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  1. #31
    Senior Member Neutralpov's Avatar
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    Default good or bad?

    Yeah I know but I just read the thread and liked it. So many threads end without closure I have noticed. I read through them and feel like I know the people but I have no place in them because they ended a year before I came into this world here.

    So 30 is the magic age? I can't wait to not be emotional!

    And are you close to T on your T/F? Also do you think you are used to be alone now and just accustomed to it. Well and I don't know your status but being single a long time somewhat has this effect on me. But when a SO rushes in the world completely shifts and you are flooded with all that again. Feels so exhausting at first since it is such a big swing from being free.

    Also is this normal to INFJ or just all people? IDK sounded like a quarter-life crisis also. That can have the same symptoms.
    Extroverted (E) 67.74% Introverted (I) 32.26%
    Intuitive (N) 51.72% Sensing (S) 48.28%
    Feeling (F) 51.61% Thinking (T) 48.39%
    Judging (J) 69.44% Perceiving (P) 30.56%

    Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
    so/sx/sp

  2. #32
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeatherC View Post
    Yeah I know but I just read the thread and liked it. So many threads end without closure I have noticed. I read through them and feel like I know the people but I have no place in them because they ended a year before I came into this world here.

    So 30 is the magic age? I can't wait to not be emotional!

    And are you close to T on your T/F? Also do you think you are used to be alone now and just accustomed to it. Well and I don't know your status but being single a long time somewhat has this effect on me. But when a SO rushes in the world completely shifts and you are flooded with all that again. Feels so exhausting at first since it is such a big swing from being free.

    Also is this normal to INFJ or just all people? IDK sounded like a quarter-life crisis also. That can have the same symptoms.
    It was about 30 for me... Maybe I am just getting better control on them.

    I am not used to being alone, I have been a loner my whole life, I hate being alone though. Hate it. Would much rather be interacting with people.

    As for my status... well its kind of embarrassing to admit, but I am not really taking relationships seriously right now, theres just no point... so I am seeing a few women kind of narrowing my way through until I find someone I really like. I used to do it one at a time because I felt so guilty, but I dont feel guilty any more.

    I think I am realigning much closer to my T then my F then ever before.
    Ground control to Major Tom

  3. #33
    Senior Member Neutralpov's Avatar
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    Wink makes sense

    I think in one of my type books it says that over your life you cover your 4 functions. not sure the order for INFJ but it makes sense for me.

    I think the first years you are your dominant (Fe for me) and as I hit later 20's I am getting in touch with my secondary (Ni). This is so true for me. I am not as social now as I was when in college. I was ridiculously outgoing then and love to intuit alone or read typology. But also things happening in your life could have forced you into Ti I think you said.

    Also us NF's don't close off to one person unless they are pretty much the "one." And intuits know it when they see it without question and you being INFJ most likely do and aren't interested in anything but that one passion when you meet the person because you have no motivation unless it is all there. My ENFJ friends say it was obvious when they met their husbands and so when I hem and haw and am not just super excited about a guy they remind me of the "one" intuition we will have. Also if you are INFJ you may marry later on, INTJ's especially if you are close on the T/F because of your individuality and independence. Esp is you are financially and emotionally able to sustain and be happy. You won't marry until your intuit the fireworks and when you do you will probably get set on fire. that'l wake you up.
    Extroverted (E) 67.74% Introverted (I) 32.26%
    Intuitive (N) 51.72% Sensing (S) 48.28%
    Feeling (F) 51.61% Thinking (T) 48.39%
    Judging (J) 69.44% Perceiving (P) 30.56%

    Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
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  4. #34
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Billy, is this the bisexual poly girl who had another steady partner when you met her?

    I think that could shed a lot of light on why you aren't, or rather aren't allowing yourself, to feel anything for her when she's not around.

    It actually makes more sense if you think she's clearly falling for you as there is no space for immediate anxiety.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  5. #35
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    [QUOTE=HeatherC;1208186]Yeah I know but I just read the thread and liked it. So many threads end without closure I have noticed. I read through them and feel like I know the people but I have no place in them because they ended a year before I came into this world here.

    I agree!! Thank you so much foe posting. I've been feeling emotionally disconnected for some time and it's so unusual to me I feel like on my way to becoming a sociopath. Which had me scared because I've always been so sensitive to people's feeling and lately I could care less. It's so unlike me.

    I'm 21 and I'm 50/50 on T/F...

  6. #36
    facettes de la petite mor Words of Ivory's Avatar
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    I've known you for a while Billy, and my honest answer is this... you're just being too hard on yourself.

    I think you're spending so much time thinking about this that's it's simply stopping you from just enough *doing*. It's very easy to neglect your interactions when you spend so much time thinking. I know this from experience.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    "Life calls out the meaning of pure jubilance,
    if you'll only take the time to hear it."
    ~ Words of Ivory ~

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy View Post
    Seriously, when I am around other people Fe kicks in and I can reflect off of what other people are doing and feeling, but when I am alone, there is quite simply nothing there. I think I used to have much more intense feelings when I was just entering my 20s, but as I thought back to it, I am not sure how many of them were genuine other then a general disgust for people in general and a longing to connect to someone. Other then that there wasn't really any "feelings" that I could realistically call my own.

    I dont even feel those things any more though. Now its just like numbness like a robotic desire to accomplish things and do things, but nothing overtly emotional.

    I am connected to an ENFJ girl right now who is clearly falling in love with me, and I like her and all that but when she isnt around me I don't feel anything about her. That's just the catalyst that sparked this for me. Its not really a fear, but it seems like there should be something there and quite simply there isn't.

    I have been taking to drinking when I am alone and bored, not so much to escape, escape is easy enough for me... but in order to feel things. Unfortunately most of the things I end up "feeling" in this state are sadness and regrets, and guilt for not feeling things in general.

    Is it possible for NFs as they age to begin to lose heart?

    Ive noticed that I am also becoming exceedingly more logical and rigid in my J'ness, very disturbed by disorder and mess.

    I think at the core is my Ni, which has always remained resolute as my primary mode of "being" and I know I was always sort of detached, but I am not sure how much of the things I have felt in the past were genuine or just reflections of my over emotive friends and family. As far back as I can remember I was detached, but these days its 10X worse. I am really trying to connect to this girl, but it just seems like there is nothing there, nothing good, nothing bad, just pros and cons... and I don't want to hurt anybody, I have enough regrets and guilt over all that...

    I am having a very difficult time trying to explain this, I don't know if its normal or not, but I don't like that I reach into the pockets of my heart and I am only coming up with lint... its making it very hard for me to navigate through my life. Usually I base everything I do on an accord with my heart and what I believe are my feelings... of course that segues into my next issue

    My lack of internalized feelings have led me to be easily manipulated by my ESFJ and ESFP family members and an 8 year stint with an ISFJ girlfriend... Well manipulated is a strong word, what they do isn't subtle... its obvious to me, but I was ok with giving in and going along with it because I didn't want to disappoint them, this lead me to being extremely self sacrificing, and I gave up a lot of stuff for a lot of people. Long story short I have cut them all out of my life for the most part and I don't allow them to control me any more. This has been met with a LOT of anger, regardless I am not interested in going back to the way things were because quite frankly, I am getting older and I need to accomplish more for myself and less for others.

    This has given me loads of time to detox essentially from their feelings and controls they put into me for so many years, and what I am coming to realize is the stuff I was saying above, there isn't much of any native feeling there. Just a desire to not hurt people and not disappoint people, is this an INFJ thing?

    I am just trying to make some sense of all this. Comments are appreciated.
    Self-reflect -> Depressed -> Over think -> Anxious -> Numb -> Loss of memory

    That's my route. If this is where you are at, then perhaps you're about to become very unhealthy. Loss of memory is a bitch by the way. I can't remember my own birthday when it's right around the corner, and I can't remember simple words anymore (I just spent five minutes trying to remember the word "example" I was going to use it in a google search).

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