We do scan emotional landscapes and don't put stock in external frameworks, but it's not at all about the back and forth aspect between people. It's about the analysis of that particular landscape on it's own terms. I would say it's about the self-contained subjective logic of that other person and the meaning of it. We are very aware of and can be deeply affected by other people's emotional landscapes. I care about the internal state of a person (where their thoughts and feelings come from and what drives them) and the external outcomes/impacts that come from that (in other words, Fi moving into Te?). Sorry, I'm not sure how to describe this properly without going into great detail.
There are many things that offend me about the doorslam (note: I've only had the everyday/lesser kind, not a total shutdown - so I'm partially speaking in theory here): it makes my perspective feel invalidated; it bothers me to have feel like another person is dictating the terms of interaction and controlling me; the sense of injustice I feel; but also, the illogicality of it all really bothers me. The last point can matter more to INFPs than most people realise. Think of Fi as being much like Ti, but instead more focused on the analysis of human behaviour. We accept people are inherently messy creatures, but few things get us going more than a person claiming a position of rationality (or appearing to do so) and yet their thought-process/behaviour is full of logical fallacies. It actually offends my sensibilities and I feel a overwhelming urge to correct it. I can remember threads here where the NFPs got quite carried away with doing this.
Also I can't say I can agree that there's many (if any) situations where I consider it justifiable for me to inflict hurt on others. There may be times where it's accidental, and times where I'm callous and unthinking (because I'm being emotionally lazy), but rarely intentionally hurtful.
Sort of, partially...So INFPs here on the thread are not questioning INFJs' right to resort to doorslam but their (INFJs') right (or rather lack thereof) to inflict unilateral hurt and not giving non-INFJs a chance to somehow discharge that bad feeling/energy/hurt (grieving process)?
To me, it feels like the INFJ is making objective claims about how things are (defining what the 'reality' of the situation is) that seem so distorted and is forcing that view on me, whilst shutting out my alternative theories. In a sense it does create a powerful build up of thoughts and emotions in myself, with nowhere to direct them and no way to resolve them (even internally - for myself).
I'm not sure if any of that helps.