Lately, I have become something I'm QUITE sure I don't want to be: a jerk.
I have a very small group of friends (a group of 5) and lately, I've limited myself to hanging out with only two of those friends. I don't return calls to my other friends. They're getting frustrated with me. I have no desire to hang out with them anymore. I just feel like we move in different circles now. I don't relate with them anymore. Even when I have forced myself to hang out with them (which I have done), I'm not truly there. I'm usually spacing out. Not to mention, one of them has a habit of making me feel like shit because she, too, is an INFP, and she's hyper-sensitive about EVERYTHING. For instance, she asked if I wanted to split a milkshake with her once and got offended that I said no thanks. Of course I felt bad and consented to splitting the milkshake only to get an upset stomach later.
Furthermore, I've become impatient. I was always impatient to some extent, but here lately I have become a monster with it. I get annoyed. I've become snappy. I'm jealous a lot. I'm more cynical than ever. I want to RAM into the tailgate of vehicles going the speed limit! :steam:
For example, the friend that I have been hanging out with and myself were searching something on Google. He misspelled it, and instead of going to the little auto-correction link Google provides, he went an re-typed the whole thing in the search bar. I pretty much became a volcano and erupted with a little acidic remark about it.
This is NOT me, but I have no idea what to do about it. I don't know if me being a jerk has any correlation with me shutting myself off from some of my friends. I haven't a clue. Maybe I'm becoming a T.
I don't know what it is. Most people would describe me as passive, friendly, caring, and supportive. I don't feel like that at all anymore.
This whole thing was very convoluted. Sorry about that.