As I have stated, I've known several infj 4w3, as well as some infj 4w5 types. All of them are unique and different. All of them, also have some common characteristics of having similar types of personality.
I'm no different. I exhibit a lot of the common characteristics of the 8 and both wings. I think some people are healthier than others at different times of their lives. But, there are overlapping personality trait characteristics. People can have those commonalities within their typez, with other people, and still be an individual, unique unto themselves.
In my experience, the infp type is a 6. I don't want to stray towards that as a primary discussion but I would disagree there.
I came her for myself and my infj and for others specific to my situation. No doubt correct. As I stated, I'm willing come here among many other things to best approach my own situation and those of others involved, as well as directly or indirectly helping someone else unknown to me on here. I'm very comfortable with all of that. I'm comfortable with how I've posted and treated others here, as well as with the topics themselves.
To me infj's, and/or those who interact with infj's seemed like a good place to go for a variety of info and exchange. ...especially a door slam thread. I don't know of anyone in my daily life that has any familiarity with personality types and/or the enneagram.
As for stress, yes it is, maximum stress. As an 8 and Entp/Enfp type of person, I handle stress extremely well, with a very high tolerance for pain. It's come in handy. But everyone has their limits at some point.
I'm capable of putting myself into hypothetical situations that are not my own. And, even in the most extreme situations, a door slam still hurts the infj, let alone others. I can understand someone needing some time to oneself, as long as it is made clear to others. I can see someone leaving a situation permanently, as long as it were made clear to others. When someone isolates oneself, they have no choice but to start guessing. Guessing what others say, think, do. And vice versa with those other people. Often times it leads to bigger and bigger problems. An infj is forced to rely on the other person to not do anything, or to do something, and all of that becomes on the other person's terms. It's essentially giving up power, it's prolonging problems. It's a forever limbo. ...In my situation, it left open huge loose ends in many ways with many people. Feelings aren't facts. Feelings are important, very important. But facts are equally important. Logic and thinking have value too. No matter the person, if one gets to extreme in a particular way, bad things happen. They don't just resolve themselves and go away.
And, yes, it is somewhat difficult to understand why someone wouldn't just get tired and say, okay, let's sit down and help one another achieve the best result for everyone. That requires facing reality. If others don't confront, the longer it goes, the more reality gets skewed. If it wasn't something I couldn't walk away from, I'd have been long gone. I still would have told others the truth and exposed her. While those people weren't as important to me as she was, nowhere near, they still have value to me. Yes, it is not an ideal situation.