and here's the kicker - we both felt like doormats, we both ended up resenting each other.
we even both failed each other's testing:
this is going to sound crude, and it is, but there was a point towards the end where i really pressed her to get a BJ that started and ended as a BJ, all i wanted was just one time, where it wouldn't be foreplay, wouldn't be finishing something that started otherwise, wouldn't be 69.. just a BJ. she didn't understand why - she knew it took me longer and i seem to enjoy it less then sex, and i really do enjoy it a lot less then sex, but at that point it felt like she always had her reasons not to do anything that i asked for or told her would make me happy, and i just wanted her to do one thing for me that was entirely for me, one thing to please me that she was doing.
there was a point where she pressed on me quitting smoking, and i was struggling with it, 5 clean days here, 3 clean days there, again and again, but it was a constant war for me, and i felt she wasn't supporting me with it or showing any understanding towards it - which given that she never held any addictions i suppose she really didn't.... and she felt i wasn't making enough sacrifices.
in the same times i didn't feel the sacrifices that i was making where appreciated... i was constantly trying to get us to actually get time together with her nightshifts, and i haven't being that sleep deprived since i served in the second israel-lebanon war (which was much shorter), i was constantly missing my family and friends, she knew i was extraverted by nature and new i needed it and a context to meet people in the city, but i felt she wasn't willing to help me out or at least be patient with any household related stuff so that i might have time to devote towards building myself a social context, and after having anything i asked for declined so many times i didn't even feel comfortable asking for that for so long and by the time i did she has already decided to breakup and took that opportunity to tell me...
so that was our last 5 months: she was constantly hungry, i was constantly tired, i felt she wasn't willing to do anything, she felt i wasn't willing to sacrifice anything...and we each felt very lonely. there was no tribe by the end.