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Thread: When an INFJ doorslams you / cuts you out of their life / breaks off contact

  1. #1671

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    Flipping homes was a big trend for a while there, until the housing industry crashed. However, the quantity of people doing it has begun to increase. Flipping houses seems simple, but it isn’t just putting in a few new cabinets and cash rains from the sky. Many properties are foreclosures, which have been sitting for sometime and need to be rehabbed to be inhabitable, which can be expensive.

  2. #1672
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    Quote Originally Posted by rebeccaB View Post
    Flipping homes was a big trend for a while there, until the housing industry crashed. However, the quantity of people doing it has begun to increase. Flipping houses seems simple, but it isn’t just putting in a few new cabinets and cash rains from the sky. Many properties are foreclosures, which have been sitting for sometime and need to be rehabbed to be inhabitable, which can be expensive.
    Interdast.

  3. #1673
    Level 8 Propaganda Bot Array SpankyMcFly's Avatar
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    Every time an INFJ does this a psychopath is born somewhere. Please stop doing this.

  4. #1674
    Senior Member Array yeghor's Avatar
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    To me, there seems to be a correlation between psychologically avoidant & distancing behaviors and INFJs. Not sure where the one ends and the other begins, I suppose it's when the patterns of behavior become "unhealthy" that I might draw the line between INFJ characteristics and avoidants. Your friend, to me, sounds more like someone with avoidance issues, maybe even abandoholism. Sadly I've had some experience with these. It can be devastating. I wish you the best.

  6. #1676
    Senior Member Array yeghor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by timewind View Post
    To me, there seems to be a correlation between psychologically avoidant & distancing behaviors and INFJs. Not sure where the one ends and the other begins, I suppose it's when the patterns of behavior become "unhealthy" that I might draw the line between INFJ characteristics and avoidants. Your friend, to me, sounds more like someone with avoidance issues, maybe even abandoholism. Sadly I've had some experience with these. It can be devastating. I wish you the best.
    If you are referring to the woman in the video and you don't identify with what she says...then...why you no INFJ?

    Do this test and notify me of the result...please...

    http://www.sociotype.com/tests/

  7. #1677
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    If you are referring to the woman in the video and you don't identify with what she says...then...why you no INFJ?

    Do this test and notify me of the result...please...

    http://www.sociotype.com/tests/
    sorry for my error, the reply was supposed to be to the message at the top of the thread, I neglected to include the quote that would have made it more clear.

  8. #1678
    Senior Member Array Hinastarr's Avatar
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    I suppose that, due to the INFJs sensitivity to the influence of their bonds, as well as the actions of others upon them, INFJs scarcely exhibit a natural, spontaneous openness about them when interacting with new people, particularly in that we tend to seek and anticipate much more from our relationships than most would willingly, or reasonably offer. Because we bear such a capacity for caring and empathy toward the rest, I suppose rejection and discord in our encounters tends to impact us a bit more intensely then would many others, in the sense that once we truly finally gain trust in the other person and embrace them as a value individual in our lives, we almost subconsciously offer a significant part of ourselves into those we cherish most. It almost resembles a "second conscience" or "spiritual binding" to the other person (particularly in romantic pursuits) that makes us desire to live for both ourselves and the other individual.

    I don't mean to suggest that we lose our identities and fall easily into submissive roles (which would actually seem more contradictory for the INFJs true nature), but rather that we tend to perceive our bonds and the quality of them more seriously than do most other personality types, and from my experience.

    As for the door-slam situation, I sense that much of this reaction to weakening bonds and relationships is simply a mechanism for some people to alleviate the stresses and pain that comes from direct contact with the person causing the problem, which may less favorably incite unwanted conflict between INFJ and the other being. It's a passive-aggressive tool for averting your face to arguments and heated disputes that may only further press upon your sensitivity and already intense emotions, while at the same time, informing the person who caused you harm that you no longer wish to include them as an ongoing influence in your life with distant, cold actions rather than words.

    Based upon personal experience, I sense that, contrary to INFPs, whose Fi function allows them to quickly discern whether the person they've encountered is beneficial or not to them based upon a certain vibe they receive from them, INFJs tend to "beat around the bush" and cycle around the same dilemma continually as they attempt to talk things through and mend the misunderstand between themselves and others, and more frequently resort to the notorious door-slam as a final resort once they've reasoned that the rift between them and said person is irreparable, and therefore, has no purpose for remaining an ongoing concern for them any longer.

    My own direct encounter with the door-slam involved my eventually blocking a male INFJ out of my life after months of attempting to fix what could be repaired due to his manipulative tendencies and inability to accept his own mistakes and contribution in bring about our situation. Whereas my hypersensitivity to disagreement propelled me to want to get in his graces and faulted myself to an extreme for something I hadn't even entirely caused alone, he tried to seize the controlling role in our bond and directly influence my feelings and actions, in order to prevent appearing vulnerable and weak. It is sad, as well as somewhat ironic, to even assume we had so much in common and chemistry in our ideas and world view, yet little compatibility in our way of reacting to and dealing with situations.

  9. #1679
    Senior Member Array Eluded_One's Avatar
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    I understand this [very old] thread is made with the intent on informing others on certain idiosyncratic actions by an INFJ, however, I don't see the difference whether someone door slammed you or if they decided it's time to wither away communications slowly.

    In the end, the results remain the same, and if anyone wanted to get rid of you, they will definitely find a means in doing so, INFJ or not.

    Actually, it would be in my preference to be door slammed than have a relationship that's fading into apathy and obscurity. Although, my expectations in emotional honesty is quite idealistic, I'd rather deal with the pain of knowing than someone's bullshit of not knowing.
    “If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” -anonymous

  10. #1680
    Glamour puss with a tan Array Raffaella's Avatar
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    Do ENFJs doorslam too?


    I think it's hilarious you guys call it the "INFJ doorslam" as an IxFP, I call it dealing with people.

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