Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
So, a priest walks into a bar. OK, let me start over. So, the other night I walk into a large bookstore and I immediately see this girl at a table in the coffeehouse section. She's by herself, sipping a coffee and reading a book. She looks up at me, we make brief eye contact, and then we both look away quickly. I browse for several minutes in the "Biography" section and then walk back her way - kind of hoping there might be more eye contact, but kind of dreading it too (afterall, I'm an INTP in public). Sure enough, she looks up and has that sweet but sly NF look.

All I could think was, "I bet she's an INFx. If only I were an ENTP right now." It struck me funny that MBTI was where my mind went first. Anyhow, I wanted to go strike up an interesting conversation with her, but I didn't want to intrude and also it just seems a bit awkward.

Anyhow, this raises the question - do INFx's want to be approached? In a situation like this, where I like what I see in terms of looks and style and some fairly positive eye-contact has been made, should I just walk out the door and go home or should I approach you and at least make some conversation? I guarantee that I can make you laugh at least once, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable at your little corner table in the bookstore coffeehouse. If I know it's awkward for you, then I'm going to get awkward and it's going to get strange for both of us real fast.

Advice, INFx's?
I think just go for it. I mean, at least eight times out of ten, I bet, you'll be successful. No guy who has ever tried to start a conversation with me has been unsuccessful, unless I've only been aware of the attempts of those who have been successful.

I think that eye contact is, if not an invitation to a conversation, at least a good signal that, should you approach them to strike one, they won't be startled. They know you exist now. Their first awareness of your existence won't be when you're breathing down their neck.

What I'd probably do, is try to find a seat somewhere close to her--maybe a table away, so she still has plenty of body space, but you're close enough for sociable interaction. (I know this situation is done and over, but this is for next time.) Then, from your strategic position, interrupt her absorption with her book using your voice. I wouldn't know what to say, but guys have used this approach on me before, at the library, and it's always worked to get my attention in a clear and genial way. One guy, strange enough, had this little--I think teapot--of coffee, and two tiny teacups, on the table where he was sitting. He got my attention by clearly saying, "Would you like some coffee?" I refused at first, laughing, and not believing that some stranger was offering me coffee out of the blue, but he must have been a good salesman, because he got me to drink his coffee, and I liked the chat we had.

It's almost like he had two teacups for exactly the purpose of inviting people to try his coffee. (And yes, I know, women shouldn't accept drinks from strangers, but there were an array of factors that ensured I was totally safe.) It achieved one thing that was probably helpful in starting a conversation, namely, that it got me to get up and walk over to his table.

I think, most of the time, everyone really likes being approached. If you're an amiable guy and just want to have a little conversation, I think that can't help but come across. I really doubt it would make her that uncomfortable, you approaching her. She might be surprised, but surprise quickly gives way to interest. In my case, anyway.