• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[ENFJ] ENFJs, why are you so fake?

KDude

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2010
Messages
8,243
I'm honestly curious what the relationship is between F types. Why would one really would be "fake" or "authentic".. Or are those are just extreme examples?

I assert F in extroverted way enough (or at least, I'm generally socially aware enough, and take things into account like Fe to a point).

In Socionics, both the INFps and ENFjs are mirrors, and both have Fe (Fe's defined slightly differently though). In MBTI, it's expected of me to shell up or something. I call bullshit. That sounds like an issue that's beyond typology in a way.
 

ExAstrisSpes

New member
Joined
Aug 11, 2010
Messages
337
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Thanks for that..
But I put lots and lots of effort into my Poker face and my "I don't give a damn about anything" attitude.

I don't like Idea of caring at all. I wish I didn't.
I never act like I care.
I simply do care, and get accused of not expressing how much I care too often.

It's like people don't know what the hell they want from others.

::sigh:: We're damned if we do, and we're damned if we don't. If we care about someone, and express that, then we're being smothering and too cutesy and etc. etc. etc.

We have to hide that we care because if we don't we'll drive everyone else crazy with all our :hug:
 

luminous beam

♪♫♪♫♪♫
Joined
Feb 12, 2008
Messages
744
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
2w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
^ I don't think you guys are damned if you or you don't at all. I think how people are defining the word 'fake' is not being understood or expressed correctly.
 

DaMilkyWay<3

New member
Joined
Dec 11, 2008
Messages
14
MBTI Type
enxp
Enneagram
7
I understand what you mean, however, I guess what some people might refer to as "fake" is not just the act of being cordial...but going out of your way to sound cordial even when you don't really mean what you're saying, especially if you actually feel the opposite from it. Ex. saying: "Wow, I love your hair! A short hairstyle looks really good on you!" really thinking: "ugh, that's so ugly. It makes her face look fat." That could be considered a white lie, but when applied to something like love for example, it could really hurt or upset others when they actually believe the cordialness lol Ex. boy says "I love you, you're the woman of my dreams." girl says "I love you too, I want to be with you forever." but really feels "I think I love you...at least as a person...I don't want to hurt him, maybe I'll grow to love him in time." but eventually gets over him and moves on breaking his heart not sooner, but later.

The moral of the story: You may have good intentions and sugar coat a lot of stuff for sake of sparing other's feelings now or getting them to like you. But in reality, the truth usually comes out and a lot of the times it hurts...that's life.

This is it..EXACTLY.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
^ LOL, I don't do shit like that.... I am known for being a bit too blunt so stop insinuating that all ENFJs are fake. Some are and some aren't. i have had Fi users tell me to "shut it" or "that was mean" so seriously give up on it already.
 

Sparrow

New member
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
2,366
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I know what you mean! If I dont like your hair I wont bring it up...lol.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
I know what you mean! If I dont like your hair I wont bring it up...lol.
hahaha, on the flipside, if I don't like you but you look really pretty or did a great job on something, I won't hesitate to compliment you. Why should my dislike of someone cloud all of their positives? That is not being fake because I really mean it even if I dislike your guts. I can still see people's strengths even if I don't like them so I don't see why I can't acknowledge them. However, I will still be very cordial and stiff (it's really easy to tell if I really like you or not).
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
I say "It's not the greatest but it's alright..." or "it's not the most flattering on you."
 

Arclight

Permabanned
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
3,177
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
what if i ask you about it though? do you still tell a "nice lie" ?

No.. then if you want to get personal, so will I.. I will say something like "It's not my thing" or " I actually liked it better before"

And then because most people can't handle criticism. They get butt hurt and misdirect their own insecurities outward and blame me for being an "asshole".

So which is it? people say they want the truth and total honesty, But I have yet to meet the person who can deal with it.

Everybody tells white lies in the name of social peace. EVERYBODY!!.. If we didn't.. we would have no friends.. In fact humanity would be long gone. Can you just imagine what would happen if every time someone asked "isn't my baby the cutest thing ever?" if people told the truth????..
Murder.. someone would die, and then it would eventually escalate until someone pushed the button

This is not unique to ENFJs. even the Fe retards have figured this one out..
 

Sparrow

New member
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
2,366
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
what if somebody asks you about it though? do you still tell a "nice lie" ?


"Awe, man I kinda liked your other style better!"

I always get in to fights with my SO about something related to this. Heres how it plays out:

Him: What do you think about this song I made.
Me: Its okay so far, except for the vocal sample, I would use something else.
Him: <--gets all butt hurt and defensive.
Me: Then dont ask me what I think if you dont want my opinion!!!

This happens alot with us...he asks for my opinion, then gets mad when I tell him what I think! This has happend over hair too lol.

Tons of ENFJs arent fake :) we are genuine, if we say I like something we usually mean it, and we are pretty vocal about things we like. If we dont like something we are honest, but tactful about whatever it is we have to say. Generally its not our style to be super rude and mean about things we dont like...unless a line is crossed, then it can get scary and mean. I sound like a broken record, sorry guys.
 

Arclight

Permabanned
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
3,177
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
"Awe, man I kinda liked your other style better!"

I always get in to fight with my SO about something related to this. Heres how it plays out:

Him: What do you think about this song I made.
Me: Its okay so far, except for the vocal sample, I would use something else.
Him: <--gets all butt hurt and defensive.
Me: Then dont ask me what I think if you dont want my opinion!!!

This happens alot with us...he asks for my opinion, then gets mad when I tell him what I think! This has happend over hair too lol.

Tons of ENFJs arent fake :) we are genuine, if we say I like something we usually mean it, and we are pretty vocal about things we like. If we dont like something we are honest, but tactful about whatever it is we have to say. Generally its not our style to be super rude and mean about things we dont like...unless a line is crossed, then it can get scary and mean. I sound like a broken record, sorry guys.

You sound like a broken record because the same questions keep being asked over and over no matter how many times we answer it.

I think this is because, these are not the answers people are looking for.
Again , people don't want the truth.

I guess until someone says "Fine.. Fe is fake, ENFJs are manipulative and evil and we should be burned at the stake"
These questions are just going to keep coming.

No one wants to hear we are genuine.. because that just shows them that their suspicions mean it's them with the problem and the lack of genuine feeling.

A liar always thinks everyone is lying. A thief thinks everyone is going to steal from him/her sort of thing.
 

Sparrow

New member
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
2,366
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Totally! Same thing over and over again.

RAWR!
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
If someone wants to light burning wood under me, I just ask if they really truly wish to be beaten with flaming logs.
 

Emmilou

New member
Joined
Jul 21, 2010
Messages
35
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
2w1
We're fake because we're afraid you won't like the real us
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Well of course they won't like the real us! We're devils! And we smell like soup! Soup hatin' jackasses!
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
but i like soup :shrug:

Sympathy for the (Fe) devil! Eat our soup and feel the fires of our wrath! Also, feel free to help yourself to the fresh garlic bread and ice-cold beer. We have plenty.
 

Emmilou

New member
Joined
Jul 21, 2010
Messages
35
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
2w1
Also Fe is the function most prone to "fakeness" which really just refers to untrue to yourself in order to please others. But I don't think Fe users are being fake at all, it's just that it's being true to themselves to alter their values in accordance with the society they are a part of.
 
Top