #7
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    I used to NEVER be sad...seriously hardly ever. Since my last break-up, I have done a lot of soul searching and realized how imperfect I really am and think about all of the mistakes I've made in my life (without even knowing it at the time). I think my rediculous optimism used to keep me happy and always moving forward. I have become more of a realist...reality is for the birds.

    I agree with you about the attention thing. I never needed to be the center of attention or get attention from a lot of people...but at least from one important person in my life (e.g. a boyfriend). Once I realized how dependent I was on the approval from others for a sense of self-worth and realized there was something essential was missing in me to feel that way, it was like someone punched me in the stomach. I now know why a feel that way based on my childhood, I am just not sure how to "fix" it. It's crazy-making.

    I wish I had some sound advice for you, unfortunately I don't. Hopefully, someone does...for both of us.
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  8. #8
    Senior Member mr.awesome's Avatar
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    dont bash me cause im not an enfp and i cant associate exactly with you folk, but my very close friend is an enfp. she seems to get bummed quite a bit. the strange thing about her sadness is that as the extrovert she is, she keeps herself so isolated and withdrawn when shes sad.
    not saying this is a trait for enfp's. just that is how this specific person reacts to sadness.
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  9. #9
    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    yea there's times i feel sad, but usually ill go drinking w buddies, going out, and the excitement of meeting girls and hooking up keeps me from getting too down. i think its because im a guy its different because this involves more the chase fun, while for a girl it is a different kind of fun where u are waiting for the guy. mine is easier to match to my mood at my discretion...

    when i do have those moments of sadness and i don't go out, i end up chilling in my room and listening to 80's 90's songs that i grew up to. lolz that totally makes me like revitalize and stuff.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    I only get sad when I have a specific problem. I can get some of that "dissatisfaction" feeling sometimes though, but I suspect nowhere near as often as enneagram type 7 ENFPs.

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