[NF] NF's and cheating

[Arclight]

Wasn’t trying to imply you were attempting to take Nietzsche’s ideas and present them as your own. And I certainly was unable to pick-up on the fact that IM was merely trying to encourage you to pursue schooling in Philosophy.

I merely got a giggle from the notion that you were possibly presenting a whole new school of philosophical thought...which is how it was put forth. And all I could see was Absolutism vs Relativism…or Objective Morality vs Subjective Morality. Basically the sum total of all post-modern thinking. So…I laugh a lot. No big.

You can’t exist in modern society and not be influenced by Nietzsche. It is just how it is. You do not even need to know he existed…and if you are living today…his thoughts will be yours.

I had no idea He is so prevalent. I hear his name a lot , obviously.. and I know he is the creator of Superman..


OK That is a Joke..

I was also answering I.M. in my last post as well.. and maybe should have implied that.. my bad ..

It might be a good idea if I were to peruse going to university , to maybe read some of this stuff before hand.
Nietzsche is on the list I guess, if I sound something like him.. maybe I will relate to him??

 

[Intricate Mystic]

Umm...I am pretty sure Nietzsche (just for one) beat Arclight to the punch there. LOL.

It's nice that you are knowledgeable about schools of philosophy. Now if you could just acquire some manners.....

 

[Synapse]

I find cheating a strange premise. Its almost like because people are unsatisfied with themselves they go and try to fill their emptiness with others because their relationships are providing their emptiness. And when their emptiness continues the reasoning behind cheating becomes such that it is a natural extension of filling their emptiness. When in reality people are disconnected from themselves on a level that created that discontinuity and unsatisfactory of unsecured insecurity to seek out others to fill the emptiness and loneliness that the initial relationship was meant to fill. Or at least create a positive experience and when this changes then the divide seems to change. Cheating is also a strange term because it feels to me that it is a judgment as well. And the judgment is the circumstance of the expression of filling the emptiness and insecurity people have about themselves. Where the betrayal and abandonment that happens because of the cheating that is to fill the emptiness that is really a disconnect from themselves and their emptiness happens.

Which means that somewhere along the line this behaviour became normalsed as an act of compulsion based on their own betrayal and abandonment of their self and subconsciously enact this same beahviour pattern without experiencing true loving intention and security their whole lives because inside they feel empty. And then externalise this as sexual gratification and cheating. It is possible I suppose, I wouldn't know. Cheating is something that I find bizarre.

 

[Curator]

I have not, and would not cheat, If I was in a monogamous relationship with some one, and felt I could no longer be monogamous with them (haven't had a problem yet, but IF...) I would discuss these feelings with them, and go from there, everything completely above board... either make the relationship poly, or end the relationship if that is what seems best for the both of us...

Cheating at games, or school, nope, I feel no sense of accomplishment if I dont win/pass a test, based on my own abilities/merit without cheating... the few times I have tried to cheat when I was younger, the guilt ate me up, and I admitted it,lol.

 

[Starry]

Nietzsche is on the list I guess, if I sound something like him.. maybe I will relate to him??

Oh God yes. With your 5 wing? I would go to a used book store today and pick-up a copy of Beyond Good & Evil.

 

[AgentF]

never have, never will.

this is the one area of my life in which i understand the notion of compartmentalizing. other men transform into mere carbon-based life forms when i'm in a relationship with someone.

i don't judge anyone who has cheated. i've simply no insight into the factors that go into doing that. we all have something to work on when it comes to relationships. cheating is simply not an issue with which i ever have struggled or (i suspect) with which i ever will. probably because i dive into relationships tutu first, and never look back.

 

[Curator]

Nietzsche was a very interesting read...cant say I relate to him, but beyond good and evil was an interesting read,lol...

 

[Arclight]

I find cheating a strange premise. Its almost like because people are unsatisfied with themselves they go and try to fill their emptiness with others because their relationships are providing their emptiness. And when their emptiness continues the reasoning behind cheating becomes such that it is a natural extension of filling their emptiness. When in reality people are disconnected from themselves on a level that created that discontinuity and unsatisfactory of unsecured insecurity to seek out others to fill the emptiness and loneliness that the initial relationship was meant to fill. Or at least create a positive experience and when this changes then the divide seems to change. Cheating is also a strange term because it feels to me that it is a judgment as well. And the judgment is the circumstance of the expression of filling the emptiness and insecurity people have about themselves. Where the betrayal and abandonment that happens because of the cheating that is to fill the emptiness that is really a disconnect from themselves and their emptiness happens.

Which means that somewhere along the line this behaviour became normalsed as an act of compulsion based on their own betrayal and abandonment of their self and subconsciously enact this same beahviour pattern without experiencing true loving intention and security their whole lives because inside they feel empty. And then externalise this as sexual gratification and cheating. It is possible I suppose, I wouldn't know. Cheating is something that I find bizarre.

Or... Just hormones..

 

[Arclight]

Oh God yes. With your 5 wing? I would go to a used book store today and pick-up a copy of Beyond Good & Evil.

It's never dawned on me.. I have heard that Title.. but never really considered what it implied. But Yes My whole existence is about knowing there is more to morality, (or a lack of,) than Just simple good and bad..

Now see. Why did I ignore this stuff when I was younger for sex, drugs , rock n roll and traveling..??

Oh. *remembers*.. That's why.

 

[Arclight]

I also want to add.. That Intricate Mystic is my friend.. and That Post she made was a challenge to me, and a continuation of an earlier conversation we had.
She knows more about The Schools of philosophy than I do, by a country mile..
She is just very subtle .. If I know her.. this post she made is a gentle INFJ nudge towards something she feels is my destiny.

 

[Elfboy]

Would you/have you? Under what circumstances? What do you actually consider cheating?

to me, cheating represents a failure in communication. if one feels significant desire to cheat, it's best to try to be honest and tell the other party that you're having problems with your relationship and that the relationship needs changes. if eventually you can't work things out, it's best to break up. passive aggression is a HUGE problem in a large percentage of american relationships

 

[tkae.]

If I "cheat" at anything, it's because a person's definition of what cheating is differs from mine. To me, it's not cheating. I don't cheat. And if I do cheat, I feel so bad about it that I punish myself and do my best to undo whatever rewards I got from cheating tenfold.

Like, if I cheat to pass a test and make a 100 (which I've never done in my entire life, by the way), I'd take a 0 on the next test. But that's IF I make a bad decision that compromises my personal values, which is VERY VERY VERY VERY rare.

Maybe THRICE in my whole life.

So...

 

[99tinkerbells]

good questions! i have some experience. but wish i didn't. really really really wish i didn't.

my enfp wife of 14 years, and mother of our 3 children, cheated on me about 2.5years ago. i really understood the meaning of words in a new way- words like devestation, betrayal, heartbroken. the worst part- during and after- was all the lying and deceit.

i don't recommend it for those considering it, or sliding towards it. IMO, tis better to step up and face the music rather than avoiding issues or brutally dismembering a marriage and/or family via an affair.

i'm not playing a victim card here but 2 years after the fact, it is still a big fat wound on such a deep level -trauma is the right word- and the experience has not been a good thing for anyone involved, except for maybe the homewrecker who had very little to lose anyway.

that said, i wouldn't do it. i also never thought, before the affair, i could live with someone who would do that. but life is surprising sometimes! children were definately a factor in my decision to hang in through the pain and see what transpires.

cheating is definately an individual thing- not caused by the relationship, or the other partner, notwithstanding the imperfection in one or both.

-infp

 

[skylights]

homework - sure, who cares? i hate the idea that there's something special about coming up with your "own" answer. better to collaborate and get a more informed answer. there shouldn't be a stigma on free distribution of information.

tests - i think the closest i've really ever come is writing mnemonics (acronyms) on my hand for some huge anatomy test. i think it's not fair to other people to cheat, but again, i feel like the idea of test-taking in general is somewhat stupid and flawed. tests aren't always a very good indicator of how well you know the subject - they're a better indicator of how good you are at taking tests. for example, i usually do much better on essay tests than multiple choice. why? because i think the logic in multiple choice is really confusing. just let me explain what i freaking know. i understand that classes need objective benchmarks and blah blah but some classes rely WAY too much on testing. i would feel guilty about cheating if i got a better grade than i thought i deserved, but if i was doing it because i felt the test wasn't a very good measurement of my knowledge, i wouldn't really care (but i haven't ever really done it because i realize that it screws over others' scores if i unfairly get a better score).

relationships - no. never. man up and break up, or man up and stay in the relationship. cheating just hurts everyone.

 

[Lily flower]

I remember being faithful to my boyfriend in college the whole time I was on my "semester abroad," despite several opportunities to cheat.

Then I flew home, and we broke up 24 hours later.

Not a waste, though, because I have always been proud of myself that I had that kind of character.