[NF] Can NFs be ruthless, cruel or evil?

[Wonkavision]

I personally think NF cruelty can be the most damaging. It's unexpected, most NFs make you feel safe and secure. They make you feel that you can trust that they wouldn't hurt you because they usually come across as very empathetic. Then bam...

Guilty.

Sorry to those who've been blindsided by it.

 

[Thalassa]

I think NFs are most likely to fall under the category "they act that way because somebody hurt them" to explain their cruelty. While a T might act insensitively out of being overly logical, or just not being tuned in to others' needs, an F is more likely I think to overcompensate for being hurt by others when lashing back.

I suffer from depression. The problem is that often when I go into depression, instead of lying in bed and doing nothing (although I have done that, trust me!) I have been in situations where instead I had very little choice other than to "keep pushing through it" so I wouldn't lay down and die. I become externally goal-oriented, harsh, hardened and bossy so that I can't feel my own pain. It takes so much energy for me to do this - because it isn't a natural state to me - that I get angry at other people and want to make them miserable too. I want love, but push people away so they can't hurt me anymore than I'm already hurting.

Then, um, yeah - at those times I can seem pretty convincingly cruel and ruthless though I'm falling apart inside.

Evil, on the other hand, is a natural every day fact of my life, as I am inclined to have a twisted sense of humor.

 

[CuriousFeeling]

NFs can be ruthless, cruel, or evil. Try double crossing one, and you'll get hell to pay.

 

[Snuggletron]

anything is possible. Type doesn't restrict the villain.

 

[Halla74]

From what I've seen, yes, but rarely.

Once I pissed my INFJ wife off it became apparent to me that regardless of how sweet and fluffy and wonderful she is, that there is a dark side...oh yes.

 

[HollyGolightly]

Don't mess with an INFJ!

 

[jcloudz]

I have no issue with laying the law down on those who are fraudulent but those undeserving?i`d have to think about it . I don`t blind side, I prefer to keep my word, even an impression I may give feels like a promise im making and so I don`t make many promises and openly state possibilities or decisions that will occur or may occur. just less things for me to account for before my head hits the pillow. The value of what i say should not change from one day to the next, the value should carry into the next and after, other wise im a hot air balloon.

 

[Thalassa]

Oh, and also, Hitler.

 

[cafe]

Yeah but empathy is hard-wired into the brain. It's not like you decide you want to be an NF. You are born an NF. Read this article: Empathy is hard-wired into the mind, study finds - Los Angeles Times

The NFs I've known said that they feel huge discomfort when punishing someone or when someone is being embarrassed or feeling bad. They are much more apt at simulating the pain of others on their own flesh than thinkers.

Every NF I've ever met has had a very developed capacity for sympathy and was hypersensitive to people's feelings and needs. Their brains are just genetically predisposed to do that. If you don't think of people's feelings first, then try doing the mbti test again, and this time be sincere when answering questions because you're probably a thinker under a mask of a feeler.

So my point is that it's genetically hard wired into the brain. They can choose to believe that being a bastard is good but when they start doing it in practice it's going to hurt them.

Thing is, sometimes people's interests collide. When that happens and I'm loyal to someone the person who is hurting them is the enemy and I don't feel particular empathy to them because my feelings for the wronged party overrides those feelings. I'm like a bear robbed of her cubs. I might feel bad later or I might not, but the enemy gets little consideration in the heat of the moment. And if someone is a consistent bully, I think it's funny when something happens to them, even if I feel a little ashamed about it. I can get on a crusade against someone I believe is unjustly oppressing others and the empathy is put on hold, at least for a time. Life experience has convinced me that sometimes violence is the answer.

Empathy is hardwired into humans as a species. NFs seem to be a bit more in touch with it than some other types, but that doesn't mean we lack the other hard-wiring like tribalism and self-interest.

 

[Uytuun]

Oh, and also, Hitler.

Seriously, my INFJ grandfather reminds me of how true that typing can be every time I visit.

 

[cafe]

From what I've seen, yes, but rarely.

Once I pissed my INFJ wife off it became apparent to me that regardless of how sweet and fluffy and wonderful she is, that there is a dark side...oh yes.

My husband calls me a Mama Bear and says he doesn't even consider not being nice to me because he knows I would stab him in his sleep. My grandpa once told someone if they were good to me I wouldn't give them any trouble, leaving it to the imagination what might happen if they were not.

 

[wren]

i have a hard time forgiving people and especially as a young nf i was very cruel and mean at times when i felt hurt by something someone said or did or rejection. i was also extraverted feeler (hence infj not p) and cued into group or significant others' standards (for lack of a better word) and channeled their bad energy onto a situation or became a conduit for their wrath. of course i always seemed to take the brunt of others' awful spirit and as i look back on my life i justify my actions as perhaps better than if the animosity had not been buffered through my feeling side. the biggest problem i always had was my gravitation towards people in general. i was always damned.

mostly my cruelty is placed against myself. working on this.

 

[Charmed Justice]

Some of the adjectives from the profiles, describing NFs are: compassionate, nurturing, insightful and encouraging, altruistic, inspiring, warmly affectionate and affirming, empathetic, caring...

Now I'm thinking how can such a person be evil? I think it's not possible.

Sure, they can hurt people unintentionally due to their immaturity or stupidity but they just can't be heartless bastards because it goes against everything they believe in.

A good friend of mine is an ENFP and I'm amazed at his levels of empathy. There was this youtube video of a shark with retarded teeth and it was hilarious so I showed it to him. This one: YouTube - Shark with funny teeth

And guess what? He didn't like it. He said he felt bad for the shark. lol I really didn't believe him and I asked if he was fucking kidding me? He insisted that he was telling the truth and I believed him because he really doesn't lie to me. Even if he did lie I could tell because we have this weird connection.

Ok, I'm thinking this is gonna be a very short topic because everyone's gonna agree with me, but I'm going to post it anyway. There will probably be some INTP who will disagree with me just for the fun of it.

I didn't laugh at the shark video, but it has nothing to do with my empathy. I just didn't think the guy in the background made for a funny video.

I got paddled in 5th grade for laughing at feces that I discovered on the floor while singing Christmas carols to the elderly in a nursing home. I caught a glimpse of the feces at the same time as my best friend, we caught each other's eye, laughed under our breath, but ended up getting really tickled. The more we tried to hold it in, the funnier it all became. Unfortunately, once I'm tickled about something, it's nearly impossible for me to make myself stop.

In a similar situation, I had to get up and stand outside of a restaurant once because my mother and I got so tickled about the way our server was talking, and neither one of us could stop laughing when we looked at each other. There are many things I find funny that I tell myself I "should not". I feel terrible after laughing at someone who wasn't intending on being funny because then I wonder how I've negatively impacted them or if I've lowered their self-esteem or something.

So in any case, clearly I have the ability to be an insensitive ass, but I wouldn't label those incidences as either cruel, ruthless, or evil. I'm sure some would though, and I wouldn't argue with that opinion.

Now, I have been emotionally cruel, of the intentional kind. It takes a whole lot, but I'm not above it. In order for me to intentionally be cruel to someone, they have to have been intentionally and repetitively cruel to me, without me being able to stop them(by trying to convince them, or by bringing the situation to their attention). Still human here.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

...Without a doubt.

In fact, ruthless, cruel, or evil are my default modes.

 

[Penda]

Absolutely not. Whatever I believe becomes, by default, unadulterated good.

 

[Ace_]

IMO Hitler was an ENTJ but let's not turn another thread into a Hitler thread.

Is it possible for you to turn off or ignore your logical analysis sometimes? If it is, then it's possible for NFs to turn off or ignore their empathy when it suits them.

Yes it is possible but I couldn't do it all the time. I'd feel like I'm stepping all over myself, over the things that make me who I am.

In the OP I didn't mean cruel or evil in a single event in time, I meant consistently through your life, like a mean boss or a drug dealer. And perhaps on a larger scale. I think for an NF to be cruel or evil all their life would be like for an NT to make themselves look stupid and incompetent all the time. And life is not like that. Life is all about avoiding unpleasant experiences.

It's the worst compliment in the world to call an NF mean or evil. Just like it's the worst compliment in the world to call an NT dumb or incompetent.

Also, I'm looking at the MBTI definition of feeling and thinking.

Feeling:

- Do I consider how others feelings will be affected by my decision?
- Which words describe me better: logical and analytical, or sensitive and empathetic?
- Is it more important to be truthful, even if it hurts someone's feelings or to be tactful, even if it means telling a little white lie? (tactful being a feeler ofc).
- Also there's a question in almost every test: mercy or justice?

How can a cruel, mean, evil person consider everyone's feelings before making a decision, be sensitive and empathetic and tactful not to offend anyone and also value mercy?

The MBTI description of a feeler is written in such a manner that you can't be an evil feeler. If you are, then you're not a feeler.

 

[Virtual ghost]

IMO Hitler was an ENTJ but let's not turn another thread into a Hitler thread.



Yes it is possible but I couldn't do it all the time. I'd feel like I'm stepping all over myself, over the things that make me who I am.

In the OP I didn't mean cruel or evil in a single event in time, I meant consistently through your life, like a mean boss or a drug dealer. And perhaps on a larger scale. I think for an NF to be cruel or evil all their life would be like for an NT to make themselves look stupid and incompetent all the time. And life is not like that. Life is all about avoiding unpleasant experiences.

It's the worst compliment in the world to call an NF mean or evil. Just like it's the worst compliment in the world to call an NT dumb or incompetent.

Also, I'm looking at the MBTI definition of feeling and thinking.

Feeling:

- Do I consider how others feelings will be affected by my decision?
- Which words describe me better: logical and analytical, or sensitive and empathetic?
- Is it more important to be truthful, even if it hurts someone's feelings or to be tactful, even if it means telling a little white lie? (tactful being a feeler ofc).
- Also there's a question in almost every test: mercy or justice?

How can a cruel, mean, evil person consider everyone's feelings before making a decision, be sensitive and empathetic and tactful not to offend anyone and also value mercy?

The MBTI description of a feeler is written in such a manner that you can't be an evil feeler. If you are, then you're not a feeler.

Yes, but this is where their thinking side comes in.

 

[yenom]

IMO Hitler was an ENTJ but let's not turn another thread into a Hitler thread.



Yes it is possible but I couldn't do it all the time. I'd feel like I'm stepping all over myself, over the things that make me who I am.

In the OP I didn't mean cruel or evil in a single event in time, I meant consistently through your life, like a mean boss or a drug dealer. And perhaps on a larger scale. I think for an NF to be cruel or evil all their life would be like for an NT to make themselves look stupid and incompetent all the time. And life is not like that. Life is all about avoiding unpleasant experiences.

It's the worst compliment in the world to call an NF mean or evil. Just like it's the worst compliment in the world to call an NT dumb or incompetent.

Also, I'm looking at the MBTI definition of feeling and thinking.

Feeling:

- Do I consider how others feelings will be affected by my decision?
- Which words describe me better: logical and analytical, or sensitive and empathetic?
- Is it more important to be truthful, even if it hurts someone's feelings or to be tactful, even if it means telling a little white lie? (tactful being a feeler ofc).
- Also there's a question in almost every test: mercy or justice?

How can a cruel, mean, evil person consider everyone's feelings before making a decision, be sensitive and empathetic and tactful not to offend anyone and also value mercy?

The MBTI description of a feeler is written in such a manner that you can't be an evil feeler. If you are, then you're not a feeler.

i don't know, cult leaders can be evil and most of them are NFs.
No one is 100% F.

 

[Parrish]

I guess just as any other type could be. Sometimes the ideals could go wrong, or it`s the "cruel only to be kind" thing, some are just immature. Or I guess when someone reaaally pushes our buttons we could just go with the flow and make a cruel sarcastic remark about something personal we know will sting. But we try not to do that, really, cuz even if we did, after the high moment we`d be back to our usual selves and would regret hurting you very much. We are however supposed to be fascinated by the dark side...not just because of the cookies
And I don`t know if it`s a Nf thing (probably not), but we do have a somewhat weird sense of humour, and sarcasm is used in high quantities, so we could also be cruel without realizing it... until we see the expression on your face. Sorry.

 

[Thalassa]

Ah...I think acting irrationally upon anger or hurt isn't a very logical thing to do. You should take this into consideration before you assume that you have be a T to behave with cruelty.

Although I will admit that evil behavior is probably more associated with the two NFs that have tertiary T - INFJs and their sinister reputation, and ENFPs rage i.e. let me bulldoze you with my Te.