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Thread: NF's and cheating

  1. #71
    Certified Sausage Smoker Array Elfboy's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
    5w4 sx/sp
    SLI None


    Quote Originally Posted by GirlAmerica View Post
    Would you/have you? Under what circumstances? What do you actually consider cheating?
    to me, cheating represents a failure in communication. if one feels significant desire to cheat, it's best to try to be honest and tell the other party that you're having problems with your relationship and that the relationship needs changes. if eventually you can't work things out, it's best to break up. passive aggression is a HUGE problem in a large percentage of american relationships

  2. #72
    Senior Member Array tkae.'s Avatar
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    Sep 2010
    5w4 sx/sp


    If I "cheat" at anything, it's because a person's definition of what cheating is differs from mine. To me, it's not cheating. I don't cheat. And if I do cheat, I feel so bad about it that I punish myself and do my best to undo whatever rewards I got from cheating tenfold.

    Like, if I cheat to pass a test and make a 100 (which I've never done in my entire life, by the way), I'd take a 0 on the next test. But that's IF I make a bad decision that compromises my personal values, which is VERY VERY VERY VERY rare.

    Maybe THRICE in my whole life.

    "Not knowing how near the truth is, we seek it far away." -Ekaku Hakuin

    5w4 . IEI . Chaotic Good
    Right-Libertarian Minarchist

  3. #73
    Junior Member Array
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    Dec 2010


    good questions! i have some experience. but wish i didn't. really really really wish i didn't.

    my enfp wife of 14 years, and mother of our 3 children, cheated on me about 2.5years ago. i really understood the meaning of words in a new way- words like devestation, betrayal, heartbroken. the worst part- during and after- was all the lying and deceit.

    i don't recommend it for those considering it, or sliding towards it. IMO, tis better to step up and face the music rather than avoiding issues or brutally dismembering a marriage and/or family via an affair.

    i'm not playing a victim card here but 2 years after the fact, it is still a big fat wound on such a deep level -trauma is the right word- and the experience has not been a good thing for anyone involved, except for maybe the homewrecker who had very little to lose anyway.

    that said, i wouldn't do it. i also never thought, before the affair, i could live with someone who would do that. but life is surprising sometimes! children were definately a factor in my decision to hang in through the pain and see what transpires.

    cheating is definately an individual thing- not caused by the relationship, or the other partner, notwithstanding the imperfection in one or both.


  4. #74
    i love Array skylights's Avatar
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    Jul 2010
    6w7 so/sx
    EII Ne


    homework - sure, who cares? i hate the idea that there's something special about coming up with your "own" answer. better to collaborate and get a more informed answer. there shouldn't be a stigma on free distribution of information.

    tests - i think the closest i've really ever come is writing mnemonics (acronyms) on my hand for some huge anatomy test. i think it's not fair to other people to cheat, but again, i feel like the idea of test-taking in general is somewhat stupid and flawed. tests aren't always a very good indicator of how well you know the subject - they're a better indicator of how good you are at taking tests. for example, i usually do much better on essay tests than multiple choice. why? because i think the logic in multiple choice is really confusing. just let me explain what i freaking know. i understand that classes need objective benchmarks and blah blah but some classes rely WAY too much on testing. i would feel guilty about cheating if i got a better grade than i thought i deserved, but if i was doing it because i felt the test wasn't a very good measurement of my knowledge, i wouldn't really care (but i haven't ever really done it because i realize that it screws over others' scores if i unfairly get a better score).

    relationships - no. never. man up and break up, or man up and stay in the relationship. cheating just hurts everyone.

  5. #75
    Senior Member Array Lily flower's Avatar
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    Jun 2010


    I remember being faithful to my boyfriend in college the whole time I was on my "semester abroad," despite several opportunities to cheat.

    Then I flew home, and we broke up 24 hours later.

    Not a waste, though, because I have always been proud of myself that I had that kind of character.

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