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  1. #591
    Sniffles
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    Yeah I'm beginning to see why Mane got doorslammed in the past.

  2. #592
    Senior Member Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    Yeah, um, when I said "I'm not even remotely capable of it", I was talking more about the insane accusations and violent spurts of rage and using someone as my whipping boy- not so much the cutting off communication part. If you're even trying to equate them, then we're done here.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

    5w4 sx/sp Johari / Nohari

  3. #593
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Here's a hint- when we doorslam someone, it means we're not close anymore. And haven't been for some time..
    ...that's called drifitng apart.

  4. #594
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    ...that's called drifitng apart.
    No, drifting apart is when both people move away from each other. There are other ways to become not-close. If I am contemplating breaking off contact with someone because they are consuming me, we are not drifting apart. They're driving me away.

  5. #595
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    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post
    Yeah, um, when I said "I'm not even remotely capable of it", I was talking more about the insane accusations and violent spurts of rage and using someone as my whipping boy- not so much the cutting off communication part. If you're even trying to equate them, then we're done here.
    i am saying that in both cases your blocking yourself from seen the other person's perspective.

    Quote Originally Posted by Peguy View Post
    Yeah I'm beginning to see why Mane got doorslammed in the past.
    funny.
    see, you think that it might offend me because it protrays me as doorslam worthy.
    but its actually offensive because of the very suggestion that the woman i married is so dimwitted she could take a rational argument she's uncomfortable and drive it into a negative judgement of the argument's source.

  6. #596
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    No, drifting apart is when both people move away from each other. There are other ways to become not-close. If I am contemplating breaking off contact with someone because they are consuming me, we are not drifting apart. They're driving me away.
    so your not close and havent being for a long time because they are "consuming you"... nice, but metaphors make it easy to vilianize and justify pretty much everything. might saying what does "consuming you" mean?

  7. #597
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    What's wrong with blocking yourself from someone's perspective? IMO that's just called "being discriminating about with whom I spend my time/energy." It just seems like basic life 101 to use my critical thinking skills to recognize when someone has (or develops) a perspective that is incompatible with mine.

  8. #598
    Sniffles
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    funny.
    see, you think that it might offend me because it protrays me as doorslam worthy.
    You can see it however you wish. From my viewpoint, you're arguing a point ad nauseam and being rather rude to many of the INFJs who've taken the time and energy to address your arguments and concerns. That's going beyond merely trying to understand what happened between you and your wife in my view. You don't seem to be listening at all to what we're telling you.

  9. #599
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    so your not close and havent being for a long time because they are "consuming you"... nice, but metaphors make it easy to vilianize and justify pretty much everything. might saying what does "consuming you" mean?
    If someone is stomping all over my boundaries and causing me stress to the point that I dread having contact with them, then I am not close to that person even if they think they are close to me. And I don't have to justify my decision to cut off contact to the person I'm cutting off contact with. I don't need their permission to choose who I associate with.

  10. #600
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    What's wrong with blocking yourself from someone's perspective?
    your asking what's wrong from not seen the other side in your relationships? your asking what's wrong with not learning how your own actions affect people from perspectives other then your own so that you can recognize potential mistakes that might not apear to be obviously so from your initial perspective and thus learn from them and grow as a person?

    meh, absolutely nothing.

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