that's awful Fe. like how i feel when an esfj approaches me at work in just the most ridiculous, do you fucking know me at all
kind of way???!!! i make a joke about it at this point, something like, so _____..., what made you think that
was a good idea?
i don't think it encompasses what Fe has to be at all. it's exactly the same kind of pigeon-holing that gets done with Fi. the way many people use Fe, one of its primary strategies, is off-putting, yes. esfjs are by far my most difficult type to get along with. and i'm an Fe person. second most difficult is estps with tertiary Fe. i get the same inauthentic warning bells (it's bc what i see as obvious, they see as sneaky, that i can see you coming from a mile away/see right thru you feeling). but Fe is so many things. it's always combined with Ti, and it can't really exist without some Ti support to give it a story. which turns it into a kind of game, why Fe-Ti people can seem very flirtatious, challenging, coy, etc. they love to push buttons. with Ni it changes very drastically from Si, bc it is much more able to auto-associate and find relationships that fit the situation more accurately, re-frame, see more angles, etc. it's much more hand-tailored communication, rhetorically savvy, self-aware, and quirky. it doesn't feel quite so saved by the bell. it can interpolate, blend, and imagine new possibilities, try on new styles, new approaches, and generally be more inventive and more adaptive when learning. gets the gist of things more quickly.
Fe does feel like it wants to probe and explore. seymour's ping analogy is pretty good, altho it doesn't explain everything. it is part of Fe as an extroverted process, but i feel like extroverted processes can still be somewhat passive. when i was younger i struggled not being able to turn Fe off, only getting Fe one way. i am an introvert, and until the last couple of years, i was like 98% introverted. i would never initiate anything. i wouldn't say hello to anyone unless they said hello to me first. then it was hit-or-miss as to whether i'd respond. but i'd still be getting information, i'd still be paying attention to gestures, the language of emotion, absorbing it, hearing its exchange all around me like music. i just could see what was being conveyed, and i could imagine what was underneath, and it drove me fucking mad bc they never connected in a way that didn't disturb me. i was VERY judgy, dismissive, and cynical as a result. i trusted no one, and felt disgusted by everyone. the withdrawn types are still more observers. and with that said, the instinctual energies often make a big difference in this regard too. blackcat has pointed out to me that he rarely meshes with so doms, which i find to be a very damn good point. i just retract immediately, bc there's no investment. that's not just Fe, that's so dom. and often e2s and e3s, which is not in itself wrong, it just clashes with us withdrawn types (e4, e5, e9), especially the sx and sp types who are very focused on their inner life and intense expression of their experience.