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  1. #601
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    your asking what's wrong from not seen the other side in your relationships? your asking what's wrong with not learning how your own actions affect people from perspectives other then your own so that you can recognize potential mistakes that might not apear to be obviously so from your initial perspective and thus learn from them and grow as a person?

    meh, absolutely nothing.
    It's entirely possible to consider their perspective, find it abhorrent, and block it to protect yourself. It's a valid and very human tendency. Like my mama always said: be open minded, but not so open minded that your brain falls out.

  2. #602
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peguy View Post
    That's going beyond merely trying to understand what happened between you and your wife in my view.
    huh? they addressed my theory so i responded to that, very little addressed anyting i said about my relationship with my wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    If someone is stomping all over my boundaries and causing me stress to the point that I dread having contact with them, then I am not close to that person even if they think they are close to me.
    see by opening up to their perspective you might actually be able to consider what caused them to "stomp all over your boundaries", can they be just douchebags you never realized when you got close to them in the first place? perhaps, or maybe you set a pretex by crossing theirs, or maybe you didn't express your boundaries well enough, or maybe you unintentionally gave them the impression that the boundaries changed... there are a lot of possibilities, learning from them will be a hell of a fertilizer as far as your capacity to handle relationship goes, doorslamming them just means you'll blind yourself to the reasons.

  3. #603
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    huh? they addressed my theory so i responded to that, very little addressed anyting i said about my relationship with my wife.
    That's been my impression from glancing through the past 20 pages or so.

    In anycase I'm done with you.

  4. #604
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peguy View Post
    That's been my impression from glancing through the past 20 pages or so.
    seriously the one thing i did say was that she doorslammed me because she felt i publically humiliated her by talking about her, wtf would make you think this is what i'd be doing here? some people are able to recognize their own mistakes.

  5. #605
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    I wanted to participate, but I think I've never met an INFJ in real life.
    Do they really exist in the wild?
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  6. #606
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Now I just wish Mane's INFJ ex had doorslammed him earlier. She definintely doesn't deserve to spend time with someone who doesn't value other's (and her own) perspectives.

  7. #607
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    I wanted to participate, but I think I've never met an INFJ in real life.
    Do they really exist in the wild?
    hahaha, rare but existing... and can be very different from those here.

    i think their are many added filter layers here - the INFJs who'll get tested by themselves or at work and move on, INFJs who'll get into the MBTI for whatever reason - such as understanding their relationships with people of one type or another - and the INFJs who'll get into it for the reason of bonding with other INFJs, the INFJs who'll view that as a tribal bond, and the INFJs who'll come in defense of their typological tribe when they feel it's "assaulted"...

    this doesn't represent the INFJ diversity at large.

  8. #608
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    hahaha, rare but existing... and can be very different from those here.
    Cool.
    i think their are many added filter layers here - the INFJs who'll get tested by themselves or at work and move on, INFJs who'll get into the MBTI for whatever reason - such as understanding their relationships with people of one type or another - and the INFJs who'll get into it for the reason of bonding with other INFJs, the INFJs who'll view that as a tribal bond, and the INFJs who'll come in defense of their typological tribe when they feel it's "assaulted"...
    Hah, I've seem most of those!
    this doesn't represent the INFJ diversity at large.
    You bet....:p(don't take it too seriously though)
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  9. #609
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post
    Now I just wish Mane's INFJ ex had doorslammed him earlier. She definintely doesn't deserve to spend time with someone who doesn't value other's (and her own) perspectives.
    ...perspectives can be wrong, it can be uncomfortable at times, but its why we put it to the test by debating it with others - which is what i did with my perspective here. you have every bit of room to argue and reason against my perspective and fine tune both by contrasting it with your own.

    as for the whole "believe in my conclusions or you dont respect me" BS, best described from the outside by another INFJ:
    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post
    The hardest part of it is that they truly believe you don’t love/respect them if you don’t believe them (even though their beliefs are mistaken AND hurtful to you). It’s really twisted. I may be way off about Arc's experience being similar- all I know is the stuff he's posted here & there- it's just that the comments hit a familiar nerve to me.
    please, none of that.

    as for my wife, since you seem so interested, while at earlier stages of life it's entirely acceptable to doorslam someone because you don't like their hair as far as your right's go, in our case we raised our son together, concieved before i met her but mine in every other possible way, which makes the situation a little bit different. so if you really really want to go into personal aspects, you might want to stand for the traits your tribe is known for rather then "stand in it's defense".

    and btw - this:
    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    also, i would be grateful if you can keep it civil and avoid snide remarks about my marriage unless they are backedup with actual insight. there's already a member of this little INFJ front who has degraded herself into trolling outside of this thread, if you want to stand in defense of INFJ doorslammers you might consider trying to do so with dignity.
    was for you.

  10. #610
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    I DOORSLAMMING

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