User Tag List

First 5678 Last

Results 61 to 70 of 71

  1. #61
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    2,158

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Grace View Post
    It's a famous Twilight Zone episode with William Shatner. I'm sure the episode did give plenty of people nightmares, my dad for one.
    Is that the episode where that monster looking guy is on the wing of the airplane? I still haven't seen that episode. Jim Carrey did a parody of that episode in Ace Ventura 2.

  2. #62
    Circus Maximus Sarcasticus's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Socionics
    meh
    Posts
    1,037

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by visaisahero View Post
    Visa's How To Approach A Girl 101

    After you've done all the subtle flirting and eye-contact stuff, stare at your phone for a while and pretend to be doing some important messaging. (If you really want this to be especially effective, actually get into a heated, opinionated text-argument with a friend- you can show her the messages yourself, which gives you some opportunity to get physically close to her as well) At some point in time, give an especially exasperated sigh, roll your eyes- something that'll make her notice that you're annoyed with something on your phone. Give her a "tired" i-don't-know-why-i-go-through-this sort of smile, and she'll most probably smile back.

    Ask for her opinion on something. You can't go wrong there. Don't ask for the time, because that's close-ended. Go over, give your most friendly and charming smile (again) and say something along the lines of "sorry to bother you, but i'm in a heated argument and I really need an opinion..." Nobody's going to turn down giving someone an opinion- not even the hottest of girls. If you seem like you genuinely want their opinion, they will most certainly give it to you- it's a small and simple favour that takes no effort to do. Try to ask a question that's complex and needs some thinking. Observe her in advance and try to make it relevant- is she reading a book? is she wearing glasses? is she wearing shoes? you could be pretending to argue with your friend who claims that the girl he likes is going to think he's a creep if he buys her lingerie, but you think it's kinda sweet. Whatever. Do guys cheat on girls more, or vice versa? Who lies more in relationships? Something subjective. Asking a funny but interesting and effective question is an art form in itself. (Pickup artists call this the opener, and often have many different ones at their fingertips.)

    Along the way you end up progressing into a normal conversation, with an escape clause if there isn't any chemistry. Have your body language directed away initially so that she doesn't get uncomfortable with your sudden invasion of her personal space- sit at the side of the seat opposite her, for example, and be on your toes as if you're about to leave any second. If she gives you more attention, slowly and casually move more fully into the seat- and before you know it you're on an impromptu date. Say, have you ever tried the donuts down the street? They're awesome!...

    You're welcome!
    Not bad, but lose the "sorry to bother you, but . . . ".

    You're bothering her? Why are you sorry? Just say, "hey I need a female opinion on something" or whatever feels right to you.

  3. #63
    Senior Member Grace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    426

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    Is that the episode where that monster looking guy is on the wing of the airplane? I still haven't seen that episode. Jim Carrey did a parody of that episode in Ace Ventura 2.
    That's the one. It's quite ridiculous but it did give a lot of people a scare when it first came out.

  4. #64

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sarcasticus View Post
    Not bad, but lose the "sorry to bother you, but . . . ".

    You're bothering her? Why are you sorry? Just say, "hey I need a female opinion on something" or whatever feels right to you.
    Both styles can work, it depends on the context. I personally do the slightly-apologetic thing because I'm a performer and I normally come across as naturally charismatic- so in this situation I try not to come across as too polished because it can be misread to be a little bit smarmy and overly rehearsed. Rehearsed is the last thing you would expect from an ENTP, but perception is reality and impressions count.

    I think we would both agree that the most important thing is to be comfortable, but not too much so. Letting her see a little bit of shyness or nervousness can endear you to her; but then and again it really depends on the individual girl. Trial and error is the only real way to figure out the best approach for the individual- your subconscious will help you out.

    EDIT: Besides, if you say sorry-to-bother-you with a big charming smile, she'll know you're not sorry at all. It's polite, chivalrous, flirtatious, confident-without-being-cocky and all the nice things that girls want in their boys. I guess that's why I subconsciously left it in.

  5. #65
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    3,938

    Default

    I’d looked at this thread before and remembered it last night.

    I went out on my own to one of my favourite sushi bars (with one of those rolling conveyor belts). Usually when I eat out I go with a friend or friends, but in places I’ve been quite a few times and feel comfortable, I will occasionally go alone. I felt like getting out of the house (I live alone) and I felt like having sushi. They were having a cheap night too, though given that it’s sushi it’s still not that “cheap.”

    The place was rammed because of the cheap night but I was squeezed into one of the stools by the rolling bar. I had a book that I flipped through a few times (Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, haha). Mainly I was just eyeing the sushi, looking around the place a bit, and staring off into space. I would kind of like to see a picture/video of myself when I am doing the thinking/staring into space thing (I wasn’t just zoning out, I was thinking about various things). I have a feeling I look like a bit of a fool but there must be something unusual about the look on my face, because I quite often get even total strangers (whether or not they’re hitting on me!) going “you look very serious” or “don’t look so sad” when I’m like that.

    There was a guy across the bar who had made eye contact with me once when I happened to glance up in his direction but I thought nothing of it. About fifteen minutes after that, when I’d been there for a while, he appeared at my shoulder (and like I said, there were tons of people in this place, it was jammed) and said “Excuse me.” I turned and probably looked startled and said “yes?” He smiled and said “You look like you’re deep in thought” and I kind of smiled and said “yes, yes I guess I am.” He then said “Would you think about randomly going out for a drink with someone one day?”

    There might be some version of reality where I would have said “yes” but for various reasons that is just not on the books at the moment (although I am single) and I’m not sure I am the type of person at all who would go out with someone who asked me in that kind of context. (I’m more comfortable with going out with someone I actually know at least a little bit!) So I said “I won’t, but thanks anyway” politely. He said (also politely) “ok, I’ll leave you to it then” and went back to his seat. I saw him reading his newspaper for a bit, then he paid his bill and left.

    I felt a bit self-conscious particularly as there were loads of people around who would have seen/heard this but overall I felt rather flattered than otherwise. This kind of thing doesn’t happen to me that much – well, like many women I at least occasionally get hit on just on the street by sleazy guys who seem to think that if they proposition enough women they might get someone to have sex with them (seriously, what is that?). But it was kind of nice to know that this guy found me attractive although I had my serious/spaced-out look on my face. (I also appreciated the fact that he didn’t push it when I said no.) I think a lot of men would find this intimidating or off-putting rather than otherwise. I’ve been told enough times by people of either sex that I’m attractive that I think there must be some truth in it but at the same time I don’t get approached much. I think I must look a bit intimidating (I’m also six feet tall) or else a bit too serious/stand-offish.

    Basically, for the purposes of this thread, what I’d say about all this is I might be flattered if you approach me in much the way this guy did (polite and non-pushy), but I’ll probably say no.
    Female
    INFJ
    Enneagram 6w5 sp/sx


    I DOORSLAMMING

  6. #66
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    GONE
    Posts
    9,051

    Default

    I think this question is cute and not in a patronizing way...at least not totally...I swear I.E. - an introvert asking how best to approach another introvert (or really, whether they should approach the other introvert at all!)

    I will say in my experience with INXPs, yes, definitely approach the girl in such a situation. And don't say that you'll get awkward if she's awkward...dood...no offense but if indeed you are *both* INXPs Just assume there *will* be some awkwardness but it can be copacetic awkwardness! I knew an INTP who could be a total pimp (she's also really cute) but some have accused her of awkwardness. How is possible to approach women and be awkward and still be considered a pimp? Don't ask how, just take reassurance in the fact that it *can* and does happen.

    The eye contact cues you picked up are honestly some of the only cues you will pick up from any stranger in public that they may or may not want to talk to you. That and a smile.

    So take the plunge!

    I will say in the case of the INFPs I befriended or dated, they were all glad I approached them. And trust me, our relationships would NOT have happened if I had not approached them.

    The INFPs who didn't want to be approached...well, I never spoke to them long enough to even confirm their type or even their names sometimes and consequently I do not remember them. And I'm sure the 3-5 seconds I interacted with them did not scar them or offend them horribly either. I'm sure they forgot about me just as quickly if not more quickly.

    So basically, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose. So in answer to your question - YES!

    (Just assume all the above is true for INFJs as well as INFPs...)
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  7. #67
    heart on fire
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    8,457

    Default

    I'd prefer a person to just be calm and friendly.

    I can't deal well with new people who try to be super funny or super coming on strong or trying to be too impressive. Also any wiff of fake and I am ready to bolt.

    When I am new to a person, it can be hard for me to extrovert with a lot of energy with them, esepcially if they start pushing me to go faster than I can. I think people often mistake this for me not being interested in being friends. I tend to warm up slow at first.

    Lots of foced eye contact or overdone playfulness could make a young INFP shy and give them the urge to run.

    Awkwardness better any day than fake coolness or overdone charm.

    Quote Originally Posted by visaisahero View Post
    Visa's How To Approach A Girl 101

    After you've done all the subtle flirting and eye-contact stuff, stare at your phone for a while and pretend to be doing some important messaging. (If you really want this to be especially effective, actually get into a heated, opinionated text-argument with a friend- you can show her the messages yourself, which gives you some opportunity to get physically close to her as well) At some point in time, give an especially exasperated sigh, roll your eyes- something that'll make her notice that you're annoyed with something on your phone. Give her a "tired" i-don't-know-why-i-go-through-this sort of smile, and she'll most probably smile back.

    Ask for her opinion on something. You can't go wrong there. Don't ask for the time, because that's close-ended. Go over, give your most friendly and charming smile (again) and say something along the lines of "sorry to bother you, but i'm in a heated argument and I really need an opinion..." Nobody's going to turn down giving someone an opinion- not even the hottest of girls. If you seem like you genuinely want their opinion, they will most certainly give it to you- it's a small and simple favour that takes no effort to do. Try to ask a question that's complex and needs some thinking. Observe her in advance and try to make it relevant- is she reading a book? is she wearing glasses? is she wearing shoes? you could be pretending to argue with your friend who claims that the girl he likes is going to think he's a creep if he buys her lingerie, but you think it's kinda sweet. Whatever. Do guys cheat on girls more, or vice versa? Who lies more in relationships? Something subjective. Asking a funny but interesting and effective question is an art form in itself. (Pickup artists call this the opener, and often have many different ones at their fingertips.)



    ...
    When I was younger, this type of thing would have set my BS meter off so loud, I would have just been very nice and very keen to get the hell away from the guy. I am sorry to have to say it, but that's the truth.

    I'd probably have a better since of humor today but still it would be irksome to deal with.

    I'd just say act as natural as possible. Ask her something straightforward about her book or something like that, even if it sounds dumb if it is sincere, it will sing true and that's what will matter most and see where things go from there.

  8. #68

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    When I was younger, this type of thing would have set my BS meter off so loud, I would have just been very nice and very keen to get the hell away from the guy. I am sorry to have to say it, but that's the truth. I'd probably have a better since of humor today but still it would be irksome to deal with.

    I'd just say act as natural as possible. Ask her something straightforward about her book or something like that, even if it sounds dumb if it is sincere, it will sing true and that's what will matter most and see where things go from there.
    Hey!

    I want you to know that our two perspectives are not mutually exclusive. I agree completely that fake charm stinks from a mile away. Sincerity is the most important thing, and I'm sure we can both agree on that.

    I'm not suggesting that guys should develop a cold, rehearsed routine- in fact I believe it should be as natural as possible. But you must also remember that for some guys, "as natural as possible" means being shifty, awkward, shy, defeatist and weak-willed around attractive women- and that won't get them very far.

    So there is an almost paradoxical situation where we want a man to be as natural as possible, while being at his best at the same time. Good posture, a clear, deep voice, a shapely body, a comfortable smile- few of these come naturally to the average guy, but surely if they did, they would increase his odds of success! So it is the individual's responsibility to make being charismatic, desirable and fun "as natural as possible".

  9. #69
    heart on fire
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    8,457

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by visaisahero View Post
    Hey!

    I want you to know that our two perspectives are not mutually exclusive. I agree completely that fake charm stinks from a mile away. Sincerity is the most important thing, and I'm sure we can both agree on that.

    I'm not suggesting that guys should develop a cold, rehearsed routine- in fact I believe it should be as natural as possible. But you must also remember that for some guys, "as natural as possible" means being shifty, awkward, shy, defeatist and weak-willed around attractive women- and that won't get them very far.

    So there is an almost paradoxical situation where we want a man to be as natural as possible, while being at his best at the same time. Good posture, a clear, deep voice, a shapely body, a comfortable smile- few of these come naturally to the average guy, but surely if they did, they would increase his odds of success! So it is the individual's responsibility to make being charismatic, desirable and fun "as natural as possible".

    A guy's smile doesn't have to be "comfortable" for me to like him nor does he have to have ramrod posture, his voice could quaver on the first meeting and first date. So for me, it's different.

    Some awkwardness is fine, can even be quite endearing and I'd sure rather have that than some made up nonsense about 'Hey my buddy is cheating on his girl, what do you think?"

    And God help me, nothing is worse than having to deal with some guy who is trying extra hard to be charismatic, desirable and "fun".

    If an awkward, shy, socially unsure INTP wants an INFP, good grief, just be yourself and go for it. There's probably no other type who is going to be more likely overlook and even be appreciative of your sincere, awkward, nerdy self. Honestly.

    INTP dude, you like what? Philosophy, science? Just make convo about that.

  10. #70
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    12

    Default

    In a potential mutual attraction situation, if you’ve got the mustard for it do it and stay out of the analytical side of your thought process. Cupid doesn’t treat people who think too much very well, besides even if you get shot down the experience is still so exciting. Adrenalin pumping, heart racing, get all flushed in the cheeks, can be quite exhilarating.

    “Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
    -Ferris Bueller

Similar Threads

  1. [Socionics] Please don't type me. I REALLY DO NOT want to be typed. Do not click!
    By strychnine in forum Socionics
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 07-01-2016, 02:12 PM
  2. Do people want to be normal or speshul?
    By Snow Turtle in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 11-12-2009, 01:04 PM
  3. [ISTP] How do you Deal with Wanting to be Alone?
    By Auto/Virtuosi=L.A.P. in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 08-17-2009, 02:18 AM
  4. [ENFJ] How do you know if ENFJs want to be friends?
    By EmilyINFP in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 03-23-2009, 10:50 PM
  5. [MBTItm] Do you really want to hurt me? (here's your chance!)
    By miss fortune in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 106
    Last Post: 01-02-2008, 09:22 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO