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View Poll Results: For NF's - Are you a SUCKER?

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  • Yes! And I hate it but don't know how to stop.

    1 2.78%
  • Yes! I pride myself on my compassion OR it doesn't bother me.

    8 22.22%
  • Yes! And at this point, I'm so used to it, I can live with it.

    1 2.78%
  • No! And never have been.

    6 16.67%
  • No! And I wonder what's wrong with the rest of your NFs...

    1 2.78%
  • No! Not anymore. I used to be but I took care of that.

    19 52.78%
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  1. #1
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Default Are you a SUCKER?

    I was just thinking about all the new and wonderful things I learn about types and thereby myself, from this forum. And I was getting bothered by some things I was seeing about NFs but specifically ENFPs. Basically, other people's impressions of us and our own self-assessments. Some things just aren't meshing for me and/or they are quite eye opening as I was not aware of these views before.

    So I think I'll be posting some nosy little questions to my fellow NFs in the coming week.

    First off --


    Are you a sucker?
    Do you get easily taken advantage of?
    Are you a con artist's dream?
    Do you easily fall for every sob story and tall tale you hear?
    Are you a total push-over?
    Do you attract needy or troubled people who leech you of energy and time and possibly money?
    Is it very easy (compared to others you know) to get an emotional response or 'buy-in' from you?


    And if the answer is 'Yes!' I was curious as to your feelings on the topic and how you deal with it. If it's 'No!' I would really like to know -- why not?? How did you become the opposite of a sucker or were you naturally like this?

    And of course, personal anecdotes are so helpful in illustrating your point.

    Thanks in advance for your input!

  2. #2
    To the top of the world arcticangel02's Avatar
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    Hrm. I don't know!

    Observing the world around me, especially through the newspaper and stuff, I'm actually fairly cynical. I always notice and point out things that seem stupid or obviously biased, and I think it's fairly easy to pick up on that sort of thing. Current affair-like programs with their 'Why you can't leave the house without fearing for your LIFE!' sort of headlines annoy me like nothing else.

    YET, when dealing with other people, especially one-on-one, I'm a lot more trusting. I do generally believe that everyone means well, and I have been known to believe something I later found out was false. So, I'm putting 'yes', but because I've been taught by and am around lots of S's and T's (those would be the most cynical and untrusting, perhaps?) I think I'm a little more careful and aware of those sort of things that I would naturally be.

    For example, I think my mother is being somewhat paranoid when she insists on covering up handbags left in the car with towels so that theives won't see them and try and break in and get them, (although I find myself in the habit of doing that) but I feel uncomfortable and am very reluctant to talk to people I don't trust about things like salary and how much money/things I own.
    ANFP:
    Extraversion (52%) ---- Introversion (48%)
    Sensing (26%) ---- iNtuition (74%)
    Thinking (16%) ---- Feeling (84%)
    Judging (5%) ---- Perceiving (95%)

    9w1 so/sx/sp

  3. #3
    Senior Member Littlelostnf's Avatar
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    Default

    So I think I'll be posting some nosy little questions to my fellow NFs in the coming week.

    First off -- [/size]

    Are you a sucker?
    Do you get easily taken advantage of?

    Nah

    Are you a con artist's dream?

    absolutely not
    Do you easily fall for every sob story and tall tale you hear?

    depends on the sob story...

    Are you a total push-over?

    Maybe I'm not because I know I could be..balance man...balance

    Do you attract needy or troubled people who leech you of energy and time and possibly money?

    definately attract needy troubled people. sometimes they will leech me of my energy...occasionally time...hardly ever money

    Is it very easy (compared to others you know) to get an emotional response or 'buy-in' from you?


    hmmmm i'll have to think about that. i don't think so but i'll get back to you.


    And if the answer is 'Yes!' I was curious as to your feelings on the topic and how you deal with it. If it's 'No!' I would really like to know -- why not?? How did you become the opposite of a sucker or were you naturally like this?

    I think it was nurture. mom/dad. always be willing to be helpful. but you can only help those willing to help themselves...learn to recognize when they are and aren't. and so i did...learn that is.

    And of course, personal anecdotes are so helpful in illustrating your point.

    Thanks in advance for your input!
    [/QUOTE]
    for my life is slowed up by thought and the need to understand what I am living.

  4. #4
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    one time someone told me that to get rid of wind of the bottom variety i must sit on a bucket of hot water, so i did.

    so yeh i think i must be.

  5. #5
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    I was just thinking about all the new and wonderful things I learn about types and thereby myself, from this forum. And I was getting bothered by some things I was seeing about NFs but specifically ENFPs. Basically, other people's impressions of us and our own self-assessments. Some things just aren't meshing for me and/or they are quite eye opening as I was not aware of these views before.

    So I think I'll be posting some nosy little questions to my fellow NFs in the coming week.

    First off --


    Are you a sucker?
    Do you get easily taken advantage of?
    Are you a con artist's dream?
    Do you easily fall for every sob story and tall tale you hear?
    Are you a total push-over?
    Do you attract needy or troubled people who leech you of energy and time and possibly money?
    Is it very easy (compared to others you know) to get an emotional response or 'buy-in' from you?


    And if the answer is 'Yes!' I was curious as to your feelings on the topic and how you deal with it. If it's 'No!' I would really like to know -- why not?? How did you become the opposite of a sucker or were you naturally like this?

    And of course, personal anecdotes are so helpful in illustrating your point.

    Thanks in advance for your input!
    1.Yeah, especially if I want who ever's bugging me to go away.

    2.Probably. Sometimes But I normally find ways to blow them off.

    3. No, Unless doing what other's ask because it's not a problem, and easier then to refuse. This is like getting up and walk 20 feets to open a door for someone who asked, because he was in a wheel chair and couldn't reach the handle and the handicap button was broken. Or if I get stopped in the street and I know I shouldn't give the person my change because then I'd have to give change to every homeless person I meet, but If I have loose change in my pocket I'll give it to them, just to be left alone.

    4. All of my friends have wanted to kill themselves at some point, there may have been 1 or 2 who didn't fine I've only had like 10 friends in my life time. I also tend to attract crazy and neurotic people, maybe because I'm crazy and neurotic. If I find someone more neurotic then myself I feel more normal.

    5. Not really if anything people have been shocked to find that I have feelings. I keep them hidden and bottled really well.

  6. #6
    *ears perk up* wolfmaiden14's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Are you a sucker?
    Yep.

    Do you get easily taken advantage of?
    That depends on what you consider taken advantage of. I let people get a whole lot more out of me than they perhaps deserve, but I only do it because I want to. I enjoy helping people, and I also enjoy the looks on other people's faces when I do something I totally don't need to just because I was asked. (like the other night I went out in the rain to a co-worker's car just to get his phone for him.) I also to the crap work nobody else does or pick up the slack for people just because.. I'd prefer it get done, so if that means doing it myself, very well. (Of course, that doesn't mean I do this 100% of the time. >.> I'm just as bad at causing the slack sometimes too.)

    Would most people see this as bending over and taking it? Probably. Do I? Not at all. They're choices I've made.

    Though my actual friends do tend to get one over on me now and again, but, I hold my tongue since they ARE my friends. Some people say they'd do anything for them, I really mean it. I only get bothered if it's something that boils down to a straight up lack of respect, or something that would really screw me over in the end, then I'll stand up for myself.

    Like I co-signed for a car for my ex/friend and he dropped the insurance..which means they could have dropped loan...which would have been a huge nasty blot on MY credit. Living with me when he got kicked out? Fine. Riding him around before he got a car? Sure. Letting him get away with not buying his share of the supplies like he said, or chipping in for half the internet? Whatever. He always paid his half of the rent and that's what was most important to me. (and after a couple months of pestering he did buy some supplies/groceries and start paying for internet, finally.) But I really sat him down and chatted with him about the insurance. That was gonna dick me over and if he was willing to do that, I wasn't sure about the friendship anymore. Within a month he was insured again.


    Are you a con artist's dream?
    Possibly. Usually I can smell a sleaze from a mile away, and don't care too much for strangers, but if they know what they're doing, especially if they employ a smidge of guilt, I'll probably feel bad about being nice and not want to do total a 180 when they ask for something, bend in hopes that they'll go away, and then totally get suckered. Growing up in rich white suburbia, I thankfully haven't had that happen yet.

    Do you easily fall for every sob story and tall tale you hear?
    I've built up a pretty good tolerance. I've distanced myself enough to feel bad, but know there's not really much I can do to change a past I wasn't involved in. I'll gladly help them come to their own terms to help them change the future instead. This probably could mean them getting a good bit out of me to get them started, but again, it's a risk I'm usually willing to take.

    Are you a total push-over?
    Yes. I've done what I'm told my whole life. If someone's persistent enough they can probably get me to change my mind about something pretty quickly.

    Do you attract needy or troubled people who leech you of energy and time and possibly money?
    Yes. It's a drawback to wanting to help as many people as I can. But again, it's a choice I make. Those people need it more than I do. I put others before myself with anything extra, but won't give more than I can afford. Most people still see this as me getting taken advantage of. Maybe it is, but I don't think it's something I can change about myself.

    Is it very easy (compared to others you know) to get an emotional response or 'buy-in' from you?[/size]
    If they press the right buttons. I'm not angered or annoyed easily, it takes a good bit of persistence to make me feel guilty, but if someone's accusing me or someone else of something I know I/they didn't do, I can get really defensive, even if I know they're kidding! I have this odd quirk about people knowing the truth, even about stupid irrelevant details. Often times, I just play along with people and they THINK I'm being serious or getting upset. I guess most people haven't caught on to my rather dry sense of humor.

    And if the answer is 'Yes!' I was curious as to your feelings on the topic and how you deal with it. If it's 'No!' I would really like to know -- why not?? How did you become the opposite of a sucker or were you naturally like this?
    I was born a natural 100% sucker. I was raised to do whatever my dad wanted, when he wanted, and then to try even more because it was never good enough. I did what I was told. Period. My opinion didn't matter, and even explaining myself was talking back. So I've never been really good at thinking for myself.

    However.. I realized what was going on somewhere along the line. I shut up and bent over because it was my Dad, and I respected the fact that I was in his house and a child SHOULD do what they're told. But once I got out.. I wasn't gonna take that crap from anyone else. Plus, my stepmother is very manipulative and a chronic liar, so I learned to not be so trusting of what people say and what kind of signs to look for. When I couldn't trust my own family, you really think I'm going to care what a stranger wants?

    I also have another friend, who I realized AFTER learning all his good qualities, is very controlling. I learn a lot from him. He constantly tries to belittle me in a teasing way, or just boss me or prank me around in ways that are pretty harmless. He may trick me into paying for stuff for him, but then also picks up the tab without me having to say anything sometimes too. It is a give and take.. just.. the "takes" are rather rude sometimes. XD In anycase, it's taught me a little bit more how to stand up for myself.

    Plus, I guess I'm a little extra gifted with the INFJ "intention radar." I can tell when someone's just out to get me, or if they really need help. I guess the problem lies in the fact that even when I know they're out to get me, I give them what they want just because I have it, and don't bother taking the energy to fight it.
    Forming characters! Whose? Our own or others? Both. And in that momentous fact lies the peril and responsibility of our existence. - Elihu Burritt

    Member of the Maverick's Biker Club - Now crashing through walls instead of just..walking into them.

  7. #7
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    Do you get easily taken advantage of?
    Probably. People have told me before that they only liked me because they could use me.

    Are you a con artist's dream?
    More like wet dream. But seriously, I'm pretty skeptical and that keeps me safe. Although I come very close.

    Do you easily fall for every sob story and tall tale you hear?
    I give everyone the benefit of the doubt and I won't call BS cuz I hate the resulting conflict.

    Are you a total push-over?
    Yes.

    Do you attract needy or troubled people who leech you of energy and time and possibly money?
    Not really. If those types come around then I try to help them or I lose my patience with them and avoid them.
    Is it very easy (compared to others you know) to get an emotional response or 'buy-in' from you?
    Very easy to get an emotional response, but I won't buy without proof or the time to think it over.

  8. #8
    Junior Member Alfa Prime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Are you a sucker?
    Do you get easily taken advantage of?
    Are you a con artist's dream?
    Do you easily fall for every sob story and tall tale you hear?
    Are you a total push-over?
    Do you attract needy or troubled people who leech you of energy and time and possibly money?
    Is it very easy (compared to others you know) to get an emotional response or 'buy-in' from you?
    There is a way to develop a clear and healthy self-image. Once developed, none of this will happen.
    "Fortune favours the bold."

  9. #9
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Do you get easily taken advantage of?
    Sometimes, for awhile.
    Are you a con artist's dream?
    Not a stranger con artist. I can too easily smell a rat.
    Do you easily fall for every sob story and tall tale you hear?
    No, not every one. Even if my sympathy is initially engaged it doesn't mean I will act on those feelings.
    Are you a total push-over?
    I can be up to a point.
    Do you attract needy or troubled people who leech you of energy and time and possibly money?
    I used to. I decided not to do that anymore.
    Is it very easy (compared to others you know) to get an emotional response or 'buy-in' from you?
    Depends. I deeply and passionately resent attempts to bypass my brain and go for my feelings.

    I was raised to be an enabler and I stayed true to my upbringing for many years, but a few years back, I cut ties with my primary taker-advantager (my mom) and in the process lost a lot of my tolerance for those kinds of people. There are still a few people that can play me, but nothing like I used to be. Hopefully I will keep getting better, without becoming a complete misanthrope. It's a process.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  10. #10
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alfa Prime View Post
    There is a way to develop a clear and healthy self-image. Once developed, none of this will happen.


    I disagree. If you are an NF and have a clear and healthy self image, then those things can still happen to you. I know that if I value a friendship then I will never be the first one to soil it. I also know that I will let people walk all over me if my integrity is at stake. NFs can cherish their values above all else and there are people who will take advantage of that.

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