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Thread: Mothers of NF's

  1. #31
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    My mother is INFP. A carefree and childlike spirit that happens to be compulsive in her later years and is a challenge communicating with. I understand where her pain comes from and listen to her and get along with her the most from my family naturally. Its like something inside of her just went a long time ago out of the loneliness, she does have a negative attitude. She certainly daydreams, sings and is aloof heaps.

  2. #32
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    My mother is an ISFJ. She is very much the "Super Mom" type: cooks very well, keeps the home spotless, sews/knits, gardens, is very active in her church/volunteering, etc. Her positives greatly outweigh her negatives. We have a mostly good relationship, but not without the little snags every mother-daughter have. My greatest annoyance is that she can guilt-trip, nag, scold, and be very nosy (typical mom, though, right?). I understand her motive is not bad though, and it's because she cares, but it has anchored me where I have not wanted to be anchored. She fears losing her children to an irrational point at times....

    One other point of grievance I have is that my mom is much more emotionally expressive than I am (most of my family is), and she often fails to understand my way of feeling/expressing emotion. When I first got into MBTI, I had a hard time seeing myself as a Feeling type and tested INTP because my idea of Feeling was of a very SFJ type. A few times my mom accused me of being cold/selfish and that was hurtful to me as a child. It's taken me time to see I just have a different way of approaching emotional matters & that is NOT a bad thing. Outside of my family, I see people viewing me very differently: more sweet, more compassionate, etc.

    The best thing about having an ISFJ mom is how nurturing and encouraging she was to me as a shy, creative child. I was never criticized for being artsy, offbeat, dreamy, etc. My mom love culture & art, and I was often taken to the library and museums, etc; that natural side of myself was encouraged and even celebrated. I also was given structure & learned social protocol, in a good way....probably why I am not a slob and I can appreciate the value of a thank-you note .

    My mom was also was timid herself as a youth, and she never criticized me for not being as outgoing/friendly as my older ESFP sister. While my mom is very self-sacrificing as most ISFJ profiles indicate them to be, she has backbone and like all the women in my family, tends to wear the pants in her marriage. I think that has influenced me to seem/be less "gentle" than some might expect of an INFP. At work, school, etc, if I was not sure how to deal with a conflict, then I would often get the push from my mom, and now I am less timid than I might be naturally. I have a feeling my ESFJ grandma pushed her when she was a timid, young ISFJ.

    And this was much longer than I intended....
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  3. #33
    Glycerine
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    INFP-she's really cheesy and one of the sweetest people I know. I have a rather strong bond w/ her. She's one of the "light and fluffy" INFPs. This is a good contrast to her over-analytical, sometimes way too serious ENFJ daughter. Her care-free and calm personality helps to me to step back and get back to reality in my times of crisis.

  4. #34
    Junior Member Willywallywoo's Avatar
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    I was raised by both my grandmother and mom..

    My mom was an INFJ or ENFJ, though she never cared directly about being liked as far as I could tell.
    She was extremely imaginative and had an amazing, colorfull and rich inner world. She wrote books and manuscripts for film (not famous though), books was her life, she had tons of them and adored all of them. She also studied litterature sience.
    She was into everything from mystic subjects, to history, to metaphysical subjects, to religion history (she was very spiritual also, though I wont say religious either in a traditional form), to society in general and politics- and was extremely into welfare and "good".
    As a mom she was extremely caring, loving, present, involved, supportive, encouraging, never-ending interessted in everything about me, albeit a tad bit overprotective lol. We had a very strong bond, and an almost co-dependant relationship due to the fact we both had that need of helping eachother. We also shared humour. She was the only person to ever see me really mad lol--usually due to this-> Her downside, and the only one I can pinpoint was that she neglected herself a lot and didnt take good enough care of her own needs (Which i recognize very well).
    She was an amazing and charismatic person, unfortunatly she passed away fairly young not too long ago.

    My gran was an ENTJ and she had her role in my parenting also.
    She was rather strict and bossy at times, but very kind hearted and fun.

  5. #35
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    ISFJ or ISFP. I think ISFP, because she's very emotional. I can't remember her ever being happy. She is too responsible, but she has many hobbies. She always tells we that she wants to go travelling to far countries. I tell her to do that, she tells me that she can't because she hasn't got time, I tell her to make time for herself and then she tells me that it's impossible. She's very negative. She loves romcoms, she really cares what others think about her and the rest of the family. She also thinks very negative about herself, she thinks she's ugly, stupid an boring, while she isn't. I feel bad for her.
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
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  6. #36
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    My Mum's a ISFJ and is a strange person of extremes.

    She's very maternal, open-hearted, understanding of individuality and has a strong sense of morality. I love her intellectual and cultured mind and her wide interest in a range of subjects - we can talk for hours about all sorts of things. I appreciate that she encourages but never lectures me and is forgiving of my weaknesses. But she is also frequently over-emotional and over-sensitive. Her lack of personal insight and refusal to challenge her own views and behaviours drives me crazy. She can be so incredibly rigid in her opinions without really being able to justify her views and tends to jump to conclusions and judgements. I really hate that she won't watch a film that is challenging, depressing or asks too many questions of the audience. She can make something small and insignificant into a mountain and has the stress levels that go with it. She is a terrible nagger, especially to my Dad but if you try to address the issue she gets upset, angry and defensive.

    In terms of influence: I learnt a lot of things regarding morality, respect for others, and personal responsibility from her, which are the most valuable gifts she gave me. I appreciated her never pushing me into becoming what she wanted. I was always left to choose my own path in life and she was always there to support that (and bite her lip when necessary). However I do feel that I may have benefited from a push now and then, and I regret times when some advice and direction from her may have helped. She has always had problems with self-esteem, which I have also have had, however I feel I deal with it so much better than her. One of her biggest influences on me has been her lack of emotional control and self-awareness which heightened my strong personal emphasis on self-possession and introspection.

  7. #37
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    My mum is ENFJ. While she can be a little outspoken on occasion, it is only when it is something that really matters and will affect the welfare of someone else. She's one of the most involved, sacrificing mothers I have met. She is energetic, creative, strong, unexpectedly funny, orderly and a great sounding board to discuss ideas with. Throughout my adult life we talk to each other pretty much every day and I would consider her my best friend. I think because my dad was less involved with us growing up, and even though he cares does not put himself in other's shoes emotionally sometimes my mum tried to overcompensate, particularly in my oldest brother's case.
    This is EXACTLY my mother, who is also an ENFJ. I love her to no end. If I have a problem, it is her problem too, and she is fierce. She is very loving and strong, and.. YES, definitely unexpectedly funny!

  8. #38
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Shouldn't we be including birth order in this? I have 3 siblings (+2 more and a parent change after I was 7) so birthorder would be an interesting part of it.

  9. #39
    morose bourgeoisie
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    MOM: probably ESFJ.

    I never felt understood by her in the slightest, but she will accept my reasoning and hep me with anything. She is very open to new experiences and very caring. If I called her right now and asked for $20,000, she would write a check with no questions asked. I'm sure of that.

    My dad was a bi-polar INTP. His mental illness covered the family and my mother like a shadow.

  10. #40
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    My INFJ mom was very understanding and wasn't strict at all, she let me go out and experience the world on my own. She used to have tons of friends and was active in the church community but for some reason became a hermit, she said she didn't like how all the Korean ladies gossiped. When I was a child I rarely saw her mad, not until I was a teenager. I saw her reallllly freak out a few times, that's where I get my temper I guess. My mom is soft spoken, very sweet, and responsible, she wears the pants in the relationship always keeping my dad on point. I love me mum <3
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