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  1. #1
    Senior Member GirlFromMars's Avatar
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    Default Mature/Immature.

    Can people here relate to this? Is it an NF/INFP thing?

    I've always felt this paradox with feeling mature, but also emotionally stumped at the same time. Since I was a kid I was more mature than others in a way - I've always seemed to care about more "mature" issues, but on the other hand I often feel emotionally like a child. Like I need looking after still, protection, reassurance, etc. more than most my age (I turned 21 in October) So, on one hand I've always been more mature, on the other hand I'm kinda emotionally...backward.

    Can you guys relate to this? Is it more a type thing, or more about the way we were raised, sh!t that happend in childhood?

  2. #2
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    I think that the speed that INs mature when we are young can cause problems when we get older. Around our early 20s, our ability to observe others and contemplate issues in our head no longer compensates for lack of experience.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Kastor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GirlFromMars View Post
    Can people here relate to this? Is it an NF/INFP thing?

    I've always felt this paradox with feeling mature, but also emotionally stumped at the same time. Since I was a kid I was more mature than others in a way - I've always seemed to care about more "mature" issues, but on the other hand I often feel emotionally like a child. Like I need looking after still, protection, reassurance, etc. more than most my age (I turned 21 in October) So, on one hand I've always been more mature, on the other hand I'm kinda emotionally...backward.

    Can you guys relate to this? Is it more a type thing, or more about the way we were raised, sh!t that happend in childhood?
    That's pretty much exactly like me.
    [SIGPIC]http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb37/KamikazePigeonOnFire/untitled-39.jpg[/SIGPIC]

  4. #4
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Yup..sounds very familiar.
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  5. #5
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    I think that the speed that INs mature when we are young can cause problems when we get older. Around our early 20s, our ability to observe others and contemplate issues in our head no longer compensates for lack of experience.
    Interesting. Could you expand on this?

  6. #6
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tibby View Post
    Interesting. Could you expand on this?
    Sure. (I'm going to paraphrase something I wrote in my blog awhile ago.)

    In high school and even college, I was constantly being told I was wise for my age. By my family, friends, and even strangers. However, at some point, I would say early 20s, age caught up to me. By that point, though, I had gotten used to considering myself mature for my age, and didn't realize that that statement wasn't 100% true any longer.

    It caused me to have a 22 year old mentality way past the age of 22. It wasn't until around my mid-twenties where, for the first time in my life, I had to learn how to grow up.

    You can't live your entire life through other people. There are some things only experience can teach.

  7. #7
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Yeah, I'm 26 now and it's only recently that other things seem to be actually working on catching up with there the rest of me is. Then again, I have a number of actual experiences too since 10, so I also have that to make part of my maturity quite real.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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  8. #8
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    I definitely relate to this. I think it's about finding a balance, but the balance is difficult. Perhaps the mature issues are just what come easier to you and the rest are things you didn't realize you would have to work toward.
    That's how it's been for me, at least. A lot of my thoughts and concerns can surpass those of the people i know at my age, but it's still like someone needs to hold my hand through certain events. It's very hindering.

  9. #9
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Sure. (I'm going to paraphrase something I wrote in my blog awhile ago.)

    In high school and even college, I was constantly being told I was wise for my age. By my family, friends, and even strangers. However, at some point, I would say early 20s, age caught up to me. By that point, though, I had gotten used to considering myself mature for my age, and didn't realize that that statement wasn't 100% true any longer.

    It caused me to have a 22 year old mentality way past the age of 22. It wasn't until around my mid-twenties where, for the first time in my life, I had to learn how to grow up.

    You can't live your entire life through other people. There are some things only experience can teach.
    Thanks! Insightful.

  10. #10
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Yeah, I definitely relate to a lot of what is in this thread. I've always been mentally ahead of the crowd a bit as far as getting the "wise for your years" comments and understanding the inner workings of people/things before my peers grasped them (people have always sought me out for input on things I have never been through, and yet, what I advised seemed to work), but it was always from a conceptual standpoint. It was not my own experience, and in that way I am a bit behind and naive in some areas.

    I think NFPs also have a perpetual childlike whimsy to them also. It's our imagination and spontaneous side, but I don't think it's necessarily immature. It does seem a contradiction to our "wise" and "mature" side though. You expect someone who is insightful beyond their years to be subdued, serious, and orderly, but NFPs are often silly, light-hearted, and random. On the other hand, I often have a hard time imagining INFJs as children precisely because they project a less whimsical and playful attitude. They seem to be pure "old souls".

    People who've seen me first from one angle ("mature" vs. "immature") are surprised when they see the other side. I can go a long time presenting the face that suits the situation best.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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