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  1. #61
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    I know im late but ill tell you this. These are not ENFP traits, these are super immature ENFP traits. But if you like him you like him theres no changing that. I think if you be bluntly honest to him about how you feel about him he'll immedietely cut the bs.

  2. #62
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    To me it just sounds like you are both game playing. You both like each other and neither of you wants to own up and be honest about it. The chemistry must be mind boggling but you both consistently run the risk of getting hurt by the other.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  3. #63
    Post-Humorously stalemate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GemPOPGem View Post
    To me it just sounds like you are both game playing. You both like each other and neither of you wants to own up and be honest about it. The chemistry must be mind boggling but you both consistently run the risk of getting hurt by the other.
    This was my take as well. Just sounds like immature game playing on both sides, and I'm not sure that him being ENFP is really significant here.

  4. #64
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    TheScientist,

    Wasn't this guy the same one that lied about the number of women he slept with mentioned in another thread? Something like that? I remember you mentioning about that.

    Basically, from what I recall, he was a real jerk, right? Or was there a misunderstanding/things have been sorted out?

    Personally, I think when anyone's vindictive, they drink their own poison, not the best way to go about life. Then again- he may just be an unhealthy ENFP.

  5. #65
    Junior Member megm87's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunshinEnfp View Post
    I definitely semi-punished her by not being my normal laughable, fun self and she commented on it several times. "Are you feeling okay? Are you really tired?" But in my mind I thought: no, you don't get out of this easily and get happy normal me. You have to sit here and YOU have to work for our conversation to be fun. I'm done!

    Again, not my best moment, but maybe it answers your question or sheds a little insight?

    Also, I just want to say: even though we ENFPs feel things deeply, we do not necessarily always want to. Him getting defensive shows that he cares, but he could be struggling with not WANTING to care. He does not want those little things to bother him and yet they do. It becomes a kind of battle with one's self.
    I haven't read past this particular post/response yet (I plan on reading all of the responses and will then probably have to comment again) but I just felt a need to full heartedly agree/express complete understanding for what you have described! I definitely have a vindictive side of me (that I know is immature!) that often comes out in very passive-aggressive ways.

    For instance I catch myself experiencing very unnecessary jealousy sometimes (whether it be with friends or my - actually INTJ - boyfriend) and when this happens I shut down. It's so frustrating because I feel trapped by the emotion, I know that it's stupid, unwarranted and petty but I still can't help feeling overwhelmed with it! So then I have an 'argument' or conflict going on in myself which probably comes out very oddly externally to the people or person I'm around. I will as you said become my 'not funny' or not light-hearted self and not talk alot or become 'really focused' (fake focused) on something around me like a book (out of nowhere - one minute I'm conversing and then the anger or jealousy comes from something situational or something said in conversation and I become engrossed in this random thing and not talkative.) The worst part when this happens (and as I've gotten older I have been able to get more control over it and over time it happens less and less) is how one part of me wants so bad for the person to realize that I am hurt or upset and the other part secretly doesn't because it knows it is petty and stupid. So then I am halfway acting suddenly uninterested but the minute the person 'catches on' to the fact that I'm upset or jealous or whatever I instantly regret showing any of the silly emotion and back out of the plan altogether and pretend nothing is wrong. Now, however the other person must be super confused because I was acting upset but then reassure them that I'm not and go back to acting 'normal' (although this normal acting after they 'catch me' trying to show anger is very forced for me - I'm not sure if the other person can tell that or not, my boyfriend always can but some others I think just think I was truly distracted for a second.)

    So you would think 'how in the hell can someone do this more than a few times? Just be mad or don't! It's so weird, and I would love to know if other ENFPs experience this. There are just so many times that I feel emotion and it feels as if it's going to overtake me but then the 'other voice' in my head (probably the one seeing how the actions will play out once they are out in the open) is trying to shove the emotion back down and make it go away since it is more often than not petty and stupid.

    Another related point is that sometimes the feelings of anger or jealousy or w/e are actually justified but I feel stupid for not being 'easy going' and able to just 'roll with the punches.' And again have an emotional conflict. Part of me wants to express how upset I am by x, y or z and then the other part thinks 'well they might think you're not as fun or easy going as they expect you to be - and maybe this isn't worth getting riled up over.' Makes me sound like a crazy person haha! However, as I said earlier I have grown out of this alot over the past few years (I'm now 23) and have learned to fight for myself when it is actually justified and to ignore it when it's not. And the good news is that if it is not justified then it will go away and the next day I will feel glad that I didn't say anything (if it is justified then it tends to stick around.)

    Also, one thing that has helped me in my relationship with my INTJ boyfriend is that alot of times when I do feel the petty jealousy or anger I tell him that I'm feeling it but that I know it it's stupid and we can kind of talk it out. And I can also apologize for even feeling that way (which he will reassure me it's okay) and once I've got the emotion 'off my chest' to him I can breathe again and put it behind me and let my more logical self come back in control.

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