With the caveat that I obviously don't have any information to go on except what you've provided it sounds to me like the problem is that you're still in love with her, and she knows it, but she does not reciprocate your feeligns. The reason she has tried to reopen the door just a little is that she cares about you, you are the father of her child, and she very likely wants to have some sort of relationship with you. But it's not the kind of relationship that she believes that you want, and that puts her on edge. So at the slightest sign of any romantic pressure from you, she shuts the door again.Saw the above in an earlier post. This site has been very helpful. I've been dooslammed by the woman(INFJ) I thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with. To make a very long story short i broke trust but not intentionally. Then she set unrealistic expectations of how I should fix the situation. To make things even worse, we had a child together (tho we weren't a couple when i found out) so I see her several times a month. While I'm still in love with her she has made it very clear she doesn't love me anymore.
So my questions are this :
A) Are INFJ's narsicistic? She misinterprets contact and content and definitely creates and inflates drama. We used to have very long (hours)conversations that would exhaust both of us.
B:She has tried to open the door back recently just a little but then slams it shut. How can i help reopen the door?
Here's the thing about the doorslam - it's not something that we typically do on a whim, and it's not something we do because we don't care about people. We do it because we have the unhealthy tendency to care more about other people's feelings than our own, and when faced with the immediate pressure of someone else's pain our instinctive reaction is to do whatever is in our power to make that pain go away. The doorslam is our natural defense mechanism against that tendency. We are always tempted to give in to other people, so the solution is to avoid temptation.
By way of illustration, after I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, he kept putting pressure on me to work through it with him. We had been working on the exact same issues for at least 70% of our entire relationship, so I was pretty well convinced that there was nothing to be done. Still, I found myself repeatedly thinking "I can make him so happy by sticking with him. What does it matter if I'm miserable for the rest of my life, as long as he's happy." This isn't hyperbole, that was the exact thought that kept running through my mind. Fortunately I've been in therapy long enough to know how destructive that mindset is, so I finally told him to stop contacting me. Without the doorslam, he would have eventually worn me down and we would have ended up making a terrible mistake.