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  1. #191
    ♪♫♪♫♪♫ luminous beam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    Hmmm.. Well yesterday I told a guy at work that I would prefer he just keeps his distance from me..
    I was polite, cordial and succinct.

    I see no distinction between my feelings and my manners.

    So what now?

    I could have tore him a new asshole and explained exactly why he makes my skin crawl.
    But to what end? Would that have made it more real somehow?

    Is this fake, or just making an ugly situation at little less potentially explosive?
    I think that is the difference, how "cordial" you are. The longer you draw it out, I think it can be misinterpreted as false intentions. I take the same approach as you, I'm more direct and try to be honest with people without the need to cause a scene or be disrespectful or mean. But I think sometimes Fe just keeps a conversation going and will even say socially accepted compliments (not because these truly apply to the individuals they're speaking to, but because it's 'the nice thing to say') even if the Fe dom person is discontent. The intentions are that of not hurting others and/or at the same time gaining approval and likeability...


  2. #192
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    Quote Originally Posted by luminous beam View Post
    I think that is the difference, how "cordial" you are. The longer you draw it out, I think it can be misinterpreted as false intentions. I take the same approach as you, I'm more direct and try to be honest with people without the need to cause a scene or be disrespectful or mean. But I think sometimes Fe just keeps a conversation going and will even say socially accepted compliments (not because these truly apply to the individuals they're speaking to, but because it's 'the nice thing to say') even if the Fe dom person is discontent. The intentions are that of not hurting others and/or at the same time gaining approval and likeability...
    I think what happens in my case is.. I can see the distinction between the individual, the human race as a whole and the institution or setting where we are.

    I don't like this person (subjective and personal.. the person hasn't done anything wrong per se) . Are they any less a human being because of it?
    Should my own person feelings change the level of respect I give to their humanity?
    What about others in the vicinity? should my personal subjective feelings about another, encroach on their space? Is there protocol that needs to be followed (i.e. We were at work)?

    Finally there is this little thing about getting out of life what you put into it.
    You attract likewise.
    Karma is a bitch.
    If I live a life of rudeness ,conflict and intolerance.
    what am I inviting my way?

    I don't think that is the same as "wanting to be liked"

  3. #193
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by luminous beam View Post
    I understand what you mean, however, I guess what some people might refer to as "fake" is not just the act of being cordial...but going out of your way to sound cordial even when you don't really mean what you're saying, especially if you actually feel the opposite from it. Ex. saying: "Wow, I love your hair! A short hairstyle looks really good on you!" really thinking: "ugh, that's so ugly. It makes her face look fat." That could be considered a white lie, but when applied to something like love for example, it could really hurt or upset others when they actually believe the cordialness lol Ex. boy says "I love you, you're the woman of my dreams." girl says "I love you too, I want to be with you forever." but really feels "I think I love you...at least as a person...I don't want to hurt him, maybe I'll grow to love him in time." but eventually gets over him and moves on breaking his heart not sooner, but later.

    The moral of the story: You may have good intentions and sugar coat a lot of stuff for sake of sparing other's feelings now or getting them to like you. But in reality, the truth usually comes out and a lot of the times it hurts...that's life.
    But how do you know what the ENFJ is thinking? Are you a mind reader?
    Maybe they really like the other persons hairstyle or mean whatever it is their saying .

    If I dont like someones hair, Im not gonna say sh*t about their hair. I guess Im taking the title of this thread way to literally, I keep saying over and over again NOT ALL ENFJs are fake...people of ALL TYPES can be fake. Im over it.

    Unsubscribed...
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  4. #194
    ♪♫♪♫♪♫ luminous beam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparrow View Post
    But how do you know what the ENFJ is thinking? Are you a mind reader?
    Maybe they really like the hairstyle or mean whatever it is their saying .

    If I dont like someones hair, Im not gonna say sh*t about their hair. I guess Im taking the title of this thread way to literally, I keep saying over and over again NOT ALL ENFJs are fake...people of ALL TYPES can be fake. Im over it.

    Unsubscribed...
    lol@ calling suggesting I was a mind reader, I don't really see how that applies. Did it ever occur to you that i have ENFJ friends and colleagues who I see in action on the daily? Also, keep in mind I was speaking about Fe, not just pertaining to ENFJs. I didn't call anyone fake. I myself use my Fe and can attest to my personal experience with it. My ENFJs say nice things to others and then in turn tell me how much they really didn't like something and how they might actually have said the opposite of what was true etc. I am also guilty of this...there is no reason to get so touchy.


  5. #195
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    ENFJs like the idea of being a caring person so they act like they care even when they don't. Kind of like INTJs like they idea of not giving a shit so they act like they don't care even if they do.
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  6. #196
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    ENFJs like the idea of being a caring person so they act like they care even when they don't. Kind of like INTJs like they idea of not giving a shit so they act like they don't care even if they do.
    Thanks for that..
    But I put lots and lots of effort into my Poker face and my "I don't give a damn about anything" attitude.

    I don't like Idea of caring at all. I wish I didn't.
    I never act like I care.
    I simply do care, and get accused of not expressing how much I care too often.

    It's like people don't know what the hell they want from others.

  7. #197
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    I just cared about you said, man!

    Hug?

    Wait.. no.

  8. #198
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    Thanks for that..
    But I put lots and lots of effort into my Poker face and my "I don't give a damn about anything" attitude.

    I don't like Idea of caring at all. I wish I didn't.
    I never act like I care.
    I simply do care, and get accused of not expressing how much I care too often.

    It's like people don't know what the hell they want from others.
    Thanks for that..

    And I really don't care.
    If only people knew how much I don't care.
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  9. #199
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Thanks for that..

    And I really don't care.
    If only people knew how much I don't care.
    If you didn't care.. You wouldn't have felt the need the qualify yourself..

    And really.. you just expressed in a previous post, how you try to act like you don't care , when you really do.

    I swear you guys do all my work for me

  10. #200
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    lol this is hilarious
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

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