There is also value in calming everyone down. When people are placed on the defensive communication crumbles. Perhaps some see it as more honest, but I see the walls come up, the armored image come on in an attempt to self-protect. The true person disintegrates. The true person is often in that quiet moment when they can take a deep breath and let go of that outer shell. Most people have been knocked around hard by life and are laden with defenses. Sometimes just not reacting in anger as everyone else ever has is the best way to connect on that deeper level. It is like connecting to any animal you encounter in the forest. You sit quietly and provide snacks. You are gentle, consistent, quiet, and loving. That is when the animal will approach and let down their instincts of self-preservation and defensiveness.