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  1. #11
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    I was as friendly as always when I left the gym. I finished my workout wished him a good nite. Even paused to chat. Not sure how that is being immature. Perhaps my reasons behind it were but those were not obvious. I was not doing it in VENGEANCE. It was me trying to regain some kind of emotional distance and protection. I dont want to get hurt again. I still like the bastard.

    I was NOT trying to make him jealous. I did not say anything about what I was doing that night.

    Anyhow, I wasnt looking for responses specific to my example. I was just wondering in general if this is something that's common in ENFP's and if something in particular triggers it.
    It definitely seems like he picked up on what you were doing. It wasnt obvious, but ENFPs are known for picking up on the hidden very easily.

  2. #12
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nomadic View Post
    btw, I dunno how, but it is VERY VERY Obvious to me if a girl I am dating met another guy she likes inbetween now and the last time we saw each other.

    They act a little more cooler, little more distant, and have this "I can't be overcome" vibe about them. If its fake or not, I personally wanna probe it and see if its a front or real. I can ALWAYS tell if this girl is thinking about me a lot or not. Especially if she did think about me a lot at one point. You can't hide it.
    I dont know about that. This ENFP always thinks I hate him. Until recently where I explicitly told him under the effects of some alcohol: "I like you so much it's pathetic." To which he responded: "No you dont, you always call me an asshole or a scumbag."

    We've got a love/hate thing going. But after I made it clear that I like him as a person and dont hate his guts anymore for the shit he put me through, things have been much better as of late.

  3. #13
    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    "I like you so much it's pathetic." To which he responded: "No you dont, you always call me an asshole or a scumbag."
    oh gawd. he's tryna be cute and u know it.

    get a room already! haha

  4. #14
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nomadic View Post
    oh gawd. he's tryna be cute and u know it.

    get a room already! haha
    Not really. He didnt speak to me for 2 whole days when I made him read a humurous and not-so-nice description of ENFP and said it was him to a T. He behaved like a petulant child. I felt like telling him to grow a friggin backbone! But i didnt. I minded my own business and didnt react to his little tantrum and he eventually came around.

    He's super sensitive. You shoulda seen his face the first time I called him an asshole.

    I'll remind you INTJ's are not the most tactful people. And this ENFP is always needing reassurance from me. Which I dont give very often...unless he's being extra nice that day.

  5. #15
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malkavia View Post
    It definitely seems like he picked up on what you were doing. It wasnt obvious, but ENFPs are known for picking up on the hidden very easily.
    Why do I feel like I can never hide from the ENFP?! If that's the case, then it should be obvious to him that I like him A LOT! So why on earth does he need so much reassuring from me?!

  6. #16
    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    haha ok.

    I actually can't think of any INTJ women I know, thats the thing. I know you guys are rare. i guess cus usually i've beem meeting in the club environments for the past year or two. but outside of there the closest i've met are a few infj's recently...

    lolz obviously he likes you. you know it. next ur gonna use something from this thread to humiliate him if he makes you mad. hahahahaha

    GET A ROOM ALREADY! lolz

  7. #17
    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    btw, the reason he needs so much reassurance from you is because you mentally abuse him so much. LOLZ

    But you LIKE THAT! y are u complaining about something u like him doing... lolz

  8. #18
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by noigmn View Post
    Most of the time ENFPs make exceptions for things though, which is why I think there is something bigger on his mind that he is aiming to change. Or else he is just playing hard to get and sending it straight back at you. Seems a little too angled for playtime though.
    hmmmmmm....what on earth could it be? I think you may be on to something.

    I'm hoping the lovely Amargith will chime in!

  9. #19
    Member sunshinEnfp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    Anyhow, I wasnt looking for responses specific to my example. I was just wondering in general if this is something that's common in ENFP's and if something in particular triggers it.
    I would not say that I am vindictive, in particular, but... if you mean, slightly so--as in your examples, then perhaps... I have not explored this part of myself much, but... I do think that I am sensitive and so I just try to mirror what people give to me. If you all of a sudden shut down to me, then I will shut down to you as a means of self-protection.

    An example comes to mind that will perhaps provide some insight. One of my friends ended up throwing this party and there was a lot of drama and basically, I feel like she manipulated me into being involved for her own selfish reasons. We ended up talking about it later and it seemed like it was water under the bridge. But it wasn't for me, for whatever reason. Anyway, we were supposed to meet up to go to lunch and I had taken public transportation. I figured she would meet me with her car. I was running a couple of minutes late, but a part of me said, "Well, it's okay, she kind of deserves it." (Again, this is not my most favorite thing sharing this story because I know that kind of thinking is wrong and immature.) Well, turns out, she was taking public transportation as well and she met up with me about 45 minutes later. This infuriated me. I guess in my mind, I felt that she needed to be punished in a subtle way, I guess I wanted to regain back some power, but here she was again, the one in control. Well, she got to where we were supposed to meet and texted me to come meet her. I did (thinking I made her wait a couple of minutes) but when I got there, she was NOT THERE! She decided to go ahead and head to the restaurant, knowing I did not know where it was! So this just made me more upset. I just felt like she was gaining more and more power and I felt defenseless. Maybe I felt this way because I felt like she had taken advantage of me before and I did not want it to happen again. I don't think I would ever act this way with someone who had not violated my trust, but I did feel a need to get vindictive in a PETTY WAY. I definitely semi-punished her by not being my normal laughable, fun self and she commented on it several times. "Are you feeling okay? Are you really tired?" But in my mind I thought: no, you don't get out of this easily and get happy normal me. You have to sit here and YOU have to work for our conversation to be fun. I'm done!

    Again, not my best moment, but maybe it answers your question or sheds a little insight?

    Also, I just want to say: even though we ENFPs feel things deeply, we do not necessarily always want to. Him getting defensive shows that he cares, but he could be struggling with not WANTING to care. He does not want those little things to bother him and yet they do. It becomes a kind of battle with one's self.

  10. #20
    Senior Member professor goodstain's Avatar
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    we are not vindictive. it only appears that way because we maintain better karma than the others from presenting just enough transparency of the others by allowing the others to show their own transparency by virtue of our karma.
    our karma is better than most due to our awareness by being transparent
    i believe it to be a self taught skill more than luck, yet gained by luck via our nature.
    everyone uses every function about evenly. take NE for example. if there are those who don't use it much, then why are there such massive amounts of people constantly flowing through Wallmart with 20 items or less?

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