She thinks withdrawing, feelings, come first, when, they don't. Reality comes first.
I walked on egg shells when in hindsight, I didn't need or deserve to do so. Then came the door slam. Then came the space and patience. Then came an offer from me for a positive, win/win deal. Next after still being ignored is heavy legal pressure, which I know doesn't go over well with infj's. Too bad.
Infj's don't get to call all the shots and make all of the decisions. All relationships in life are 50/50.
In my experience, when infj's take the focus off of self they do much better, generally speaking. As is the case with some other types.
I can tell you that the time has been the worst thing for me. The time has lessened and lessened my interest and remorse. Space is fine, but after a long period I lose interest. Or, after frequent brief walking on egg shells periods, I lose interest. I prefer balance, sometimes spontaneity, or ability to live in the moment in healthy way. I love the quiet strength, the depth, the intuition. But that balance of being spontaneous sometimes, in the moment, helps too.
As I have stated, my infj is 4w3. I am really struggling to handle the avg and low levels of 3. The ruthlessness is pretty staggering.
Compromise, compromise, compromise. Re-visiting decisions after the fact, especially poor ones. Forgiveness of self and others. Not walking through life thinking you are a victim, thinking that is your identity, nope. Perfectionism, nope.
Losing balance in the above can cause a lot of problems for self and others.