I think ultimately it boils down to being understood, and finding people I can share & discuss my viewpoints with and feel safe and accepted in doing so, have these intellectual conversations with, talk about life, philosophize, etc. It's not so much immersing in emotions or the like, it's very idea-and-concept based. Actually it's difficult for me to talk about my emotions, I can be quite uncomfortable doing it. But beyond the discomfort, another reason I don't like talking about my emotions is because they're transitory anyway, and I don't want to subject others needlessly to what might only be a passing state.
This sort of came up in an INFJ thread not too long ago; an Fi-dom mentioned he didn't understand why his INFJ gf was rejecting him and why she didn't think there was a deep enough connection in general, when the Fi-dom was in fact really able to empathize with her emotions themselves, even though he didn't understand the reasons the INFJ felt the way she did or thought what she thought. I, and a few other INFJ's, commented that it wasn't nearly so important that others relate to our emotions, if they can't relate or can't understand the why's behind why we're feeling a certain way. If they don't understand the why's, we're not going to feel connected whatsoever. So I think that's an example, and what I mean by emotions themselves not being my primary 'currency'..it's finding commonalities, meeting people who think/approach things similarly, having these deep conversations. And for me, connecting on this deep level ends up being an 'emotional connection' for me, even though we're not focusing really on emotions themselves.
Blah, sorry, I feel like I'm being really confusing, and again, I don't want to slant this towards 'All INFJ's are this way', because I doubt that they are, especially factoring in enneagrams. There will be variability.