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  1. #21
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Lots of good input. Generally speaking, do you INFx's even want a significant other? If you're like me - sometimes you do and sometimes you'd rather just be left to be alone. It's fun to be fairly independent - and obviously it comes natural to us introverts, but then there are times you really do want to be in a relationship with someone who is compatible (key word).

    Does whether or not you want to be in a relationship change depending upon the circumstances in your life? Or would you say that generally you couldn't care less if you were in a long-term relationship?

  2. #22
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    Lots of good input. Generally speaking, do you INFx's even want a significant other?
    This seems funny to me...I would think it would be more rare for an INFx to NOT want a significant other!!

    For myself, yes. But I'll elaborate below.

    If you're like me - sometimes you do and sometimes you'd rather just be left to be alone. It's fun to be fairly independent - and obviously it comes natural to us introverts, but then there are times you really do want to be in a relationship with someone who is compatible (key word).

    Does whether or not you want to be in a relationship change depending upon the circumstances in your life? Or would you say that generally you couldn't care less if you were in a long-term relationship?
    There have certainly been a handful of periods in my life when I have withdrawn myself from the dating scene, and convinced myself that I didn't desire any of it. With this came a boosting of 'independence', such that I started to scorn the notion of relationships. But ultimately this was just a protective maneuver, trying to shield myself from potential hurt/complication/etc. And, it also coincided with lower esteem, lack of trust in others, or a belief that I wasn't suitable for anyone, I was 'too x' or 'too y' or 'too z', so why bother...the likelihood of my mutually hitting it off with someone was so unlikely that the whole notion seemed depressing and a setup for disappointment.

    But the fact that I still thought about relationships and all of that throughout my times of withdrawal really just pointed to the fact that I DID want to be in one, I was just afraid, distrustful, too low in confidence, or (tied to low confidence) didn't believe I was healthy enough to even be in one or be good for anybody.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  3. #23
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    yes - i like the other person to have more initiative than I
    I N V I C T U S

  4. #24
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thursday View Post
    yes - i like the other person to have more initiative than I
    +1

  5. #25
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    This seems funny to me...I would think it would be more rare for an INFx to NOT want a significant other!!
    You guys are just so fiercely independent. Almost like you can't be bothered with a relationship. I know you care about people and all, but the girl by herself at the farmer's market who gets her stuff and rushes out of there to get home hardly screams "Come talk to me!" And plus, introverts naturally turn away from people and interaction, while extroverts turn towards people. Not saying that introverts don't ever want to interact, just saying that I know for myself my high degree of introversion makes my independence enjoyable.

    There have certainly been a handful of periods in my life when I have withdrawn myself from the dating scene, and convinced myself that I didn't desire any of it. With this came a boosting of 'independence', such that I started to scorn the notion of relationships. But ultimately this was just a protective maneuver, trying to shield myself from potential hurt/complication/etc. And, it also coincided with lower esteem, lack of trust in others, or a belief that I wasn't suitable for anyone, I was 'too x' or 'too y' or 'too z', so why bother...the likelihood of my mutually hitting it off with someone was so unlikely that the whole notion seemed depressing and a setup for disappointment.

    But the fact that I still thought about relationships and all of that throughout my times of withdrawal really just pointed to the fact that I DID want to be in one, I was just afraid, distrustful, too low in confidence, or (tied to low confidence) didn't believe I was healthy enough to even be in one or be good for anybody.
    Yeah, I could see a lot of myself in what you wrote. I definitely desire a relationship, but I don't look forward to the maintenance and complications that come with it, so half the time I just think, "Eh, I'm fine by myself right now."

  6. #26
    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
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    I'm pretty sure every introvert prefers to be approached.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  7. #27
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    I'm pretty sure every introvert prefers to be approached.
    I wouldn't say that, although I would say that it would take an introvert longer to approach someone than it would an extrovert. Especially an extrovert with Se dom or aux.

  8. #28
    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adoamros View Post
    I wouldn't say that, although I would say that it would take an introvert longer to approach someone than it would an extrovert. Especially an extrovert with Se dom or aux.
    Well, when I said prefer I didn't mean that introverts refuse to approach people. Prefer! :P
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  9. #29
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    I personally like it, in most cases. Then again I'm a guy, so like other posters mentioned gender differences might play a role. Keep in mind though, that I believe if you're in a random public place, and someone approaches you, you should be wary because you don't know who that person is. If it's someone I know, even if I just barely know them, I feel much more comfortable. Better safe than sorry. Like I said though, most women aren't gonna approach random guys (although some do), and if a random guy approached me and was just trying to make conversation, I might have to end up telling him I'm straight.

    The problem a lot of women have is that they're being hit on all the time, often by guys who are creeps. So you have to distinguish yourself as different from all of those other guys if you want to get anywhere. This isn't as tough as it looks provided you can present a good self-image, without coming across as braggy. In other words, don't tell unless asked.

    But people I know approaching me, even if I've just met them once, I'm always open for it, unless you're intruding on me when I don't want to be around people, i.e. you knock on my door without calling first. An example of how I like to be approached by women: one time a girl was chasing after me and I walked slower so she could catch me.

    Well, to get to the point in my long-winded post...I think you should go for it, just make sure you don't freak her out. If she does "diss" you even if you approach her the right way, it probably has more to do with her than you, i.e. she has a boyfriend, has problems, or just wants privacy.

    Lastly, be careful with typing people right off. It's not really possible a lot of the time to type someone just by looking at them once from far away. I confused a good friend of mine, an ISFP, for an ENFJ (I guess introverted/extroverted feeling mix up). So, be careful not to label someone immediately.
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  10. #30
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I'm a guy and would rather not require it, but sometimes a girl has to just go get me to notice...
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