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[INFJ] When an INFJ doorslams you / cuts you out of their life / breaks off contact

BalanceFind

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Nov 9, 2011
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And if you ask them to clearly explain their thoughts and tell you what the hell is wrong, they can't (or won't) do it, and usually answer with plain insults.

It depends. Everyone is an individual and has different levels and types of communication. But generally, being able to speak up directly more timely, in a calm, rational, non-self-absorbed way will go a long way. Even just part of the time. For me, a calm, verbal conversation that is a combo of facts, logic, and feelings combined is preferred. Even direct written communication is good.

It's a give and take on both sides in regards to communication, what, when, how, style. Problems occur when communication is too one sided in one person'a preferred way only.

In regards to your other post, nobody ever wins a fight of any kind in my opinion.
 

Ivy

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This used to be a thread where everyone, INFJs included, could discuss what a doorslam is, how/why it happens, whether there is a chance it might be reversed in the future, etc. It seems like lately it's the "we are going to complain about specific mean bitchy INFJ wimmins, imagine that our scenarios also apply to you, and you just need to take it- if your reply is not an apology, don't bother" thread.

I'm not an INFJ by the way. So this isn't about me not being able to see my own flaws or some such bullshit as that.
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
I bet if I met an INFJ vampire it would be doubly hilarious to doorslam them.
 

Starry

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This used to be a thread where everyone, INFJs included, could discuss what a doorslam is, how/why it happens, whether there is a chance it might be reversed in the future, etc. It seems like lately it's the "we are going to complain about specific mean bitchy INFJ wimmins, imagine that our scenarios also apply to you, and you just need to take it- if your reply is not an apology, don't bother" thread.

I'm not an INFJ by the way. So this isn't about me not being able to see my own flaws or some such bullshit as that.

I have wondered if it would be appropriate to split-the-thread... Maybe merging it with BalanceFind's original thread...but have felt uncomfortable suggesting that because I don't feel it is a determination I alone can make. But the thread has definitely taken a turn from what I remember it being.
 

Z Buck McFate

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I am a very perceptive person. But the biggest problem is I can't read your mind. Sometimes some infj's expect you to read their minds. That's not realistic and it's not going to happen much of the time. I could be your dream guy, soulmate, you name it, but you still must speak up in a timely fashion. Finding some balance in this is essential for infj's in my opinion. People like me can do our best to anticipate and understand and communicate indirectly, but only part of the time.

One thing I learned through experience was to not walk on egg shells, as long as i didn't deserve to do so. Then the infj comes around or I move on. If I deserve it, then i will walk on egg shells as deserved and try to make up for it.

I'm actually going to agree with you on this one. I've gotten pissed about this one myself- with a couple INFJ friends, when it was clear something was wrong- getting them to talk about it was like squeezing water from a stone. I know from experience that it's often difficult to articulate when something feels wrong- but I also know that if I don't make someone important enough to even try, I certainly don't expect them to make me important enough to put up with the weird 'walking on eggshells' bit.

edit: Yeah, +1 for thread split. I seem to remember there actually being dialogue at some point earlier in the thread.
 

Starry

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edit: Yeah, +1 for thread split. I seem to remember there actually being dialogue at some point earlier in the thread.

I no longer remember what dialogue is. I had to come to terms with the possibility it didn't exist...so I could move forward.
 

Z Buck McFate

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I no longer remember what dialogue is. I had to come to terms with the possibility it didn't exist...so I could move forward.


OMG!! The ENP/INJ thing is happening again!!! (LOL.)

I vote that we keep Saturned's very germaine doorslamming questions/comments in the thread though. Cos people should know what to do especially if the INFJ is a vampire. Or if they want to know how to doorslam a thread.
 

Starry

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OMG!! The ENP/INJ thing is happening again!!! (LOL.)

I vote that we keep Saturned's very germaine doorslamming questions/comments in the thread though. Cos people should know what to do especially if the INFJ is a vampire. Or if they want to know how to doorslam a thread.

Haha...you were keeping the possibility of dialogue returning to this thread 'internally alive' weren't you!

It is important to know how the doorslam may differ if your INFJ is a vampire.

haha (edit)...I do need to say that I'm so tired I don't even really know what I'm saying anymore. But my INFJ may have...in fact...been a vampire.
 

SilkRoad

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Are INFJs prone to vampirism? *checks self for fangs*
 

Z Buck McFate

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Oh man, if someone needs to doorslam an INFJ vampire, but all doors are on the lam.....they'll never find how to take care of it in time if they have to read through all this extra stuff. Splitting this thread could save lives.
 

SilkRoad

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You have to admit though that if all publicity is good publicity, this thread is doing wonders for the INFJ brand.
 

Starry

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Oh man, if someone needs to doorslam an INFJ vampire, but all doors are on the lam.....they'll never find how to take care of it in time if they have to read through all this extra stuff. Splitting this thread could save lives.

haha! *side ache*

You have to admit though that if all publicity is good publicity, this thread is doing wonders for the INFJ brand.

INFJs are very popular. It's a shame there's only like 40 of you currently on the planet.
 

SilkRoad

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In fact, I think this thread could become the Nancy Kerrigan/Tonya Harding moment of "INFJ"... Sordid, but great for the ratings.
 

SilkRoad

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INFJs are very popular. It's a shame there's only like 40 of you currently on the planet.

And about half of us are vampires. If you stub a toe on our rock hard, freezing cold, sparkly pectorals, you might break it!!
 
A

Anew Leaf

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I'd stake my reputation on the fact that you can still doorslam an INFJ vampire sans doors so long as you don't let them in.
 

Z Buck McFate

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It's a shame there's only like 40 of you currently on the planet.

But fortunately, there are a lot of doors.


I'd stake my reputation on the fact that you can still doorslam an INFJ vampire sans doors so long as you don't let them in.

This is why I'm saying, we need to keep Saturned's posts in this thread.



edit: Also, it's true, what SilkRoad said, about half of us being vampires.
 
N

NPcomplete

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I'd stake my reputation on the fact that you can still doorslam an INFJ vampire sans doors so long as you don't let them in.

Did you ... just raise the stakes?

*preemptively dusts self in silver dust*
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
I also really appreciate that this thread is in the NF Idyllic. It makes the universe better.

But would you swallow...

*puts shades on*

...your pride?

This question makes no sense for if I was an INFJ vampire and we were having an intimate chat then it would be at night and therefore you would not need shades on... UNLESS..... you're this guy:

album-the-best-of-corey-hart.jpg


:ohmy:
 
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