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Thread: Why are NF good in fighting for others but not for themselves?

  1. #31
    Queen hunter Array Virtual ghost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    135 so/sp


    Quote Originally Posted by monocycle View Post

    I try to put other's needs before my own because I like seeing other people comfortable/happy. Plus, if isn't something big, then it shouldn't be a big enough of a problem to warrant me being uncomfortable/unhappy.

    I am the opposite since I tend to think that if it is a small thing the person can do that for themselves. While I will help them in something big (since that stimulates my brain).

  2. #32
    Senior Member Array alexx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008



    a.) We can be really bad at speaking up because we WANT to forgive
    b.) It's easier to see when something wrong is happening and it isn't happening to you
    c.) The fairness tripwire. We will kung foo you if you are unfair

    89% Extroverted ~ 68% Intuition ~ 84% Feeling ~ 89% Perceiving
    Enneagram: 2w1 SO/SP Socionics: ENFp
    Cognitive Process
    Se 30.4% Si 19.1% - Ne 38.4% Ni 26.4% - Te 23.1% Ti 20% - Fe 46.4% Fi 35.8%
    Sanguine | Phlegmatic
    Right Brain Dominant

  3. #33
    Senior Member Array HollyGolightly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    1w2 sp/so


    Fighting for others feels like it's worth it, whereas fighting for myself...meh.
    I'm sensitive and expressive, very much so. So when it's me I can put on that act. When it's someone else I am more level headed about the situation because I am empathising...but I'm not actually feeling the full extent of it.
    Sometimes I get into a fight for other people because I'm insecure and I wanna look like I'm holding it together...that I can hold it together. It's harder to pretend I can do that when it's directly affecting me...because of all the feelings it brings. I can't think straight so I chose not to really do anything unless I really have to. Hence why my life is a mess ;P

    I also think that part of the reason I find it so easy to sort out other people's problems is because I'm compensating for not being able to take care of my own.
    "Dad I can't feel my legs."

    "That's because you don't have any arms."

  4. #34
    it's a nuclear device Array antireconciler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    5w4 so


    Quote Originally Posted by Rainbows View Post
    NFs are prone to low self esteem.
    at least, in particular, I am, and therefore, as per the OP, etc.

    For me, it is not that I am not selfish or don't take care of my own needs, it is just that I am often simply NOT AWARE of my own needs because they conflict with an image of myself as a good kid, so I have somehow managed to cover them and de-emphasize them. I am an adult, and I am responsible for myself now, yet the image lingers like a specter, holding out a false sense of love which I'll accept great degradation to pay for. It is tempting, and it is also ... so vile, I can't find words strong enough to describe the repulsion I feel as I write this. It's villainy! Absolute treachery!
    ~ a n t i r e c o n c i l e r
    What is death, dies.
    What is life, lives.

  5. #35
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    Aug 2009


    I have to say I agree with not being able to fight for my self.
    If injustice or wrong is done to some one I love or care, I would readily react with a rough remark my self or anything else for that matter.
    But if someone is being harsh to me, then I fell so bad inside. as if like why is this person saying/ doing this to me when I haven't done anything at all etc.

    It is only after I have a sit at a quiet corner and reflect and strategise can I fight back with an action plan. but oh boy when it comes to that they better watch out....But hardly do i resolve to any lashing back. I normally think they're idiots and let it go.. hehe

  6. #36
    No Array Thalassa's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    6w7 sx
    SEE Fi


    I fight for myself. I've been called "a very demanding young lady."

    I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

    Although, yes, I can be VERY protective of others and will fight for other people as well.
    "Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul." - Edward Abbey

    SEE-Fi /Gamma

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