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[INFJ] When an INFJ doorslams you / cuts you out of their life / breaks off contact

BalanceFind

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Re-connecting with door slammers varies widely. I have read a lot from infj's here about leaving the door open sometimes. The problem with that is for some, it's too late.

In my situation of course, it's all about getting my stuff and moving on. I did say I would help her non-financially from a distance in the future after that and only after that.

A lot depends on type of door slam and what loose ends we're left or not and damage caused or not.

If there were no to little loose ends, reappearing down the road is much more plausible. Just because a door is left open slight sometimes, doesn't mean the other person wants to take it nor wants to go to the trouble to do the work.

Even if I had no loose ends, it is still 50/50 and not a non-infj rescuing an infj. It's not all about the infj, nor is it all about the other person either.

I can't speak for other non-infj's but for me, when loose ends exist, my feelings only harden more over time. When no loose ends exist, my type quickly moves on to other things in life and reappearing down the road is a 50/50 roll of dice for infj. If I am in relationship with someone else or even just beginning one, you don't have a chance. You also may not have a chance even if I'm single at the time of reappearance. But if I'm single and nothing bad happened previously, there is always a chance. But not a rescuer situation. The other person needs to be strong and independent. Previously I reconnected with my infj a few times over the years because we didn't have any past issues. My type is very open to that.
 
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i never wanted her to feel bad about herself, just about those actions so she won't do them again... which was problemaitc when someone always feel their actions where justified. and that just ended up backfiring into her doing those actions. as far as i was concerned i was just letting her know of my concerns. i suppose the other option would have being to trust in her blindly - to let her prove herself by not doing them, but wouldn't that just be putting my concerns and real issues under the rug? its also possible that i should have accepted that she won't come up with a solution for my concern about her behaviors, and instead i could have gone around it into the obvious targets - instead of questioning whether she can really commit to someone or whether she would respect father/son bonds, i could have asked her more questions to open up about her stepfathers leaving her and what she felt... went at it from that direction.

That approach might be the one with the most potential to change her perspective about the importance and effects of father/child bonds.

but this entire aproach - that "this stratagy was wrong" and "that stratagy might have being better"... where is she in that? where is she as a person? the one responsible for her own actions, responsible for her own introspection and dealing with her own issues so she can grow and overcome and deal with with her flaws rather then act on them and feel bad for it and then blame whoever they are hurting for being the reason she feels bad about it?

Exactly. It's ultimately up to the other person to be responsible for their actions. You can suggest, advise, try to enlighten, etc. only up to a point. If you go too far with it you become paternalistic, which weakens the other person and puts you in a role that isn't healthy for either of you.

but what about him - does she think that if she doesn't see it then it isn't there? does she think that i'm not there in the back of his head, waiting to either be released when he - just like she has with me - gets to cry to his special someone one day about the missing stones in his self esteem jar? or come out in bursts of anger about feeling abandoned by me - someone he trusted to always be there for him? or - if she'd ever be willing before the later happens - explode in happiness if he ever gets to see me again? or worst - what if the way she has demonized me has taken to how she describes me, what if she is telling him that daddy is a bad man, and now he is going to confuse me as his role model with anything he knows is bad to do and will feed into a secret desire to be just that as a way to get close to me in his head?
and does she think that just because she won't face her own flaws, all the potentials of all the ways i completed her as a parent aren't there? does she think all the ideas she doesn't come up with and oppertunities i'm not there to catch and teach him to nurture his development and all the emotional and mental tools i am not there to provide for him aren't there, floating behind the barrier of our mistakes towards each other (and in the process - towards him)?

Well, if she didn't experience growing up with a father or father-figure, she probably doesn't understand the potentially negative consequences of you not being there for your step-son, sadly. It's clear that you care greatly for your step-son, are concerned about him and most likely miss him a lot. I'm so sorry you are suffering in this way.

so i get it - at least in my worst version of her mindset - i would guess she blames everything on me and thus her only regrets are hitting on me and letting me in - but does she think she can undo the relationship by pretending it never happened? or perhaps it is ok because her choices are all my fault anyway so for her i am the one doing it to him, even though i have being fighting for him and trying to fix it while she was fighting me off?

Maybe she will see the truth of the situation in the future. Sometimes people have to distance themselves for a bit to be able to view their lives more objectively.

decent people make mistakes - everyone hurts everyone they care for in the grand scheme of things - but eventually they understand those mistakes by being open to the other's point of view, they acknowledge them and fix them. its the other kind of people who stand by their mistakes. at any given moment, the later can become the first, and there's no deadline, but there are snowballs - and the more you wait the worst the impacts of the mistake become.

True.

i just don't feel like i know who she is anymore - the elements of what she's being doing... its not within the character of the person i fall for. if its a lapse in judgement i can accept that, but so far - for whatever reason - she's being sticking by it.

i'm honestly very conflicted about how i feel about her at this point.

INFJs can have a dark side, unfortunately. The good parts of her that you liked are probably still there....you're just not getting to see them.

Re-connecting with door slammers varies widely. I have read a lot from infj's here about leaving the door open sometimes. The problem with that is for some, it's too late.

I'm sure it's probably too late in a lot of cases. :/

A lot depends on type of door slam and what loose ends we're left or not and damage caused or not.

If there were no to little loose ends, reappearing down the road is much more plausible. Just because a door is left open slight sometimes, doesn't mean the other person wants to take it nor wants to go to the trouble to do the work.

Yes, I would imagine a wall of impenetrable silence doesn't exactly make you feel motivated to break through it.
Even if I had no loose ends, it is still 50/50 and not a non-infj rescuing an infj. It's not all about the infj, nor is it all about the other person either.

I can't speak for other non-infj's but for me, when loose ends exist, my feelings only harden more over time. When no loose ends exist, my type quickly moves on to other things in life and reappearing down the road is a 50/50 roll of dice for infj. If I am in relationship with someone else or even just beginning one, you don't have a chance. You also may not have a chance even if I'm single at the time of reappearance. But if I'm single and nothing bad happened previously, there is always a chance. But not a rescuer situation. The other person needs to be strong and independent. Previously I reconnected with my infj a few times over the years because we didn't have any past issues. My type is very open to that.

Interesting. Thanks for sharing this.
 
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if she didn't experience growing up with a father or father-figure, she probably doesn't understand the potentially negative consequences of you not being there for your step-son, sadly. It's clear that you care greatly for your step-son, are concerned about him and most likely miss him a lot. I'm so sorry you are suffering in this way.
that's just the thing - she has expeirenced growing up with multiply father figures, a step father after another after another, my shoulder got soaked many times with a lot of tears about loosing them felt like for her and how it impacted her life... and now she's giving our son something to cry about.
 

BalanceFind

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Intricate Mystic, I can only speak for myself, and as an Entp type.

The thing I find the most amazing about this thread is that Fidelia dated an Estj guy. In my experience all of the infj people I have met are very liberal ideologically. And all the Estj's I have met have been extremely conservative ideologically. I have trouble seeing the compatibility there. I can see moderate types and infj's and other liberal types. That's interesting. Perhaps they are two less extreme in their types?

I now know how to not only identify types better, but in particular what to watch out for with myself and infj types.

With regards to door slamming, as time moves on and on, with loose ends still on the table, in my situation, my infj is not only getting basic facts wrong, she is making them whatever she wants them to be. She misinterpreted the facts at the beginning, then realized she did. But she doesn't care to revisit important issues. It's not only an underdeveloped logic, it's a selfish, ruthless not caring about anything urgent. The rules don't apply. The length of extreme of that is something i was not prepared for ans underestimated. It's the exact opposite of what I knew. I also never met anyone who would intentionally break the rules in such a big qay and lie and steal under great durress. Reality and fairness always came first, especially economically.

No future with this one, because of the extreme of her actions. But my type can handle the coming and goings of infj's in general. I don't think you'd find that in most non p types though. And perhaps it is my type, or the extreme of my situation, but the longer the time passes the less sympathy and empathy i have for someone who disregarded urgent matters for others in basic everyday reality out of extreme selfishness.
 

SilkRoad

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Intricate Mystic, I can only speak for myself, and as an Entp type.

The thing I find the most amazing about this thread is that Fidelia dated an Estj guy. In my experience all of the infj people I have met are very liberal ideologically. And all the Estj's I have met have been extremely conservative ideologically. I have trouble seeing the compatibility there. I can see moderate types and infj's and other liberal types. That's interesting. Perhaps they are two less extreme in their types?

I now know how to not only identify types better, but in particular what to watch out for with myself and infj types.

With regards to door slamming, as time moves on and on, with loose ends still on the table, in my situation, my infj is not only getting basic facts wrong, she is making them whatever she wants them to be. She misinterpreted the facts at the beginning, then realized she did. But she doesn't care to revisit important issues. It's not only an underdeveloped logic, it's a selfish, ruthless not caring about anything urgent. The rules don't apply. The length of extreme of that is something i was not prepared for ans underestimated. It's the exact opposite of what I knew. I also never met anyone who would intentionally break the rules in such a big qay and lie and steal under great durress. Reality and fairness always came first, especially economically.

No future with this one, because of the extreme of her actions. But my type can handle the coming and goings of infj's in general. I don't think you'd find that in most non p types though. And perhaps it is my type, or the extreme of my situation, but the longer the time passes the less sympathy and empathy i have for someone who disregarded urgent matters for others in basic everyday reality out of extreme selfishness.

There are plenty of INFJs who are drawn to and get involved with ESTJs or ExxJs or whatever. I find it very odd when people say that two types "never" get involved or that an INFJ is always liberal and an ESTJ is always conservative or whatever. I myself was drawn to (didn't date him...but close) a significantly older ESTJ who when younger was a punk/anarchist/drug taker. He's much more "conservative" now but was not always that way. I think you'll find that quite a lot of INFJs have some ExTJ history.

My best friend who is an INFJ is married to an ESTJ, I'm pretty sure...he might be ISTJ but ESTJ seems most likely. There is a lot about ESTJs that I find attractive, though it would remain to be seen if a long-term relationship could work out.

It also seems a shame that Mane had nothing to say about Fidelia's long well-thought-out post except a "no" to correct one little thing she said. The rest was entirely ignored. Definitely makes the INFJs posting in this thread feel as though they're not even being heard unless it's right in line with what the questioners are wanting to hear.
 

BalanceFind

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There are plenty of INFJs who are drawn to and get involved with ESTJs or ExxJs or whatever. I find it very odd when people say that two types "never" get involved or that an INFJ is always liberal and an ESTJ is always conservative or whatever. I myself was drawn to (didn't date him...but close) a significantly older ESTJ who when younger was a punk/anarchist/drug taker. He's much more "conservative" now but was not always that way. I think you'll find that quite a lot of INFJs have some ExTJ history.

My best friend who is an INFJ is married to an ESTJ, I'm pretty sure...he might be ISTJ but ESTJ seems most likely. There is a lot about ESTJs that I find attractive, though it would remain to be seen if a long-term relationship could work out.

It also seems a shame that Mane had nothing to say about Fidelia's long well-thought-out post except a "no" to correct one little thing she said. The rest was entirely ignored. Definitely makes the INFJs posting in this thread feel as though they're not even being heard unless it's right in line with what the questioners are wanting to hear.

There is a big difference between Entj and Estj.

I also prefaced by saying my experience or in my opinion. It's nothing to be defensive about.
 
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It also seems a shame that Mane had nothing to say about Fidelia's long well-thought-out post except a "no" to correct one little thing she said. The rest was entirely ignored. Definitely makes the INFJs posting in this thread feel as though they're not even being heard unless it's right in line with what the questioners are wanting to hear.

thank you for your blunt and honest opinion of what my actions make others feel :D

fiedlia - no, i don't think its releavent, but thank you for sharing.
 

SilkRoad

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There is a big difference between Entj and Estj.

I also prefaced by saying my experience or in my opinion. It's nothing to be defensive about.

I just find it very bizarre that throughout this thread, there seems to be a trend for the INFJs to write a long well thought out post which does (to the best of their ability) address the topic at hand...and then 95% of it is ignored and what will be picked up on by the ENTPs is one tiny thing not even particularly relevant to the thrust of the post - like "no you're wrong, she wasn't pregnant when we got together. the end". Or "gosh, that INFJ went out with an ESTJ. The end." Everything else that was actually relevant or interesting to the topic at hand just gets ignored.

I asked earlier if there was a possibility that the INFJs in these relationships didn't feel heard. I don't think that was ever responded to. But I sure don't feel heard by the ENTPs who I have been conversing with in this thread.
 

SilkRoad

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thank you for your blunt and honest opinion of what my actions make others feel :D

fiedlia - no, i don't think its releavent, but thank you for sharing.

Well, I don't know if you asked yourself why the INFJs in this thread have dropped out one by one... Did you read what any of them had to say?
 

BalanceFind

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I just find it very bizarre that throughout this thread, there seems to be a trend for the INFJs to write a long well thought out post which does (to the best of their ability) address the topic at hand...and then 95% of it is ignored and what will be picked up on by the ENTPs is one tiny thing not even particularly relevant to the thrust of the post - like "no you're wrong, she wasn't pregnant when we got together. the end". Or "gosh, that INFJ went out with an ESTJ. The end." Everything else that was actually relevant or interesting to the topic at hand just gets ignored.

I asked earlier if there was a possibility that the INFJs in these relationships didn't feel heard. I don't think that was ever responded to. But I sure don't feel heard by the ENTPs who I have been conversing with in this thread.

I don't have any interest in having a problem with you or with anyone here. I will tell you a few things that may or may not help your clarity with me and only me.

To me you are an individual first, type comes after. To me this isn't a turf war. This is not the infj's house and I am not a guest. Just as to me an Entp board or thread is not where an Infj is a guest.

If you want to be heard, speak. If you want to be heard by me specifically, speak specifically to me and it is likely you will be listened to and words equally exchanged on both sides...as long as both were doing so in a respectful manner.

I can and will only speak for myself. I am an individual first. I get it. You are a 6w5, which in my experience has not been infj. But I understand your group first mentality approach. I don't approach things that way. Everyone hear is equally respected by me as an individual, for simply existing.

Good luck to you.
 

SilkRoad

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I don't have any interest in having a problem with you or with anyone here. I will tell you a few things that may or may not help your clarity with me and only me.

To me you are an individual first, type comes after. To me this isn't a turf war. This is not the infj's house and I am not a guest. Just as to me an Entp board or thread is not where an Infj is a guest.

If you want to be heard, speak. If you want to be heard by me specifically, speak specifically to me and it is likely you will be listened to and words equally exchanged on both sides...as long as both were doing so in a respectful manner.

I can and will only speak for myself. I am an individual first. I get it. You are a 6w5, which in my experience has not been infj. But I understand your group first mentality approach. I don't approach things that way. Everyone hear is equally respected by me as an individual, for simply existing.

Good luck to you.

There has been a lot of massive generalizing about INFJs and our hideous doorslamming propensities in this thread and "we" (ie. the INFJs on this board who have commented on this thread) have been accused of having a herd mentality, effectively.

I think you may also need to take that into account before you suggest that I don't view myself as an individual (funny) or if you wonder why "us INFJs" in this thread do not feel heard - in fact, pretty much everyone who has wandered into this thread, INFJ or otherwise, has noted that there is a definite lecturing tone. I think the point of not feeling heard or not having points addressed is very valid and you will find that it constantly recurs if you go back and read through this thread.

Asking for advice, and then ignoring what others say when they genuinely try to help, or cherry-picking and taking things out of context, is not a good way to get polite dialogue going. You're going to find that you piss off a lot of people that way and that is effectively what has happened in this thread. It's incredibly dismissive and rude to write page-long lectures and then when people put some effort into a page-long reply, to ignore virtually all of what has been said - because it doesn't jive with your agenda, or whatever.

I do realise that you're trying to insult me by picking up my e-type and saying "well you're reacting that way because of your type 6 and the fact that you're the Borg, not an individual." If you'd like to share your e-type with me I can come up with some irrelevant insult that I feel applies to you.
 
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Well, I don't know if you asked yourself why the INFJs in this thread have dropped out one by one... Did you read what any of them had to say?

yes i have, and it has done wonders to 'discredit' my growing opinion that many if not most (given that from at least from the local outspoken population there has only being one exception who has admited that this was originally the case for her too), INFJs can have an exceptionally difficult time developing the introspective ability to face their own character flaws, faults or anything negative said about their own actions regardless of how talented they find themselves to be in doing so to others.
 

BalanceFind

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There has been a lot of massive generalizing about INFJs and our hideous doorslamming propensities in this thread and "we" (ie. the INFJs on this board who have commented on this thread) have been accused of having a herd mentality, effectively.

I think you may also need to take that into account before you suggest that I don't view myself as an individual (funny) or if you wonder why "us INFJs" in this thread do not feel heard - in fact, pretty much everyone who has wandered into this thread, INFJ or otherwise, has noted that there is a definite lecturing tone. I think the point of not feeling heard or not having points addressed is very valid and you will find that it constantly recurs if you go back and read through this thread.

Asking for advice, and then ignoring what others say when they genuinely try to help, or cherry-picking and taking things out of context, is not a good way to get polite dialogue going. You're going to find that you piss off a lot of people that way and that is effectively what has happened in this thread. It's incredibly dismissive and rude to write page-long lectures and then when people put some effort into a page-long reply, to ignore virtually all of what has been said - because it doesn't jive with your agenda, or whatever.

I do realise that you're trying to insult me by picking up my e-type and saying "well you're reacting that way because of your type 6 and the fact that you're the Borg, not an individual." If you'd like to share your e-type with me I can come up with some irrelevant insult that I feel applies to you.

I'm very easy to talk with. If you are unsure ask, don't assume.

Had you read this thread as you have chastized others for not always doing so, you'd already know my e type. I have shared it repeatedly. I am an 8 both wings. I am an Entp who is very much in touch with my feeling side too.

I've been extremely upfront about my agenda here. I came here to help myself, and in return have been willing to offer my help to anyone directly or indirectly.

I thought getting the various perspectives of a wide range of both infj and non infj types here would help me better understand my situation, and moreso, how to proceed in my situation, to achieve my desired results. It's been a wide an interesting mix of people and posts, as I had expected and hoped.

I have not read every post here. I try to read as many as I can, and i read some with more interest than others. Much of my reading and posting has come from my phone which partly explains some if my typos that otherwise I generally would not have as much of on here.

If there is something specific to me, my posts, my situation that you want to ask or exchange comment on, go ahead. Or if there is something else about your situation you want to discuss, great.

As for generalities, well, I think some people write more or longer than others. I think sometimes people are busy, sometimes they don't think they have anything else to add to the topics.
 

SilkRoad

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I'm very easy to talk with. If you are unsure ask, don't assume.

Had you read this thread as you have chastized others for not always doing so, you'd already know my e type. I have shared it repeatedly. I am an 8 both wings. I am an Entp who is very much in touch with my feeling side too.

I've been extremely upfront about my agenda here. I came here to help myself, and in return have been willing to offer my help to anyone directly or indirectly.

I thought getting the various perspectives of a wide range of both infj and non infj types here would help me better understand my situation, and moreso, how to proceed in my situation, to achieve my desired results. It's been a wide an interesting mix of people and posts, as I had expected and hoped.

I have not read every post here. I try to read as many as I can, and i read some with more interest than others. Much of my reading and posting has come from my phone which partly explains some if my typos that otherwise I generally would not have as much of on here.

If there is something specific to me, my posts, my situation that you want to ask or exchange comment on, go ahead. Or if there is something else about your situation you want to discuss, great.

As for generalities, well, I think some people write more or longer than others. I think sometimes people are busy, sometimes they don't think they have anything else to add to the topics.

Ok. I take your points. I have just felt as though I am banging my head against the wall by participating in this thread. And it appears that a fair few people, of various types, have felt similarly.
 
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I asked earlier if there was a possibility that the INFJs in these relationships didn't feel heard. I don't think that was ever responded to. But I sure don't feel heard by the ENTPs who I have been conversing with in this thread.

is there anything specific that you - silkroad - feel i haven't heard you about?
 

SilkRoad

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is there anything specific that you - silkroad - feel i haven't heard you about?

I don't know if "haven't heard" is actually the most accurate way to put it.

It's just that you've urged INFJs to see the perspective of others, so much. And yet, when I try to describe how a "doorslam" is likely to have followed an awful lot of trying to see the perspective of the other person, and trying to share your own - and that the doorslam is in part because the other person refuses to see that in an equal relationship everyone's rights have to be taken under consideration - it's been repeatedly dismissed or described as special pleading. To the extent that I feel like I've been punching the air.

I, and others, have described in detail how we've tried to fix relationships, or to do our part in fixing them - not without making our own mistakes, obviously - but how in some cases things have not proved fixable, partly because the other person repeatedly infringes on my rights, or overwhelms me even when given specific pointers on how NOT to overwhelm me, or disregards my feelings severely and repeatedly, or demonstrates that their approach to the relationship (whatever its nature) is utterly incompatible with my own - etc.

And it seems like, according to you, none of that is valid when coming from "INFJs" and it just proves that we've got blind spots far more hideous than those of any other type. Because the only thing that IS valid is bending over backwards and breaking yourself in half to try and accommodate the other person's perspective - even if they are doing nothing of the kind for you. And all too often in this thread the only thing that gets "heard" is what confirms your current bad view of "INFJs" and "INFJ doorslams" (all of which, apparently, fall under one and the same umbrella.)
 

Starry

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Re-connecting with door slammers varies widely. I have read a lot from infj's here about leaving the door open sometimes. The problem with that is for some, it's too late.

I'm glad you brought this up. My dear friend Z Buck and I were actually talking about this very thing. And I want you to know that WE were talking about it BEFORE you mentioned it...haha...I'm totally kidding. I mean, I'm not...but it doesn't matter does it now and I'm just being weird haha.

Z Buck is eloquent...while my vocabulary leaves something to be desired (oh no [MENTION=8244]Eilonwy[/MENTION])...and I'm never really capable of saying what I want to say...but I did start to suspect that some of the reaction we are seeing in this thread from ENPs...comes from a place of total panic. You see...we are not capable of moving forward when there are loose-ends. I mean...it just really isn't in us to do so. And so if the loose-end isn't addressed in a way that makes us feel comfortable moving forward...the only thing we can do is to completely close ourselves off emotionally (shit mentally, spiritually as well) to the other individual and pretend 'it' never happened. And when it comes to people we care about...well this is where the panic comes from. It is almost like...'you don't know what you are asking me to do'. You are asking me to completely erase you from my existance and I am reluctant to do that. It is weird to me to consider WE are the real doorslammers in the bunch.
 

BalanceFind

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I'm very easy to talk with. If you are unsure ask, don't assume.

Had you read this thread as you have chastized others for not always doing so, you'd already know my e type. I have shared it repeatedly. I am an 8 both wings. I am an Entp who is very much in touch with my feeling side too.

I've been extremely upfront about my agenda here. I came here to help myself, and in return have been willing to offer my help to anyone directly or indirectly.

I thought getting the various perspectives of a wide range of both infj and non infj types here would help me better understand my situation, and moreso, how to proceed in my situation, to achieve my desired results. It's been a wide an interesting mix of people and posts, as I had expected and hoped.

I have not read every post here. I try to read as many as I can, and i read some with more interest than others. Much of my reading and posting has come from my phone which partly explains some if my typos that otherwise I generally would not have as much of on here.

If there is something specific to me, my posts, my situation that you want to ask or exchange comment on, go ahead. Or if there is something else about your situation you want to discuss, great.

As for generalities, well, I think some people write more or longer than others. I think sometimes people are busy, sometimes they don't think they have anything else to add to the topics.

I don't know if "haven't heard" is actually the most accurate way to put it.

It's just that you've urged INFJs to see the perspective of others, so much. And yet, when I try to describe how a "doorslam" is likely to have followed an awful lot of trying to see the perspective of the other person, and trying to share your own - and that the doorslam is in part because the other person refuses to see that in an equal relationship everyone's rights have to be taken under consideration - it's been repeatedly dismissed or described as special pleading. To the extent that I feel like I've been punching the air.

I, and others, have described in detail how we've tried to fix relationships, or to do our part in fixing them - not without making our own mistakes, obviously - but how in some cases things have not proved fixable, partly because the other person repeatedly infringes on my rights, or overwhelms me even when given specific pointers on how NOT to overwhelm me, or disregards my feelings severely and repeatedly, or demonstrates that their approach to the relationship (whatever its nature) is utterly incompatible with my own - etc.

And it seems like, according to you, none of that is valid when coming from "INFJs" and it just proves that we've got blind spots far more hideous than those of any other type. Because the only thing that IS valid is bending over backwards and breaking yourself in half to try and accommodate the other person's perspective - even if they are doing nothing of the kind for you. And all too often in this thread the only thing that gets "heard" is what confirms your current bad view of "INFJs" and "INFJ doorslams" (all of which, apparently, fall under one and the same umbrella.)

And, some infj's door slam without all of that effort too. Sometimes it's done in haste. Sometimes it is done with errors of fact. Not all door slams are the same.

Not all infj's are the same. Some are healthier than others. Some have more or less developed area than others. This of course can also be said for any type.

For me, getting a wide variety of perspectives from both infj's and non infj's here can give me a lot of info and gain a better general understanding before specifically addressing my own situation.
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

failure to thrive
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
5,585
MBTI Type
INfj
Enneagram
451
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I'm starting to think this whole doorslam thing is a bunch of crock.

Who even purported it originally? Keirsey?

I think it's a phenomenon of immaturity more than anything else.
 
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