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  1. #1681
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeceptiveCreative View Post
    Do ENFJs doorslam too?


    I think it's hilarious you guys call it the "INFJ doorslam" as an IxFP, I call it dealing with people.
    That's a laugh. How is avoiding others dealing with people?
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  2. #1682
    Glamour puss with a tan Raffaella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    That's a laugh. How is avoiding others dealing with people?

    No, I was just kidding and being self-deprecating.

    I know that I'm awful at dealing with people so I just shut them out - which is the easiest thing for me to do. I used to do it heaps, these days I try and deal with it objectively (well as objectively as I can be, damn infantile Te). What I actually meant is that it's funny they made a phrase for it to explain the end of a friendship for INFJs when for the young and immature IxFPs, it's quite common and something that helps us "deal" with people (it obviously doesn't but it maintains our sanity).

  3. #1683
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    That's a laugh. How is avoiding others dealing with people?
    In all seriousness, how is it not? I'm friends with people voluntarily, not out of obligation. I hope the people who call me friends do so because they want to, not because they feel obligated to me. If a relationship is not working, is draining my energy, and is causing me grief- sometimes the best way to deal with that is to end it. There is no rule that says we have to be friends with everyone.

  4. #1684
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    I refuse to engage in arguments on the internet over semantics.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  5. #1685
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Well, okay then.

  6. #1686
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    There is no rule that says we have to be friends with everyone.
    frankly that's a gross misunderstanding of the argument. no, nobody's claiming that you need to become friends with everyone and nobody's claiming you need to maintain being their friend or pretend to like them or being around them when you don't. the act of doorslamming is the total break of communication & accountability, the complete shutting out of their perspective. i have people for whom my sentiments can range from simply not enjoying their company to outright hate, there are people i don't care about at all and people who i enjoy but don't have a bond with. but the matter of their mental existence isn't an open question to be answered by whatever suited my needs, their existence is never on trial in the first place, regardless if they are my friends.


    eta: for that matter i wouldn't call myself a friend of anyone who's existence was on trial in my head to began with.

  7. #1687

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    The infj doorslam. I've seen it executed by infjs both in very appropriate ways as well as unfairly harshly.

    What amazes me most about the doorslam is that it really feels like a doorslam. It is a perfect metaphor. I have to believe in psychic connection, or in this case, disconnection, to make sense of it.

  8. #1688

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    Quote Originally Posted by wedekit View Post

    I'm also guilty of not sharing with them why I choose not to associate myself with them anymore. If I don't want to let them back in then I don't see a reason to discuss with them why I am angry.
    I think we all do this to some extent. Even without explanation. I guess what feels very unique to the infj doorslam is that it has a ring to it. Even if the infj disappears without word, you hear the doorslam. You know it and it's "FINAL". It's very interesting to me why that is. Haven't found the explanation yet.

  9. #1689
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Feline View Post
    I think we all do this to some extent. Even without explanation. I guess what feels very unique to the infj doorslam is that it has a ring to it. Even if the infj disappears without word, you hear the doorslam. You know it and it's "FINAL". It's very interesting to me why that is. Haven't found the explanation yet.
    Ni-Ti doorslam
    Ne-Te hammer

    Aren't they opposite?
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  10. #1690

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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    Ni-Ti doorslam
    Ne-Te hammer

    Aren't they opposite?
    They sure sound different. They sound like different ways to deal with a problematic situation. What I meant is that many of us non-infjs will also close the door to certain people. In any case, I have done that. Over time, sometimes, you just make a decision to no longer seek someone out. Or sometimes, you simply protect yourself. One case I can think of self-protection was that I was afraid to respond to an ex-boyfriend. I was afraid to have feelings for him, even though I was the one that broke up the relationship. And my ex-boyfriend is a sweetie pie. So it was so sad to do it.

    But I think that an infj door slam feels more "damming". And I think it has to do with the deeper connection that exists before it happens. Even when the doorslam is the result of a gradual process.

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