The above posts are good examples. One talks about time and space. In my example, 5 months is a ton of time and space. It's very unrealistic imo for an infj to think he/she could get more time than that or even that much time considering the things on the table in my specific situation. It's as if the infj wants to to disappear and sometimes years later he/she will come back and sometimes no. This actually sounds a little like my infj. We've known each other 9 years, but in the very beginning each of us did that...two separate times total, walked away and came back. But I consider that type way different, not knowing each other that long etc..
I wouldn't be able to go back to a relationship like mine any longer, even if she today came to me and wanted to make everything better. I'd still help her, non-financially forever, on my time and terms, but that's it.
The 2nd example above talks about fear of confrontation, or stalking or different terms....and that's a good topic too. In my experience, the situation is much different. I'm very understanding that I am a guy and she isn't. I sat and waited 5 months where she was allowed the benefit of the doubt and allowed to get her way....and a lot of that had to do with her being a woman. Again, I was wrong to not confront her and the situation as soon as possible 5 months ago. ...doing so in a professional manner...other situations are very different of course. It all depends.
For me, there was value in trying to figure out what was real and what was manipulation. And, a lot of it is so I didn't keep making mistakes with the same person and that I can better limit them in the future. There's value to the recipient of door slams and or manipulation, to get facts, to understand what was and is true and not. On the end, in this situation for example, because she didn't check in, she made big huge mistakes in assumptions. She assumed the worst of me because she thought, well if she hurts me, I must be going around hurting her or saying bad things about her. It stunned her to find out that didn't happen. It didn't change her actions as she didn't re-visit anything but it definitely shocked her. Gotta check in to know facts and what's real or not. Sometimes simple in person conversations can clear up a lot of confusion.
If an infj door slams, and gets no check in reference points of facts, an infj can get into his/her own head, and in my case, memories and thoughts were confused and mixed from different people, different times etc...
Another thing I mentioned was the rapid fire of comments/complaints, some of which were from so long ago, and some factual incorrect. To someone else, for example, let's say you have a problem many years prior, and the infj never says anything, ...it's a lose/lose because the infj suffers silently a long time and sulks...and never properly let's go of that complaint...and often times that complaint then becomes far bigger than what reality deserves. It doesn't mean it isn't important or valuable. The other non infj suffers because this becomes a secretive grudge unnecessarily. My first thought and reaction to myself was, what? 9 years ago is 9 years ago. Then I'd think, okay, I'm willing to sit down and go over that issue and make it better for both as best as possible and move on....but I find that sometimes infj's prefer to hold on to that "pain" if you will for some sort of power. My response then would increasingly be that I was and am willing to process that tpic in depth, come to agreement and keep moving forward. Life doesn't stop, it keeps moving forward. Maybe there is value to others here with what I'm saying, maybe not.
Solving problems is something I do....it doesn't mean molding or fixing people. I leave people alone to find their own way unless they ask for specific help or strategy. So, for example, an infj can be him or herself, but there can also be problems outside of the personal scope that need to be addressed. ....If I ever get new information that conflicts with what I know, I'm willing to re-visit a situation again and again....life is forever changing...it's something I don't understand about infj's. It isn't productive for anyone, if you make a decision, realize it's wrong but stick with it because you don't re-visit things. Forgiveness or lackthereof is also a big one.
In the end, if you lie, steal, cheat, and intentionally hurt, exploit, and or manipulate others, I don't think twice about protecting myself or others. I don't care what our relationship was or wasn't. I don't care if you are a woman and I am a man. You will suffer the consequences. And, because I'm relatively healthy, I'm not interested in revenge. No I don't care about you/the one who did harm in the process. I only care about the truth, and protecting and restoring justice to those who were hurt. Walking away and doing nothing is never something I would do. I have too much respect for myself for that.
Will there be a messy confrontation with a lot of people? Quite possibly. If the other person, an infj in this situation is unhealthy and or unstable, the reaction will be volatile and unpredictable....but what do I care...that's the way it's been for 5 months, 5months too long.