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  1. #1
    Member monocycle's Avatar
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    Unhappy Shutting myself off ... and becoming a jerk

    Lately, I have become something I'm QUITE sure I don't want to be: a jerk.

    I have a very small group of friends (a group of 5) and lately, I've limited myself to hanging out with only two of those friends. I don't return calls to my other friends. They're getting frustrated with me. I have no desire to hang out with them anymore. I just feel like we move in different circles now. I don't relate with them anymore. Even when I have forced myself to hang out with them (which I have done), I'm not truly there. I'm usually spacing out. Not to mention, one of them has a habit of making me feel like shit because she, too, is an INFP, and she's hyper-sensitive about EVERYTHING. For instance, she asked if I wanted to split a milkshake with her once and got offended that I said no thanks. Of course I felt bad and consented to splitting the milkshake only to get an upset stomach later.

    Furthermore, I've become impatient. I was always impatient to some extent, but here lately I have become a monster with it. I get annoyed. I've become snappy. I'm jealous a lot. I'm more cynical than ever. I want to RAM into the tailgate of vehicles going the speed limit! :steam:

    For example, the friend that I have been hanging out with and myself were searching something on Google. He misspelled it, and instead of going to the little auto-correction link Google provides, he went an re-typed the whole thing in the search bar. I pretty much became a volcano and erupted with a little acidic remark about it.

    This is NOT me, but I have no idea what to do about it. I don't know if me being a jerk has any correlation with me shutting myself off from some of my friends. I haven't a clue. Maybe I'm becoming a T.

    I don't know what it is. Most people would describe me as passive, friendly, caring, and supportive. I don't feel like that at all anymore.

    This whole thing was very convoluted. Sorry about that.
    From the One Light, the entire universe welled up. So who is good, and who is bad? -- Guru Granth Sahib Ji, Ang 1349

  2. #2
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Do you feel rejected by the 3 friends you are avoiding?
    Being a jerk can be a reaction to feeling isolated or abandoned in some way.

  3. #3
    Member monocycle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nebbykoo View Post
    Do you feel rejected by the 3 friends you are avoiding?
    Being a jerk can be a reaction to feeling isolated or abandoned in some way.
    Not really. I feel out-of-place when I'm around them. It's not a rejected feeling. I'm not engaged in conversations or in their activities. Like I said, I just sort of zone out because I have no desire to be there with them.
    From the One Light, the entire universe welled up. So who is good, and who is bad? -- Guru Granth Sahib Ji, Ang 1349

  4. #4
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by monocycle View Post
    Lately, I have become something I'm QUITE sure I don't want to be: a jerk.

    I have a very small group of friends (a group of 5) and lately, I've limited myself to hanging out with only two of those friends. I don't return calls to my other friends. They're getting frustrated with me. I have no desire to hang out with them anymore. I just feel like we move in different circles now. I don't relate with them anymore. Even when I have forced myself to hang out with them (which I have done), I'm not truly there. I'm usually spacing out. Not to mention, one of them has a habit of making me feel like shit because she, too, is an INFP, and she's hyper-sensitive about EVERYTHING. For instance, she asked if I wanted to split a milkshake with her once and got offended that I said no thanks. Of course I felt bad and consented to splitting the milkshake only to get an upset stomach later.

    Furthermore, I've become impatient. I was always impatient to some extent, but here lately I have become a monster with it. I get annoyed. I've become snappy. I'm jealous a lot. I'm more cynical than ever. I want to RAM into the tailgate of vehicles going the speed limit! :steam:
    Are you experiencing a lot of stress in other areas of your life? I think that could account for a lot of the above...I really relate to you about the impatience/anger thing, although perhaps not so much to your friend issues.

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  5. #5
    Member monocycle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Are you experiencing a lot of stress in other areas of your life? I think that could account for a lot of the above...I really relate to you about the impatience/anger thing, although perhaps not so much to your friend issues.

    All of the stress is pretty much gone now that I am out of class for the holidays. I am at a loss. back @ you.
    From the One Light, the entire universe welled up. So who is good, and who is bad? -- Guru Granth Sahib Ji, Ang 1349

  6. #6
    morose bourgeoisie
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    I'm tired of 20 questions...

    I vote for demonic possession.

  7. #7
    Member monocycle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nebbykoo View Post
    I'm tired of 20 questions...

    I vote for demonic possession.
    From the One Light, the entire universe welled up. So who is good, and who is bad? -- Guru Granth Sahib Ji, Ang 1349

  8. #8
    Yup
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    so are you looking tips to break old ties? or tired of being emotionally blackmailed into going out, when you would rather stay in and are looking for ways to address this issue, without further being emotionally blackmailed and feeling like crap?

  9. #9
    Member illume's Avatar
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    I always tell my close friends that when I shut myself away and cut off communication, to please not take it personally.... It means things are not going well with me and I need to assimilate my thoughts and/or feelings on my own.

  10. #10
    Member monocycle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yakimadude View Post
    so are you looking tips to break old ties? or tired of being emotionally blackmailed into going out, when you would rather stay in and are looking for ways to address this issue, without further being emotionally blackmailed and feeling like crap?
    This would be helpful, yes. Is that even possible to do? Wishful thinking, maybe?
    From the One Light, the entire universe welled up. So who is good, and who is bad? -- Guru Granth Sahib Ji, Ang 1349

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