User Tag List

First 545535455565765105155 Last

Results 541 to 550 of 1696

  1. #541

    Default

    I don't have a problem with exclusion. I have a healthy self-esteem. I have no doubt others may have more trouble with that. I have a problem when one person, regardless of type thinks he/she can dictate all action and all consequences. There are and always will be consequences to every action in life. The problem I have is when someone thinks the rules don't apply to him/her.

    As an Entp/Enfp, I get it just fine. I hate many rules. However, there are some simple, basic ones that are universally applicable to all. ... such as stealing on my case. If you steal, others will come after you and take back what you stole, at minimum. That comes first, relentless pursuit of that. Then we can talk about feelings all you want.

    Nope, my type and similar types move on quickly when we are no longer wanted or appreciated. I look in mirror one time and ask myself have I done my best. If that answer is yea, my best is always good enough for me. I am more than willing to help a troubled person, but on my terms, after I get my money.

  2. #542
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    949

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    Esoteric brought this up, but to expect an IxxJ to continuously 'float' without requiring and working towards closure is the same as expecting an ExxP to reach definitive decision points/closure as a lifestyle. The two will always have inherently different approaches: it's what makes them vastly different. For myself, I don't 'expect' ExxP's to become like me.. it's just not fair to them and also would take away what makes them THEM. I also would only be with an ExxP if they were ok with how my primary preferences were: and I with them. The success between the two will only occur if both are in the end not trying to morph the other into someone they are not.
    +1 Very well said, @cascadeco. I don't think the IXXJ or the ExxP way is better when compared with the other. They are just different. Each approach has its strengths and weaknesses.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  3. #543

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Once someone proves to be a vampiristic piece of human sewage I have no further need to associate with them.
    Swing the axe. Now.

  4. #544

    Default

    I will always have the most respect for someone who tells me to my face that they no longer want to be in a relationship with me. Running away, hiding doesn't get my respect. Other types do this too. I would tell someone to their face as polite and respectful as possible, or as they deserved. Unless someone is worried about their personal safety with good reason, would I suggest otherwise.

    It has the least amount of confusion. It has the most amount of respect for another person.

  5. #545
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    949

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I think this is partially a J vs P difference. As has been said before, there is some relief in closure, particular when it is a relationship that saps a tremendous amount of emotional energy to no seeming purpose over a long period of time.

    Interestingly, I think that P types find it easier than I do to deal with unresolved stuff between them and another person if the answers truly are unavailable and they've come to terms with the fact that they won't get the answers they want. For me, I can get over something if I have some way of understanding what actually happened and can feel like I can close the chapter on it. In the absence of that, it takes me a lot longer to process the many possibilities of what went wrong (I think that's a Ni thing) and I also feel compelled to pick the most likely reason for their behaviour. I'd prefer that my guess be accurate and backed up by first hand information. If it is not though, I need some way to arrive at a conclusion and so substitute in what I think makes the most sense. In that way, I can let it go a lot better.

    So I do really understand the longing for answers and continued dialogue. I would like to answer YWIR and clarify that at least in my case, I don't use lack of contact for manipulative purposes or to try to prompt a particular response in the other person. By the time I am ready to do that, I either was not at all emotionally invested at first, or else I have invested so much and exhausted all possibilities that I can think of for improving the relationship that I no longer have any interest in continuing. By that time, it just doesn't matter anymore or I have lost hope completely.
    Fidelia, I found this very interesting. It's something I've never thought about before. It might be harder for a J-type to move on without a sense of closure than it would be for a P-type.

    This brings me back to my conclusion that so much of this doorslamming controversy is tied in with J versus P perspectives. Again, one way is not right and the other wrong. They both have their usefulness and their excesses. But, by gosh, the J way sure does "feel wrong" in my P gut. But that's what I've learned from MBTI. Not to let these gut, visceral reactions (that are driven by my own unique set of cognitive functions) drive my behavior.

    I don't see why all parties to this thread can't acknowledge this without letting things descend into angry posts.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  6. #546

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BalanceFind View Post
    I don't have a problem with exclusion. I have a healthy self-esteem. I have no doubt others may have more trouble with that. I have a problem when one person, regardless of type thinks he/she can dictate all action and all consequences. There are and always will be consequences to every action in life. The problem I have is when someone thinks the rules don't apply to him/her.

    As an Entp/Enfp, I get it just fine. I hate many rules. However, there are some simple, basic ones that are universally applicable to all. ... such as stealing on my case. If you steal, others will come after you and take back what you stole, at minimum. That comes first, relentless pursuit of that. Then we can talk about feelings all you want.

    Nope, my type and similar types move on quickly when we are no longer wanted or appreciated. I look in mirror one time and ask myself have I done my best. If that answer is yea, my best is always good enough for me. I am more than willing to help a troubled person, but on my terms, after I get my money.
    sounds neat
    the formless thing which gives things form!
    Found Forum Haiku Project


    Positive Spin | your feedback welcomed | Darker Criticism

  7. #547

    Default

    Nothing like trying to combine different comments out of context to advance an agenda.

  8. #548

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BalanceFind View Post
    Nothing like trying to combine different comments out of context to advance an agenda.
    okay...

    to readers swayed by an agenda
    ATTENTION!: "context" can be found from post #291 to about #405
    the formless thing which gives things form!
    Found Forum Haiku Project


    Positive Spin | your feedback welcomed | Darker Criticism

  9. #549
    Society
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    So I do really understand the longing for answers and continued dialogue.
    that's... actually interesting. question: do you respect the same need of the other person, and if so, how is what your doing is actually doorslamming?


    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I have invested so much and exhausted all possibilities that I can think of for improving the relationship that I no longer have any interest in continuing.
    in that case, which is honestly the only case i am interested in (doorslamming a preexisting deep relationship), do you allow for the options for them to come up with possibilities that you didn't think of (before and after the 'doorslamming')?

  10. #550

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post
    okay...

    to readers swayed by an agenda
    ATTENTION!: "context" can be found from post #291 to about #405
    I am 100 percent comfortable with my posts.

Similar Threads

  1. When any type other than INFJ doorslams you/cuts you out of their life
    By SilkRoad in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 02-03-2014, 11:26 PM
  2. [INFJ] INFJ Daily Life: Plans, Strangers,etc?
    By plaminal in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 11-13-2011, 12:13 AM
  3. [MBTItm] INFJ negotiating mid-life
    By Immaculate Cloud in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 03-21-2009, 09:04 PM
  4. [INFJ] INFJ, inner life a little too rich?
    By littledarling in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 02-18-2009, 02:23 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts