so why not ask her to do it for you? write a letter describing your PoV, how you feel about the situation, and tell her that if she wants to come back into your life she needs to come back with a solution that will work for both of you.
i don't know about her, but if my exwife did that to me i would be a million times greatful - by examining my mistakes i already came up with solutions to most of our problems and how to establish the conditions from which the trust that both sides have broken is allowed to regrow organically.
likewise, when i was a teen and a very good friend (INFJ) doorslammed me because she told me she had feelings for me and she got hurt by me not sharing those, i found a solution and wanted to introduce her to someone i thought she'd like, but she wouldn't let me past the door.
see, i think that's what bothers me most of all - i know that i will always find solutions eventually. why is it so wrong to demand patience?