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Thread: Mothers of NF's

  1. #41
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    I just read through this entire thread for the very first time (Thx Sparrow for bringing it back to life)...and I am blown away by how many NFs were 'produced' by xSFJ mothers. My mother is ESFJ. She drives me absolutely insane...but I do love her very much.

    My ESFJ mother & INTJ father produced 3 ENFP children in a row & then my youngest sib IxTJ.

    I have somehow come to believe that ENFPs were 'produced' by my parents because ENFPs are the only type that could 'survive' the 'craziness' I was raised in. Seriously.

  2. #42
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    I just read this thread all the way through for the first time as well.

    My mother was an INTJ. (And, father is an ENTP.)

    Her INTJ-ness was both a good and bad thing. Being dominant N, she and I could communicate very, very easily. But her J-ness. Ohhhhhh.... her J-ness. And, her T-ness. Well, let's put it this way: She had zero appreciation for my emotional sensitivity and my spontaneity.

    On top of this, she struggled with predictable issues of her personality being outside of gender stereotype. My mother was reserved, calm, and collected. She could be terse and blunt in the name of expediency. Time and time again, I saw her have to battle with the disparity between the expectations of others for her to behave like June Cleaver and her innate desire to read a good book by herself. She had ZERO interest in my father's social commitments. And, little tolerance for my extraversion.

    It's a miracle I didn't turn out more loopy than I did.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  3. #43
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    Mine is an ISxJ. Extremely good at taking care of our practical needs and preparing us to be adults (education, how to cook, how to pay bills, etc), but emotionally distant. I can't remember having a non-practical conversation with her until I was an adult. Any time I tried to talk to her about why I was upset about something, she basically told me to suck it up (but in a nice way). I think she feels quite a lot in reality, she just doesn't know how to talk about emotions.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
    Extroverted (E) 52.5%........Introverted (I) 47.5%
    Intuitive (N) 65.63%..........Sensing (S) 34.38%
    Feeling (F) 55.56%............Thinking (T) 44.44%
    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  4. #44
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    My mother is an INFJ e2, so she has turbo-charged Fe. It is very easy to mistake her for an ENFJ. Anyway, she was very good to me. I was VERY VERY close to her (almost to an unhealthy extent) when I was little, and so I was socially eaten alive in the early years of public schooling. But then by the time the teens rolled around I reacted strongly against her in an attempt to get my own sense of identity. I acted in the exact opposite way I thought she would and it's only now, that I am starting to realize how much like her I am.

    I guess that I am lucky to have an NF mother, because apparently some NF's feel very misunderstood by their SP/SJ/NT parents. Not that other temperaments of parents aren't loving and understanding as mothers, but I think NF's especially want to be understood. And naturally, it's easier for a parent to understand a child of the same temperament. I have an ISTP father, and as much as he cares about me, I feel as though he is sometimes confused and disappointed by my seeming indifference to concrete/mechanical endeavors.

  5. #45
    Senior Member Eckhart's Avatar
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    My mother is an ISFJ. She is (overly) caring and loving, although she doesn't seem to be very close to people outside of family. Always hard at work, rather religious, very down to earth and very responsible in many ways. She gave some stability in my life which I guess helped me in some ways. I love her very much, although we also argue a lot, sometimes quite heavily. Some aspects of her often clash with mine, and often she drives me simply crazy, but we get over it after some time always.

    Besides giving me stability, she might have influenced me though also badly in some ways. She seemed to lack understanding of me very often and shows little interest in many things which interest me. She pushed me always as a child into being just like the other children in my age, although I never have been and never wanted to be. I was supposed to do sports activities I didn't like etc., go more outside even when I didn't have friends etc., and she wasn't too happy with what I did myself. She made me feel bad for being not so hard-working as she is when I grew older (which barely anyone is to be honest). Since I didn't have other people in my life who could balance that out I developed over time the feel of defectiveness, low self-confidence and created massive walls around myself and isolated myself from other people more and more. Actually people encouraged the same thing only. It will have shaped my whole life for sure, which has both negative and positive aspects though I guess. It is difficult though to get over those walls or just behave more natural, although I make progress maybe.

    She became a little bit more open and tolerant about some things over the time, which I may have been a reason too maybe? However she is still not very open for things in general, and I know she will never understand me truely. However I know she will love me as her child even if I am different than her.

    edit: Ah yes, she also does this "it is only for your best" stuff.

  6. #46
    Senior Member tkae.'s Avatar
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    ESFJ
    "Not knowing how near the truth is, we seek it far away." -Ekaku Hakuin
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    5w4 . IEI . Chaotic Good
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  7. #47
    Yeah, I can fly. Aleksei's Avatar
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    Crazy ENFP 4w3.
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  8. #48
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    Hmmm ...spent most of crucial birth through 6 years with ISFJ grandmother...very sweet, nurturing, quiet, orderly, tidy, affectionate, and still a reasonable disciplinarian, not overly permissive or anything but also very fair and not hard handed. I was kind of spoiled because my grandparents felt bad for me because my dad was a loser and my mom suffered from depression and anorexia, then got re-married to a man who didn't want anything to do with a child from her prior marriage (turns out this was in my best interest, anyway). I had lots of toys and dolls and was indulged in a very "girly girl" sort of way by her, while my grandfather was bigger on education and teaching me to read (though he did like to bring me candy). Overall I think it nurtured my ENFP need for both attention and space to be very imaginative because I was indulged in that 'only child' sort of way for a time, even though I wasn't an only child in reality.

    Then after my grandmother died my grandfather's last wife, an EStJ, was a very powerful, forceful, strict, systematic and orderly person. She did all the things a parent "should do" in terms of structure and stability and nutritious meals and bed times and recognizing holidays and letting me join the girl scouts and have slumber parties and all that, but she was INSANELY STRICT and the older I got, she was just way too hard on me. She married my grandfather when I was about 7 or 8, and by age 11 she'd practically become a drill sargeant with me. I think it made me a stronger person, maybe "harder" than some NFs, and forced me to develop my Te at a younger age. I am both thankful to her for that, yet pained by the anger she instilled into me.

    So there you go.

  9. #49
    Yeah, I can fly. Aleksei's Avatar
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    Oh, the thread was about describing my mother. My bad.

    Well, my mom is really cool, to say the least. Very affectionate, will always be looking to cheer you up and always has a smile on her face. Great artist (Arguably the greatest poet this little country's ever seen. She came in 7th in an international female poet meet -- and she was the only one who didn't have a talent other than reciting her poetry). Tough disciplinarian in a brutally Te manner. She even made fun of herself for it... Called herself the drill sergeant.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    7w6 > 4w3 > 9w8, weakside sp/so

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  10. #50
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    My mom is probably an IXFP. Her expertise is in early childhood education and she was a really fun mother growing up. She was never controlling, but often worried because her life was so hard. She never pressured us to succeed, but we all ended up working hard and loving our education. She specifically told us that she would love us no matter what happened, regardless of what mistakes we ever made in life. One thing I appreciated most was when I was in junior high and had days when I was too stressed to go to school, she would write me a note and believed that sometimes "people just need a day off". I love that she is so non-regimented and free-spirited. She thrives on change. She has no anger or resentment even though her life has been hard, and she encountered horrible people. What I feel worst about is that i don't still hold to her same religious beliefs which causes her some anxiety because she hopes for us all to be together and happy in heaven someday away from all the heartache in the world. :o)
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

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