It used to frustrate me horribly when try as hard as I could I couldn't keep a conversation going. Then I found the FourTypes Sorter in the back of Please Understand Me II. Question 2, "I feel best about myself when...." NTs, SPs and SJs all had things that make them feel best that don't necessarily involve other people, but for NFs, the answer is "I feel best about myself when I'm en rapport with someone." For SJs, it's being rock-solid dependable -- so all they have to do is take out the garbage or balance their check book and they feel great about themselves. For SPs, it's being graceful in action -- they go to the gym and they feel great about themselves. But for NF's, you actually have to get someone to open up to you and share their soul and then listen attentively while you do the same -- and how often does this happen? So I think it's perfectly understandable that you see dead conversations with people you feel close to as a really bad thing -- from their perspective nothing's wrong but you've lost yet another opportunity to feel best about yourself. Once I realized what was going on I was able to put things in perspective -- I still feel bad, but at least I realize what's motivating me and that other types don't share that motivation and I can treasure the times when I do get to be en rapport with someone else, few and far between as they can be.