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  1. #41
    /X\(:: :: )/X\ BlueSprout's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Airwalker View Post
    Those are all the things that i am working on and I have achieved a lot of them with one side effect. I takes ALOT of energy. ALOT of energy. People at work or people who i have just met. Don't believe i'm an INFP. They all think i'm this extrovert that has his life "together". But when i'm tired ..oh boy..INFP guy pops up immediately.

    But all the traits you mentioned you can learn or cultivate. And a few are already part of you, but you need to get into challenging situation where this trait will pop up. A few traits you mentioned are traits not "natural" to us INFP's. These are in my opinion the hardest to cultivate since it kinda goes against your nature, and can make you feel like your not being yourself.

    What I want is to have more control over me being oversensitive. People don't see it put , it's a ongoing war in my head and to be able to keep in touch with friends better.
    Wow. I can't imagine the kind of energy that would take from an INFP to be honest. Hopefully you have someplace/someone to retreat to when the facade collapses. I've read that INFPs can cultivate an ESTJ shadow, but that it takes a heavy toll on them in the long run. I hope you can strike a comfortable balance in your life one day.

    I'm personally not up to pursuing perfection. Few people are capable of embodying all of the traits I described with ease. Also, my weaknesses are as much a part of me as my strengths. It's not that I don't work at them, but I don't expect to ever be as logical as an INTP (as much as it pains me, because I feel this is the standard I'm usually held to), as badass as an xSTP, etc.

    Your goals seem simple and few enough to be reasonable. They certainly address typical INFP weaknesses. Hang in there.

  2. #42
    Rubber Nipple Salesperson ladypinkington's Avatar
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    I would like to be more balanced. I tend to be too intense. It is so strange being an introvert who often has too much personality for most people,lol.
    Me and hubby made an RPG Nutrition Game
    Play and Vote July 14th to Aug 14th
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  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jane View Post
    Wow. I can't imagine the kind of energy that would take from an INFP to be honest. Hopefully you have someplace/someone to retreat to when the facade collapses. I've read that INFPs can cultivate an ESTJ shadow, but that it takes a heavy toll on them in the long run. I hope you can strike a comfortable balance in your life one day.
    When it all becomes to much and i Need to recharge a take a whole weekend for myself. Sometimes I get back from work and wake up the next day with work clothes still on. It does take a toll on me and being this ESTJ shadow is like something that comes up without me thinking about it.

    But that is one of the things I need handle right now. Finding comfortable balance in my life. That would be very nice. Just peace...hmmmm

  4. #44
    Junior Member emptyepiphany's Avatar
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    -Patience and control? I get upset and worked up pretty easily. I tell myself in my mind that I shouldn't and I need to relax and be in control of my emotions. But deep down, I feel the livid energy building inside and I can't help myself. I cry, get immature, lose my temper, nervous, then I feel stupid and apologize a lot.
    This I wish that emotions would listen to my head...my reasoning...my cool, calm and collected understanding of everything.

    My head often gives me some really great advice and guidance, but when emotions are involved it's like a weatherman telling the weather "ok, seriously, you need to be sunny and warm today because it's what's best for everyone." The weatherman simply CANNOT tell the weather what to do, but he CAN observe it and interpret it and even see it coming if he his instruments are in tune enough.

    Also: live life outside my head more. I need to live in the moment more...not this weird mixture of clear/idealistic/beautiful future, distorted past and hazy present.

  5. #45
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by emptyepiphany View Post
    when emotions are involved it's like a weatherman telling the weather "ok, seriously, you need to be sunny and warm today because it's what's best for everyone." The weatherman simply CANNOT tell the weather what to do, but he CAN observe it and interpret it and even see it coming if he his instruments are in tune enough.
    Love your saying...I am going to have to add it to my arsenal of metaphors

    I have a very similar saying...Emotions are like the wind. You can't stop the wind from blowing. You can only set your sails to have the wind carry you in a certain direction.

    We can choose how you deal with emotions, but we certainly can't control which ones we have...wouldn't life be so much easier if we could?
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
    Extroverted (E) 52.5%........Introverted (I) 47.5%
    Intuitive (N) 65.63%..........Sensing (S) 34.38%
    Feeling (F) 55.56%............Thinking (T) 44.44%
    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  6. #46
    No Cigar Litvyak's Avatar
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    I wish I'd be less competitive and more efficient instead.

    Quote Originally Posted by Malkavia View Post
    I wish I were better at not comparing myself to others and being happy with me.
    ... and this.

  7. #47
    Member Prime's Avatar
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    To make peace with my dichotomies. To tip scales toward more beneficial outcomes.

    For instance, I'm habitually creative. Making art, jokes, and writing are uncontrollable urges. Yet at the same time, my love for the comforts of anonymity means I almost never put my expressions in a public field. In essence, rather than contributing to the world, I'm creating my own.

    My own world... where early 90's references are understood by all and the Arsenio Hall arm pump is still in style.

  8. #48
    Member Zenihita's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malkavia View Post
    I wish I were better at not comparing myself to others and being happy with me.
    me too

    Quote Originally Posted by William K View Post
    Seconded. Self-doubt caused by over-analysis is probably my greatest weakness
    yes

    Quote Originally Posted by Prime View Post
    To make peace with my dichotomies. To tip scales toward more beneficial outcomes.
    Agreed. I'm an extreme N and P, I would like to even those out a bit.

    Another thing I would like to change is being more focused on the right things. Like sticking with particular type of art and practicing it regularly, becoming better at it gradually. At the moment I don't have many areas of expertise because I'm so scattered and I have trouble committing myself to things. I hardly ever try hard at anything and it's (almost?) impossible to succeed with out it.

  9. #49
    Senior Member HollyGolightly's Avatar
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    I wish I was sexy. I have the sex appeal of a gnat.

    I also wish I had a stronger hold on reality. I'm sick of people asking whether I take drugs. I'm strange, get over it ;P

    I wish I was more assertive.
    And I wish I didn't seek approval so much.
    "Dad I can't feel my legs."

    "That's because you don't have any arms."

  10. #50
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    I want to be more motivated in life and less anxious about it.
    I feel that i can be a very caring person, but my abrasive qualities get in the way.


    Quote Originally Posted by Avis View Post
    I'd like to be less shy and more self-confident. Most people who get to know me really like me, but I have a hard time making friends.


    I wish I was more at ease socially and not so quiet all the time. Sometimes it's not even shyness; I just cannot think of anything to say/do to contribute. I tend to just mimic the polite crap other people say so I don't seem totally aloof, but then I feel like a zombie. I think part of it is being removed from the moment and just more in tune with my own thoughts. I wish I could be in tune with other people.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyi View Post
    -Motivation. This is my biggest problem. Its torture to do almost anything that I don't really want to do. I've been slacking off so much, not going to school, not looking for a new job


    I wish I had more motivation, but not just for things I don't want to do, but even things I want to do. I'm not a very productive person because I get so lost inside my head. I have all these ideas, but I get frustrated when trying to make them tangible, or I am content to dream about them. Doing takes soooo much energy. I wish I wasn't so easily drained...

    -Confidence....I am insecure of my abilities and the whole world just kind of freaks me out sometime. I'm scared of what I'll encounter and how my dreams will shatter before my eyes when I realize this is totally not what I thought of it to be. I just want to be able to just do it and not worry about it so much.



    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Useful in practice rather than just theory...
    I can relate to this, kind of....I sometimes wish I had practical talents and smarts. I'm book smart and have artistic talents, and I love that, but so little of it is useful in the "real world" as far as making a living and connecting with people. I feel like INFP strengths are undervalued in the world, and I let that get to me a lot.

    And lastly, I'd like to stop wishing less and start actually doing/being these thing I want to do/be and/or accept myself for who I am and get over it.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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