I think what perpetually stuns me about this thread is that I don’t understand what people hope to get out of showing up with pedantic lectures because some INFJ wasn’t responsible for how their squirrely-ness negatively affected someone. Is it just a need to vent to someone? Or do you people really think you’re changing lives by lecturing about the ‘dangers of INFJ thinking’, because we’re all just one banana peel away from hurting the people we love? If you need to vent, then fine, *and* it’s probably a good idea to clarify that’s what’s going on.
@BalanceFind’s situation in particular sounds exceptionally sucky, and it’s more than unfortunate he has had to deal with it. I’m not trying to belittle the hurt anyone has experienced. The problematic here is that when posts are framed as ‘advice for INFJs’…..it’s kind of like writing an ‘advice for Christians’ post because of Michelle Bachman. Most of the Christians I personally know find her offensive, and so approaching them with ‘advice’ about the ‘dangers of Christianity’ is kind of like (1) watering a dead plant and (2) it’s offensive, because it’s presupposing that being a Christian means inherently lacking critical thought and probably having weaker moral fiber. It’s coming from a place of moral and intellectual superiority as a ‘non-Christian’. But venting to them about Michelle Bachman is another matter entirely.
I think my biggest issue with this thread is that it tends to invite people who are primarily interested in fixing ‘others’. Thales- presocratic philosopher- when asked what the most difficult possible thing for a person to do is, answered “To know oneself.” When asked what the easiest possible thing to do is, he answered “To give someone else advice.” One thing that is consistently true about INFJs- we consider the source when we are being told something. One thing that always makes a good impression on me- leads me to give a person credit and makes me want to understand their point of view- is when I see someone who takes responsibility for how they make others feel, when what they have to say consistently seems very wise to me and feels respectful. Some people just don’t *get* that it’s not as easy as showing up and saying “I’m respectful of others’ feelings” to convince me that they even begin to grasp what it means to be respectful of others’ feelings. AND something that tends to make me give less weight to someone’s opinion- at times, to the point where I don’t take much of anything they say seriously- is when they preach and preach about how others should take responsibility for how they make people feel yet seem to lack any direct/organic understanding of this ‘lesson’ themselves.