i was out with istp last night and we hit a wall. basically, we ran out of stuff to talk about. i verbalize this, of course, and he says something like he can just enjoy being in the presence of other people (he was not being specific to me) and that i need to relax. typical.
at any rate, i go into freak out mode when this happens. i don't know why exactly and maybe you all can help me sort through my jumble of feelings. i think there are a few things at work:
1) insecurity - i am subconsciously looking for reasons for us not to be compatible, so we have one tiny little lull and i am like AH-HA! i knew it! run!
2) restlessness - i need to be stimulated all the time and can't stand to sit there saying nothing at all.
then of course i start the cycle of being crazy and thinking that "oh no! now i've ruined it with my discontent attitude and my psycho rampant emotionalism!" istp is so freakin calm that it makes me feel ridiculous. it's not his fault... i know it's me... but i just hate that i feel so insane.
not sure what this is or how to get over it.
i'm thinking this is why i have short term relationships. it's all i can do not to pull the plug. TOTALLY not rational, but that's how i FEEEEEEL.