as far as the "drama queen" thing, i don't see that as an accurate reading of what people criticize in Fi. i think people feel more condescended upon when Fi (via Ne) feels so self-assured that they know the TRUE meaning of what is going on, the emotional truth of the situation for you (even more than you do) or for others. they feel like their emotional resonances ARE the truth that is happening elsewhere in others. while, if you ask them, they may say that everyone has their own truth immediately, and that they more than anyone else are protecting that truth, it doesn't feel like it to the other person/people. i don't know why this is. you can just see the assumptions, even if it is not rooted in action. but, as udog pointed out, this is a way of using Fi more than it is just the default nature of Fi. just like not all intps are arrogant pricks.
an infp girl i know at work is extremely judgmental, and EVERYONE at work except for me feels condescended upon. i disarm her and say something snappy back1, but at the same time, she trusts me more than them bc we are friends, recognize a far deeper value-set than most people can see, communicate well, etc. i have interest in understanding her and learning about her values, just bc i want to understand her and learn about her values.
1 this is where i also see that, hey, it's work, i don't give a fuck about what these people think of me, they don't share my values anyway so i'll just ignore them, avoid them, occasionally snap at them, block them outetc. but why? people notice. she's interesting, occasionally she lets down her guard and likes it. why force yourself to become an outcast unnecessarily? why ostracize yourself? all introverted function dominants want to think that their internal experience is the greatest thing ever (Ti, Fi, i sure do with my Ni, etc <--- me perhaps being condescending toward Si), but sharing it with the community is a necessary step. i don't see the only expression of Fi as going up in a kamikaze flame.)
picking up again, the condescension is related to the way he describes his experience of Fi. he feels as if, when he walks into a room, he knows what's really going on. some truth that others do not see, recognize, have access to, that is in fact the crucial determining factor in all the events, the true meaning of the events and expressions, that unfold. in some cases, it IS the best, most telling way of interpreting, but in many others it is not. this is just like Fe is the worst fucking way/awareness for writing research papers, it provides nothing and i'd much rather use Ti, Te, or Fi for that purpose. Fi and Fe can revise, but i find Fi to be a much better revising process, much more of a reasoning process, i just use Fe to learn the song by ear and know what's right, it's completely uncritical and relies on me picking up the voice of the words and imagining that more than reasoning what fits, what matters, etc. embodying the language-style, which is a kind of "either you've got it or you don't" kind of thing, which sucks when you don't really have it yet. altho my friend tells me has to become invested in that way of writing and speaking so much so that now, when he hears butchered language, it depresses him. bc the whole body complex of Fi is a physical stress.
Fi says it knows what you're feeling, and what your tangled web of values is, so it knows what's going on as a result. it knows the feeling truths around it. it is the best function at this, but this doesn't provide the whole of the situation any more than Ti does (which has the best access to the story of the events, which is a different kind of plot/non-character truth governing what causes what) or other functions. whereas Ni would consider all ways of framing the scene, understanding it in different contextualizations, angles, etc. but the point is that without Ti, my ability to do this is highly scattered and may rest on nothing accurate. there's no error-checking. Fi or Ti that is 100% dogmaticallly my values are my subjective truth and you can't do anything about it don't communicate their insights or allow their internal awarenesses to be feedbacked properly, nor do they allow their Fi to begin to poke its head out and leak into the world. it needs to allow itself to be checked and balanced by other functions both internally AND externally to blend into a greater awareness. i'm sure Si is supportive in the sense that it says, wait! are you sure the details are right? is this the same situation as the one you experienced? what is the same and different? etc, which, with open Ne finding possibilities, would help focus them again and provide really good information for Fi to refine itself and know the emotional world as well as it can be known (which is obviously possible when you meet an infp who seems to have their shit figured out).
also, for me, i think infjs ARE as empty of Fi as she says. i don't believe Fi operates for me at a conscious or unconscious level. i see it nowhere in myself. i have to find alternate ways to know myself and become in touch with my values. it's just how my awareness blends together, Fi is a huge blind spot that i definitely need help dealing with in a skillful way. in all really paramount matters of decision-making, i feel inadequate bc i just don't KNOW. and this way of knowing doesn't seem to get better, there's nothing there to learn and grow. it's just that i have to use other awarenesses to kind of make up for it and approach differently. bc it's just not there for me.
this is why, when uncentered like her (tho i'm never that bad), i start missing the other person. just not really hearing him/her, skipping around all over the place, the Fe gestures start to get off and just feel gross and horribly misplaced/guided, it's just a fucking trainwreck. bc i'm not aware of how my own emotional state is affecting me at all, what i'm feeling, that would give me information needed to get my shit under control. i just start projecting and as the context falls apart my Fe just looks more stranded and helpless and unpracticed. as an e5, it's about my biggest fear in the world. bc i agree, it's pretty horrific to watch.