I used the word creature rather playfully. I just talk silly like that sometimes, read little into it. And no, I didn't take it as an insult, I'm just not sure why you keep pressing on that button to suggest she is not an INFJ. Can you provide a rationale for why you are doing that?I do not know what you meant by creature but it did not sound like anything positive?...I did not mean or word it as an insult Peacebaby...you are somehow inclined to take it as an insult...read it without any added sarcasm...Eilonwy said that she was not sure she had been able to convey her thoughts clearly...I was just trying to give her hints about Ti...her reasoning honestly does not come across to me as Ti-reasoning...
Why not?I can't see a reason to warrant that...?
Hmm, so you want him to tell you exactly what predicated the doorslam? Or something else?Yes Peacebaby, because he is not presenting further information that would contradict my conclusions...I am just waiting to be persuaded...It's like we are running in circles here because I feel like I am being forced to making the same explanations over and over again...and no I am not shouting at you here...
This is always my issue with a question like this - why must he prove he wasn't an ass to his ex here? I'm sure he has his share of responsibility for what went wrong. But you realize he could say ANYTHING to you right now anyway, right? Most folks are smart enough to be able to prove their case, especially on a forum like this, where they can cherry-pick what gets revealed.
So, what will it really prove? It doesn't change the propensity of the INFJ to doorslam, does it?
Even if I knew them irl, how much would I really know? People's lives behind closed doors are unknowable.
Every INFJ I've heard talk about the doorslam speaks of it as a process ... usually not one thing but a looonng accretion of grievance. Otherwise, one massive indiscretion. You suspect that here?
And I just realized something. Tell me if this is how you see it:
Mane is guilty until proven innocent. A bad thing happened to him, so he must have done something to deserve it. And you see him as presenting a side of the story where you want to see proof that he was indeed some sort of victim in this situation.
The error is in thinking I have taken a side.Because in his story, we are not getting any input from his wife here on the forum...All we know is what bits of information Mane shared about her...Why do you automatically side with him without even hearing the ex-partner's side of the story? Have you not witnessed any divorce cases in your life? You surely must know how nasty things can get between ex-partners, what they can tell to others about each other...How would you react IRL if an ex-husband of one of you female coworkers came and vented to you about how her ex-wife (your coworker) was such a closed-minded person...Would you automatically take the ex-husband's side without checking it with the coworker?
Your emotions are very welcome here. I enjoy them. In fact, I totally appreciate them.I did not get angry at him for that...and why should there be a fault for me getting angry? Am I or any other INFJ not allowed to express emotion here in this thread? Wouldn't that constitute a double standard?
Yes, there are rifts between some INFP's and some INFJ's here. But I don't identify with Mane for that reason.I understand that there's a rift between INFPs and INFJs here, some kind of a cold war...I think that's why you are feeling so committed to his cause...you are somewhat identifying with him...?
I feel your frustration and I know I am helping contribute to it. And I feel bad this thread was your entry point to this community. You must imagine you stepped into something you had no idea would blow up like this. I sincerely hope it hasn't been too terrible on you.Let me tell you how I feel right now, and I am saying this, not to hurt you, but to vent out my frustration...I honestly feel as if all I've said since page 95 has been falling on deaf ears...
-Do you have any chance to verify Mane's story? NoPlease, just tell me:
-Do you have any chance to hear the ex-partner's side of the story? No
-How can you identify with his case so strongly? I don't. I identify with his perspective on how INFJ's can close their perspective.
-What do you hope to achieve for yourself and for INFJs by doing that? There is no goal.