BalanceFind
New member
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2011
- Messages
- 144
I appreciate the input, and not offense to you, but you don't have an accurate characterization of the relationship.
I had a healthy relationship with this person for a long time. I didn't spoil this person with money. I've been very clear, that this person and I have had a 50/50 relationship financially. We both paid and contributed equally, over 9 years, on and off. Only at the end, did this person get overly financially indulgent. And, this person spent all of her own money first. It wasn't a master plan scam. The end result may appear that way to others and feel that way to me, but it wasn't the original plan of hers.
I'm very responsible with money. And, much of the time, so is she. Though, she isn't, always. This property was and is an excellent long term investment. That isn't the issue or question for either of us. I'm not extravagant with money. I live within my means.
I think you may have a misunderstanding regarding extravagance, self-indulgence etc...and what are considered small, medium, large, compared to one's individual means. I've repeatedly said this person spent 50/50 with me on daily life. This person was and is very independent, educated, successful professionally, etc.. You haven't been reading my posts very closely if you think I'm a sugar daddy.
I'm not wondering why my relationships have failed. ?
Infj's are providing feedback here, as are other personality types too. All are welcome.
I've done much self-reflection.
I've mentioned from the beginning that I exhibit characteristics of both an Entp and enfp. I am not seeking feedback on that. I know who I am good, bad and indifferent. When I was younger, as in growing up as a kid, I was more of an Estp/Esfp type. I know myself well, good, bad, and indifferent.
This situation for me is about doorslams, in particular with infj types. And fedback was sought from both infj types and other types, here, about them...as well as sharing my experience.
I have a couple of weeks before I am flying to this other country. I will be going to my house, with other people. I will be meeting with attorneys. I will be meeting with friends. I'm unable to go there for a couple of weeks.
I chose originally to wait the 5 months for multiple reasons. I chose self-restraint, one of the healthier aspects of my types. I was patient. I didn't know if her actions were temporary or not. It would have been difficult for me to turn right around to go back there. I then chose during the Holidays, to spend them with some family. I still own the house with her. The house, isn't going anywhere. It's a few months longer than I normally would like in terms of going back there. I had some other things to take care of and did so.
As I stated before, I'm the type of person who takes care of problems right away, as objectively as possible, for the best benefit for all. But I understand it takes others more time to sort through thoughts, feelings, etc...so I waited for that. But what I've come to conclude is that she isn't doing those things. She has been avoiding reality, not working on it with the time and space given. So, reality will now come to her.
Thx for the feedback.
I had a healthy relationship with this person for a long time. I didn't spoil this person with money. I've been very clear, that this person and I have had a 50/50 relationship financially. We both paid and contributed equally, over 9 years, on and off. Only at the end, did this person get overly financially indulgent. And, this person spent all of her own money first. It wasn't a master plan scam. The end result may appear that way to others and feel that way to me, but it wasn't the original plan of hers.
I'm very responsible with money. And, much of the time, so is she. Though, she isn't, always. This property was and is an excellent long term investment. That isn't the issue or question for either of us. I'm not extravagant with money. I live within my means.
I think you may have a misunderstanding regarding extravagance, self-indulgence etc...and what are considered small, medium, large, compared to one's individual means. I've repeatedly said this person spent 50/50 with me on daily life. This person was and is very independent, educated, successful professionally, etc.. You haven't been reading my posts very closely if you think I'm a sugar daddy.
I'm not wondering why my relationships have failed. ?
Infj's are providing feedback here, as are other personality types too. All are welcome.
I've done much self-reflection.
I've mentioned from the beginning that I exhibit characteristics of both an Entp and enfp. I am not seeking feedback on that. I know who I am good, bad and indifferent. When I was younger, as in growing up as a kid, I was more of an Estp/Esfp type. I know myself well, good, bad, and indifferent.
This situation for me is about doorslams, in particular with infj types. And fedback was sought from both infj types and other types, here, about them...as well as sharing my experience.
I have a couple of weeks before I am flying to this other country. I will be going to my house, with other people. I will be meeting with attorneys. I will be meeting with friends. I'm unable to go there for a couple of weeks.
I chose originally to wait the 5 months for multiple reasons. I chose self-restraint, one of the healthier aspects of my types. I was patient. I didn't know if her actions were temporary or not. It would have been difficult for me to turn right around to go back there. I then chose during the Holidays, to spend them with some family. I still own the house with her. The house, isn't going anywhere. It's a few months longer than I normally would like in terms of going back there. I had some other things to take care of and did so.
As I stated before, I'm the type of person who takes care of problems right away, as objectively as possible, for the best benefit for all. But I understand it takes others more time to sort through thoughts, feelings, etc...so I waited for that. But what I've come to conclude is that she isn't doing those things. She has been avoiding reality, not working on it with the time and space given. So, reality will now come to her.
Thx for the feedback.
First of all, I've been checking this thread and felt [MENTION=14749]BalanceFind[/MENTION] seem not be able to move on and straighten out the legal matter as that seems to be on his first priority now.
I somehow suspect what kind of relationship this really is. It seems to me that you're spoiling her with money even if you're not happy with her extravagant spendings. What confuses me further is that it seems one of the cornerstone of this relationship is all stemmed from financial support. I think you tried hard to explain the whole picture and the problems you've been facing, yet I still felt that some parts of puzzle is missing.
And I suppose you have a hard time accepting the fact that she had doorslammed you after providing all supports for her. Though I'm suspicious of if this is a healthy relationship to begin with. Are you both attached before forming this relationship? Anyhow, if you want advice from INFJs, I think most of us had offered you, even though you seem not to accept it fully as more new background stories have been piling up.
It's quite sad to see someone to go through in a denial out of resentment. Though I think if you really wonder why your relationships have failed, I would suggest you to invest some time of self-reflection through introspection on your mistakes from this doomed relationship. Perhaps it'll help you to avoid following the same pattern in ruining your next romance.
On a side note, I felt you resemble more of an ENTP under stressed mode rather than ENFP. Also, I've learned a lot from reading ENP/INJ's POV that's derived from your dilemma.