I try to put other's needs before my own because I like seeing other people comfortable/happy. Plus, if isn't something big, then it shouldn't be a big enough of a problem to warrant me being uncomfortable/unhappy.
I am the opposite since I tend to think that if it is a small thing the person can do that for themselves. While I will help them in something big (since that stimulates my brain).
a.) We can be really bad at speaking up because we WANT to forgive
b.) It's easier to see when something wrong is happening and it isn't happening to you
c.) The fairness tripwire. We will kung foo you if you are unfair
89% Extroverted ~ 68% Intuition ~ 84% Feeling ~ 89% Perceiving
Enneagram: 2w1 SO/SP Socionics: ENFp
Se 30.4% Si 19.1% - Ne 38.4% Ni 26.4% - Te 23.1% Ti 20% - Fe 46.4% Fi 35.8%
Sanguine | Phlegmatic
Right Brain Dominant
Fighting for others feels like it's worth it, whereas fighting for myself...meh.
I'm sensitive and expressive, very much so. So when it's me I can put on that act. When it's someone else I am more level headed about the situation because I am empathising...but I'm not actually feeling the full extent of it.
Sometimes I get into a fight for other people because I'm insecure and I wanna look like I'm holding it together...that I can hold it together. It's harder to pretend I can do that when it's directly affecting me...because of all the feelings it brings. I can't think straight so I chose not to really do anything unless I really have to. Hence why my life is a mess ;P
I also think that part of the reason I find it so easy to sort out other people's problems is because I'm compensating for not being able to take care of my own.
at least, in particular, I am, and therefore, as per the OP, etc.
For me, it is not that I am not selfish or don't take care of my own needs, it is just that I am often simply NOT AWARE of my own needs because they conflict with an image of myself as a good kid, so I have somehow managed to cover them and de-emphasize them. I am an adult, and I am responsible for myself now, yet the image lingers like a specter, holding out a false sense of love which I'll accept great degradation to pay for. It is tempting, and it is also ... so vile, I can't find words strong enough to describe the repulsion I feel as I write this. It's villainy! Absolute treachery!
I have to say I agree with not being able to fight for my self.
If injustice or wrong is done to some one I love or care, I would readily react with a rough remark my self or anything else for that matter.
But if someone is being harsh to me, then I fell so bad inside. as if like why is this person saying/ doing this to me when I haven't done anything at all etc.
It is only after I have a sit at a quiet corner and reflect and strategise can I fight back with an action plan. but oh boy when it comes to that they better watch out....But hardly do i resolve to any lashing back. I normally think they're idiots and let it go.. hehe